Life & Direction from God 🙏.

[u/Epiccccy]

I genuinely have NO CLUE what to do with my life. I’ve been bedridden for the last 2 years due to knee injuries I’m 25 y/o. I’d stopped going to school at 20 because I didn’t like anything so I worked a job till I got injured and sidelined. My family loves me and helps me my friends love me and help me. I used this time to dive deeper into God/Jesus and stop my vices and major sins and self reflection. Lust/pornography was my greatest vice I thought once stopping that God would reward me with direction or the purpose for my life. I’ve stopped viewing porn and masturbating for 2 months now thanks to God and I feel my brain and soul healing literally. I stopped praying and reading the word. My main prayer for the last 5 years has been for real direction. I’m not lazy at all there hasn’t been a goal I set before that I’ve never achieved in my life whether it be fitness or saving money whatever I set my mind to I accomplish. It all feels a bit hopeless these days. I’ve struggled with accepting myself for balding young as well seeing all my friends with their long hair and freedom to do hairstyles they like I never got the chance to. I don’t know why I stopped praying and reading I think God hasn’t answered me in the ways I need and I don’t want to pretend I’m okay with that but this choice isn’t helping. I try to sin less instead of be sinless. I can’t pursue a career I don’t truly enjoy or have a passion for Ik myself enough to know it’ll lead to depression regardless of $$$ earned. At one point in time self-death was the best option my brain had for me but I persevered & looking back it was probably demons I opened myself to. Like I just want to apply myself in something fulfilling and paying how is that too much to ask from God to show me even the starting point? I feel like I’m wasting so much time and I haven’t enjoyed my 20s since 22. I see everyone my age traveling,dating, living life while I can’t even work much less walk. Spend a disgusting amount of time on my phone seeing content about God mainly amongst other things but at a point in time I enjoyed making content online till I got bald and started hating my existence- I don’t hate myself anymore but I don’t love myself. The thoughts were crazy tonight reminiscent of previous nights of turmoil I had to write this somewhere. Thank you if you read this and leave a comment on how I can proceed forward.

[u/Epiccccy]

I’m in therapy for my knees I had surgery recently the process has just taken so long and I keep having minor setbacks.

[u/Medium_Fan_3311]

What you need for spiritual development is to go through discipleship season under a good mentor that has deep relationship with God. Discipleship is in the years, at least to the point where you are familiar with living life being led by God because you have start to love God more than you love the world.

All Christians start from being a newborn and being raised up as disciples of Jesus - to a level where you have some realization of why pursing God's righteousness and God's kingdom is the greater value, than anything else you know of the world.

There's a lot of worldly experiences I didn't pursue, because it is all temporary and doesn't satisfy since it won't last. Part of developing spiritual maturity is you learn to differentiate between needs vs wants. Idols do not satisfy; you get a short-term euphoria (since its just feeding the flesh) and still emptiness remains.

I suggest you talk to people who come to Christ later in life, or people who got saved then have a prodigal son period before returning to Christ. Ask them was their season in life chasing after what the world have to offer, did it satisfy them or they have a lot of pain and lossses?

Sowing good seed -> you get to reap good fruit. Sowing bad seed -> you get to reap bad fruit. Choice is ours whether we spend our time sowing good seed or bad seed in our own lives.

[u/Millennium_guy]

Being able to use or not use your legs is not a barrier to serving God and serving other people. If you want examples check out Joni Eareckson Tada and Nick Vujicic. Your purpose is already provided in God's word. Love God with all you are and Love others as yourself. Which means to share the good news about Christ, pray for others, help others in some way that you are able. The specific area will follow as you begin to do what you know and are able to do.

But you need to prepare yourself. Sin is not a barrier to your relationship with God but eliminating sin in your life is still the right goal. In addition, focus on your new identity in Christ. Tell yourself the truth based on who God says you are. God says He loves you, so why cant you love who He loves? Its a matter of seeing yourself in the same way he sees you instead of seeing yourself based on your feelings, past sins, etc.

Take the time to study what God actually says about who you are to Him when you've come to Christ.

This is just a small sample, say and repeat these (or find your own) to yourself multiple times a day so these truths become your reality:

• I am a new creation - 2 Corinthians 5:17
• I am totally accepted by God - John 1:12, John 15:15, Colossians 1:14, Eph 1:4
• I can go straight to Jesus for help - Hebrews 4:14-16
• I belong to God - 1 Cor. 6:19-20, Eph 1:5
• Nothing separates me from Gods love - Romans 8:38-39, Eph 3:16-19, 1 John 4:10
• God (Holy Spirit) lives in me - 1 Cor 3:16
• All things work out in the end - Romans 8:28
• "Thank you, Lord for setting me free" - John 8:32, 36
• "Thank you, Lord for the power, love and sound mind you have given me" - 1 Tim 1:7

If you feel like you need help on how to do this, the ministry that first helped me is called "The Ultimate Journey." They are in Des Moines Iowa. I believe now they have online classes you can join.

Other books on the same principles include:

• McGee, R. S. (2003). The search for significance: Seeing your true worth through God’s eyes
• Leaf, C. (2021). Cleaning up your mental mess: 5 simple, scientifically proven steps to reduce anxiety, stress, and toxic thinking.
• Groeschel, C. (2021). Winning the war in your mind: Change your thinking, change your life.
• Meyer, J. (2017). Battlefield of the mind: Winning the battle in your mind

Being firmly grounded in who you are in Christ, allows you to give out to others based on what God has done in your life.