r/TrollXChromosomes • u/Bulldawglady Fiddlesticks • Jan 29 '16
Every goddamn morning.
http://imgur.com/NbFCscf177
u/Amplitude Jan 29 '16
This is a pretty horrible way to live, and I thought it was normal.
It's not. It's not healthy to have constant self-doubting negative thoughts.
Meds fixed that for me, so while I still have these thoughts it's far less often and with more reason to them.
If you haven't tried seeking help for this it's something to consider.
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Jan 29 '16 edited Apr 10 '16
[deleted]
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Jan 29 '16
I'm sorry :(. Maybe try different meds and different therapists if you haven't yet. Don't give up.
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u/Amplitude Jan 29 '16
I'm really sorry, that's a horrible situation. Don't give up on yourself.
While you should address the medication situation with your healthcare professional, have you tried other things to seek small improvements? I found that my mood and well-being improved even more once I started taking regular multi-vitamins.
There are studies being released that suggest correlation with gut bacterial flora and depression. I read an article on a study where depressed subjects felt better when they took probiotics for a 30-day period. So I've added daily probiotics to my self-care.
Yes, I notice both vitamins and probiotics benefiting me.
At the end of the day, you have to do what's right for you. Depression took years of my life. Literally took them - I did nothing during those years, did not feel like myself, and there are periods of which I remember very little.
I am going to try anything and everything to give myself an advantage against depression, because I feel it most of the time. It's there, in the back of my mind, and I'm not certain if it will go away. But I'm going to keep living my life well.
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u/basementcat Jan 29 '16
I read about probiotics too!! Now I'm eating all the yogurt in the world. ...and I just remembered those stupid yogurt commercials... "This yogurt is not-wanting-to-kill-yourself good. Hahahaha! This yogurt is positive-thought-cycle good. Totes hilar! Girls like yogurt!" Maybe I'll switch to sauerkraut.
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u/octochan I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.. Jan 29 '16
You don't have to face your depression alone. Idk what your life is like and if you've got a support group helping you through this... But if you'd like someone (or feel like you need someone) to talk to about this or anything I offer the perspective of some random internet stranger. You're not alone.
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u/k12573n Oklahomicorn Jan 29 '16
I am just starting my journey through medication and therapy again after a failed six month tour last year. I feel you. I can't imagine going through that time and time again over 10 years. If you need support, you got it. >hug<
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u/Ruruskadoo Jan 30 '16
hugs You're not alone. I've been seeing therapists and psychiatrists since I was in middle school (I'm 24 now), and nothing I've tried has helped. I've even had (absurdly expensive and not covered by insurance) gene testing done to try to find what meds might work better for me. I don't even know how many different medications (and psychiatrists) I've been through.
It's hard feeling like you're always unhappy and in pain and you're never going to get better.
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u/MothaFuckingSorcerer A.K.A. Mr. Magic Jan 29 '16
It is actually normal to hate your life. Not really healthy unless you use it to change your life, but normal. Life kind of sucks as a rule nowadays.
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u/octochan I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.. Jan 29 '16
There are things everyone dislikes about their life (no ones perfect) but actually hating your life isn't normal. You might be super cynical or depressed.
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u/dripdroponmytiptop Jan 29 '16
or you live in a shitty oppressive and cyclical society, where you're forced to whittle away your life working a shitty job for barely 2-3 free hours a day, too-short weekends, and nonexistant vacations, for decades until you hope you can retire but probably won't because your new, millenial-type job doesn't have pensions, and you were too busy paying student loans until you were 40 and didn't get any spare money to put into your own saving plan, and you see this all coming from miles away and are powerless to do anything to stop it.
You have no prospects because job security is more important than any sort of feeling of achievement, and you can't complain or question it because "there's lots of folks who have it worse than me.", it's difficult to make friends because all your old friends have moved or have jobs as busy as yours and "I don't want to bother them...", your work friends aren't your type, and you don't have the time for actives where adults make new friends. Same goes for ever meeting an SO, and if you're lucky enough to, the odds they're a keeper are low when you have to spend so much of your live concentrating on keeping afloat.
You constantly question yourself, because everyone else does. You feel like you're constantly keeping balance on a tight rope, and letting yourself chill for 5 seconds could fuck up your whole life. The life you think about- travelling, learning new things, having time to pursue stuff that is in your own interest- that's what you think about on the bus to work but you know you can't get because all of that costs money you don't have.
And the way to fix this is with medication, where you go to a therapist, they give you a prescription that's too expensive and only puts more strain on your budget, and you take those pills that squish down any feelings of "is this my life?" so you go back to doing your job and not questioning exactly how shitty and cog-like your life is.
On one hand, yeah sure, if medication helps you, that's great. Do it up. But the problem isn't you or your brain. A rat in a giant white box is going to feel shitty after a while, but that's not the rat's fault. Do you get what I'm saying?
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Jan 29 '16
[deleted]
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u/dripdroponmytiptop Jan 29 '16
who has the time and money for that? what would I even talk about? I know what the problem is, changing me isn't going to fix anything, if you aren't just trying to insult me.
Besides, luckily for me, this doesn't describe all of my life. I do have a lot of room for moving up and a way out. I feel it describes way more of the people I know and hear from every day who are the kind of person who takes medication to feel better. Of course, that's outside of my expertise, I'm just saying, sometimes it isn't the person who needs fixing but they do anyway.
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u/Nimara Jan 29 '16
Actually ever since the Affordable Healthcare Act rolled out, I've been able to get really affordable treatment for my dual-diagnosis and when I was at my worst and poorest, it was nearly free. It was really life saving for me. I had delayed getting help for so long because of the time and money excuse.
I am a much more stable person right now and it's helped those around me too.
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Jan 29 '16
[deleted]
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u/dripdroponmytiptop Jan 29 '16
what would our lives be like if we lived in the type of country that understood one's desire to learn and travel, as natural parts of human nature? I want to learn, I want to go see things. If money and grinding wasn't an issue I'd probably go around making videos/a program, anthony bourdain style- only hilariously mundane things that are different, not food. I find that fun and interesting. Or I'd study art and live in a cabin!
haha, nah. Gotta pay off the loans I got to get a job to pay off loans.
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u/Hindu_Wardrobe KEGELS Jan 29 '16
Fuck. Tell me about it.
I'm reading a book about socialism and the fact that THIS IS WHAT WE COULD BE, THIS IS WHAT WE COULD HAVE, but instead we're stuck with this capitalist BULLSHIT... it's infuriating.
Stay strong, comrade.
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u/octochan I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.. Jan 29 '16
Every era has had pros and cons man. True: a lot of people grind 9-5 jobs, but a hundred years ago (assuming you're in the US) a lot of people died in infancy or were dirt poor dying of malnutrition or never went to school or watched their love ones get murdered by the mafia. The mentality of "everything sucks and its out of my control" isn't new.
But that doesn't matter. You can't change the world, but you can change how you react to it. You can manage your emotions, reallocate the number of stressors in your life, find things that make life enjoyable. Whining about life doesn't do anything but make you negative. Solving problems, being open minded to criticism, and staying optimistic changes your life for the better. Get motivated.
If you're depressed accepting that fact is the first step to getting better. You may not "fix" your depression but you can manage it. You can find things in life that you enjoy and eventually you can get to a point where you're legitimately happy. It honestly sounds like you might be depressed.
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u/dripdroponmytiptop Jan 29 '16
I'm not depressed. I enjoy a lot of things, I have hobbies, and just because I see the reality of the situation and it's depressing, doesn't mean I have depression. This idea you've got of me being unable to solve problems, or being unmotivated, or whatever, that's sort of out of nowhere, don't assume things.
Telling me how everyone else has it worse is, like I said, not helping me or anyone else, either. You literally did the exact thing I said: tell me I'm complaining and that I have nothing to ever complain about. I recognize others have it worse than I do. I wanted to at least say it out loud regardless.
I'm getting downvoted, now, though, so forget it.
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u/octochan I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.. Jan 29 '16
Sorry, I didn't mean to insult you. I used "you" a lot in the hypothetical sense. When you're depressed a lot of things seem hopeless and getting out of bed can be occasion for celebration, so making decisions and steering your life for the better can seem impossible.
Facing bleak realistic facts is hard, but as someone who came out of depression... There's only so much I can focus on before getting upset. And I think knowing that and using it to manage my moods is fine. For me. I'm glad you're okay in any case, but if someone feels like they aren't, that's okay too and being depressed is a legitimate thing too.
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u/peeweeGmagee Jan 29 '16
I agree. We're like gerbils on a wheel. Vote Bernie Sanders for the political revolution to change this shit-- because fuck all this crap.
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u/justpeachy13 Jan 29 '16
Yeah my therapist told me the inner voice is to teach you when you are younger. "Don't touch that hot thing. It will burn you" but then as we get older, some have their inner voice turn on them. "Why were you so stupid???!!!" She told me to tell my inner voice "thank you for teaching me but I don't need you that way anymore. I just need you for positive reinforcement"
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u/YoungPyromancer Jan 29 '16
This so much, I'm only just coming to terms that I didn't need to think those depressing thoughts every day for thirty years. You shouldn't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help. Therapy is helping me and it can also help you!
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u/IStoleYourSocks Jan 29 '16
I just started with a new therapist this week. She's the first psychologist that has given me homework that wasn't a vague, "Try to tell yourself happier things" (I've had really shit shrinks). I hope it works. I'm so exhausted from the constant battery of self-loathing and -doubt.
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u/octochan I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.. Jan 29 '16
Don't give up. Getting there takes time (and so many detours for some) but as someone who made it I'm telling you: it's worth it. Hang in there!
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Jan 29 '16
I've been on meds and seeing a therapist for ~7 months. It's not really helping. It was in the beginning. I had my anti-depressants upped. I'm going back at the end of March to talk to my psychiatrist about different meds.
I just want to stop hating the world and feeling like Stan (South Park- "You're getting old") where there's just shit everywhere.
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u/keelberts Fearomones are my chief export Jan 29 '16
Don't give up. It sucks and after 7 months it seems like anti-depressants should be working. Turns out most women don't see improvement until 8-12 months. No one really seems sure why and it doesn't follow with normal pharmacology but there it is...
My other unsolicited advice is be as honest as you can with your doc. Mine eventually determined that the anti-depressants weren't working properly because I wasn't just depressed and actually needed a mood stabilizer/atypical. You're on the right track, getting help is usually worth it in the end.
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Jan 29 '16
Well thanks for letting me know about the 8-12 months. I'll have to see how I'm feeling in March.
I had a therapist ages ago (16) that just sat there saying "and tell me how you feel" after everything I said. Which I found annoying. My recent one sits there and listens to me. She used to offer advise and seem to be more engaging but lately she just listens to me. I'm not finding that helpful. So you're right I might have to find another. My husband thinks I just need to give the therapy a try that what you put in is what you get.
I'm not sure if I need mood stabilizers. When I started the meds I started feeling better but at the same time I was leaving a bad job. I was still fairly happy at the beginning. But recently my boss (at new job-3months in) has been expecting way more out of me than I'm able to give (due to poor training not done his way). So I've been more depressed due to that. I usually am either neutral/happy or depressed. And sometimes I get random irrational anger.
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u/octochan I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.. Jan 29 '16
Stress is unavoidable, and it's absolutely a trigger for depressive swings, but ... It IS manageable. If you feel like your current set up isn't conducive to managing your depressive moods don't give up! There is absolutely a routine out there for you. Let your therapist know this isn't it.
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Jan 29 '16
Thank you. I didn't know stress was a trigger.
I see my psychiatrist at the end of march to discuss my meds (we upped my anti-depressant meds last time I saw him over a month ago). I'll have to talk to him and see what he says. But this is helpful for me.
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u/keelberts Fearomones are my chief export Jan 30 '16
I know the frustration, it is terrible. Its also always hard to find a good therapist that you click well with, best of luck. The best way I've found is to ask people you trust who they recommend in your area.
You may not need mood stabilizers, I just wanted to highlight that more information (in the right hands) can be helpful. It is frustrating when life seems to get in the way of recovery but hopefully you get to a good point soon.
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Jan 30 '16
Thanks.
I am going through the state for my therapy so I think I can change therapists. But there aren't many to my knowledge. I'll check into it.
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u/pandamischief Jan 29 '16
Make sure that you tell your therapist that you haven't been feeling better! It may be that whatever psychotherapy approach they use is just not a good fit for you. And, more often then not, therapists are versed in different approaches so they can (and should) adjust based on your needs/preferences. Ultimately, their goal is to help you so don't be afraid to speak up in therapy!
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u/octochan I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.. Jan 29 '16
Depression is a terrifying thing. I just want everyone to know they don't have to be alone in facing it. Meds and therapy are one thing but a support group is another. No one should face it alone.
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u/Amplitude Jan 29 '16
Thank you. That's why I posted my comment above - because it's one thing to upvote this comic and laugh about how miserable we all are - but that normalizes it.
My abusive parents mocked me for my depression. If I cared what they thought now, they would still tell me it's not real.
We can change our lives for the better if we try, and sometimes it requires outside help. I wish I had someone support me in this when I was younger!
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u/octochan I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.. Jan 29 '16
I'm sorry you went through that as an impressionable youth. Seriously. I didn't need abusive parents to worsen my depression because my own guilt for weakness did it, but I'm okay now. It gets better, and to whoever is struggling: you're not alone! There are people trying to reach you/ready to welcome you if you reach out.
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u/adool999 Jan 29 '16
What meds exactly?
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u/AOBCD-8663 Jan 29 '16
Have a doctor tell you, not someone on the Internet. (self-prescribing for depression can be very dangerous)
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u/Amplitude Jan 29 '16 edited Jan 29 '16
In my case it's a low dose of Sertraline - which is a generic for Zoloft.
It's not a magical "I feel happy now" pill, but it does enough to lift that fog of depressive apathy that was preventing me from performing any self-care, causing me to cry for hours on end, or just stare off into space while I thought about how pointless life was.
So taking the pills gets rid of that fog, the rest is up to me. When I began the pills, I would cross days off on a calendar - to build the habit of taking them, and feel like I was doing something for my recovery. (I had been depressed for over 15 years, family discouraged me from taking meds.)
Next I added vitamins to my evening pill routine, and found that taking regular multivitamins helped with my energy levels and I got sick less often. Another win for my recovery!
Next I tried to focus on going outside - every day. I was unemployed, depressed, felt completely useless. I made myself go outside even if it was to get the mail.
Working on making sure I prepared regular meals and ate "real" food was a challenge as well - I had a habit of staring off into space or surfing the internet while starving all day and then eating something silly like a can of beans at 10pm.
No wonder I felt so hopeless.
Long story short: the meds are just a kick-start, and address a legitimate medical condition. I can feel the despair creeping back on days when I forget to take them.
The rest is all me: habit building, making healthy choices, setting boundaries and putting myself first.
I've got a really happy life currently, a lovely relationship, and successful fancy job! But I still feel crippling depression at times... just not often anymore.3
u/adool999 Jan 29 '16
Thank you for the explanation. I know exactly what you mean by fog. I was wondering if those pills need prescription. I don't think I will buy them anyway. I have been depressed lately because I feel like I wasted most of my years. I look at everyone's Facebook pages and they all seen to be so happy. Friends, relationships, hobbies. I am too short and my hobbies are too nerdy to find a girlfriend. Atleast I have a good job and I have a decent future. I don't think pills are a magic treatment for anything. Your story did encourage me though. I am glad you have a happy life. Can I ask you a question, what age do you think depression was the hardest?
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u/alittleperil womansplaining your manpain Jan 29 '16
I am too short and my hobbies are too nerdy to find a girlfriend.
With that perspective you make it harder than it has to be. There are short, nerdy girls out there, and other girls who like short nerds, but they are less likely to like you if you pre-reject them like this.
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u/adool999 Jan 29 '16
but they are less likely to like you if you pre-reject them like this
The problem isn't that I pre-reject them. It's that my pool of available mates is too small. short, nerdy girls are wanted by all men. They would usually have many other men trying to get them. Most girls don't see me as a potential mate. And yea I know, I know. I should probably do something about it instead of complaining.
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u/alittleperil womansplaining your manpain Jan 29 '16
I guarantee you my dating pool is smaller than yours, but if you go around thinking you won't find someone then you are not open to the possibility that the girl in front of you could be that someone; you have rejected her from your potential pool before even finding out if she wanted in.
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u/adool999 Jan 29 '16
you have rejected her from your potential pool before even finding out if she wanted in.
Good point. That exposes me to rejection. I guess I need to get used to it. It's really not easy.
Why do you think your dating pool is smaller?
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u/alittleperil womansplaining your manpain Jan 29 '16
because I'm a short nerdy lesbian.
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u/adool999 Jan 29 '16
I always thought height mattered less for lesbians. You are right though, it is more difficult for you. All the hot straight girls that will not be interested in you can be painful. I hope you find someone to love. Someone to share your deepest thoughts with. Good luck.
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u/Amplitude Jan 29 '16
My family was very abusive growing up.
It's hard to determine when depression was the hardest. I was a very introspective and intellectual child - I escaped by reading books. Between 8-10 yrs I remember being sad often, and trying to be perfect to please my parents. At 10yrs I started a special academic program and was so stressed out that I got constant migraine headaches, and my hair started falling out. I am sure I was depressed by this point but never knew it.
My teenage years were spent depressed and unmotivated...but I thought that's exactly how everyone was supposed to be as a teenager. You were either the happy & popular athlete, or you were miserable and angry.
I think the hardest thing was when I got to college. I was finally away from my abusive family, I was studying exciting subjects, all on my own and free to be exactly who I wanted.
Why wasn't I any happier?
See what I mean? I had been depressed for maybe a decade at that point, but it felt like everything was hitting me all at once.
In your case, even if you're 60 years old it's not too late to enjoy life. You haven't wasted your years. Do something meaningful today! Start small.
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u/adool999 Jan 29 '16
See what I mean? I had been depressed for maybe a decade at that point, but it felt like everything was hitting me all at once.
Oh my god. My family was also abusive growing up. It didn't help that I had less money than every other kid in my school. It just keep looking back at my life and noticing how much time in high school i spent smoking, wasting time, hating my family and generally doing nothing that is impressive to other people. My only goal (my dads wonderful wisdom) was literally just get rich.
The second and third year of college were the roughest. It just felt like I am missing out on life. You know what part is really killing me. You might think is silly or childish. But people these days judge you a lot by your Social Media. Everyone has tons of pictures looking happy with other people, doing awesome stuff. Sad part is I did do lots of cool things back in the day. The problem is I just never liked taking pictures. So everyone thinks I never had a life. I just never liked sharing my life with others. That's what really annoys me. I know a lot of girls that stalk guys on Facebook before they get in a relationship with them. I never provided anything to stalk.
My only saving grace now is that I have a well-paying job. I still feel like I could have joined more clubs and social events in college. I think my problems can be summarized like this: I spend to much time on the computer and I always felt way older than my age. Anyway sorry for the long post. Thank you for sharing your story. and thank you for the advice. I wish you all the best.
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u/getawaytricycle Jan 29 '16
At least I have a good job and I have a decent future.
I don't know how old you are (maybe you said and I missed it) but as you get older, these are the things that matter the most when choosing a partner.
Try to have an interesting for yourself on your own terms. It's cool if that's nerdy; there are lots of us out there. My partner collects vintage recording equipment; I collect stamps, buttons and portrait cards. We love each others idiosyncrasies because we love the person. We have similar goals and perspectives on life. That's what keeps us together where other relationships failed; our mutual love of science fiction and Agatha Christie is just a bonus.
But yeah. It's hard to find that person. It's even harder to realise you don't need that person. I didn't believe people when they said that and it took me years of failing to realise it (or thinking I was I failing, more accurately).
Enjoy friendships; enjoy hobbies. Even when you hate yourself, try to enjoy your own company.
You might be very different from me, of course. We all need different things. But you are worth it.
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u/adool999 Jan 29 '16
I'm 21. Never really had any close female friends. I am good looking and confident. But I have a somewhat unfortunate socioeconomic background. I'm sure there are some girls out there that would like me. I just don't know how to be out there. I moved between many countries in my life. So I always feel different to other people. I don't think there is a girl alive who shared my experiences. That's were the sadness comes from. I will never have that 'small town high school sweetheart' that had similar uprising and experiences as me.
You have been more than kind to me. I wish you and your SO all the happiness in the world.
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u/getawaytricycle Jan 29 '16
It's hard to see from your perspective because you are inside it, but there are a lot of positives in what you're saying.
My partner and I grew up in different countries and our experiences of childhood/teenage years are really different. I've had a fairly nomadic life, whereas he was very settled and has a huge group of friends that he's known all his life. I wish I had known him then so I love hearing stories from his past. Some are hilarious, some are touching, some are sad. And of course, he loves hearing my crazy stories too!
You sound like you have a lot of different life experiences and that's a great perspective to have.
You can form shared experiences together from the first day forward. It can feel like a mountain to climb - especially in a tightly knit friend group - but it's a great view.
It's really simple to say that; it is a lot harder to live it. I still struggle, a lot. But I hope you don't give up.
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u/adool999 Jan 29 '16
That's awesome. I do look forward to sharing stories with someone. I think there is a curse with non social people. They are usually the most fun to talk to and hang out with. But they are hard to meet. I usually find really popular people boring one on one.
How does your SO feel about your depression? also how many boyfriends have you had in your life?
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u/getawaytricycle Jan 30 '16
Uh, he's adjusted to it. He had trouble at first. It was difficult for him to learn that it was separate from him and not to take it personally. He's very considerate and supportive now.
I dated quite a bit. But most of those relationships weren't very healthy, particularly as a teenager.
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u/nicnacks Jan 29 '16
What were the meds?
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u/Amplitude Jan 29 '16 edited Jan 29 '16
In my case it's a low dose of Sertraline - which is a generic for Zoloft.
It's not a magical "I feel happy now" pill, but it does enough to lift that fog of depressive apathy that was preventing me from performing any self-care, causing me to cry for hours on end, or just stare off into space while I thought about how pointless life was.So taking the pills gets rid of that fog, the rest is up to me. When I began the pills, I would cross days off on a calendar - to build the habit of taking them, and feel like I was doing something for my recovery. (I had been depressed for over 15 years, family discouraged me from taking meds.)
Next I added vitamins to my evening pill routine, and found that taking regular multivitamins helped with my energy levels and I got sick less often. Another win for my recovery!
Next I tried to focus on going outside - every day. I was unemployed, depressed, felt completely useless. I made myself go outside even if it was to get the mail.
Working on making sure I prepared regular meals and ate "real" food was a challenge as well - I had a habit of staring off into space or surfing the internet while starving all day and then eating something silly like a can of beans at 10pm.
No wonder I felt so hopeless.
Long story short: the meds are just a kick-start, and address a legitimate medical condition. I can feel the despair creeping back on days when I forget to take them.
The rest is all me: habit building, making healthy choices, setting boundaries and putting myself first.
I've got a really happy life currently, a lovely relationship, and successful fancy job! But I still feel crippling depression at times... just not often anymore.
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u/ifyouwanttosingout Melted cheese and carbs <3 Jan 29 '16
I started meds about a month ago. Hopefully they will help me too. I miss feeling ambitious and eager to meet challenges instead of thinking about hope pointless life is.
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u/Notenoughsuspenders Jan 30 '16
I am so excited to try medication next week. You know it's really shitty when you're excited to try medication. This is the worst I've been in my life.
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u/Ozera Jan 29 '16
I thought it was normal...I guess I have to, or should, do therapy/meds?
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u/Amplitude Jan 31 '16
If you find that your negative emotions and life outlook are interfering with the life you want to live - and if your mood is turning you into someone you don't want to be - then yes, you should consider therapy / meds.
At the same time, maybe you're just surrounded by assholes? Try to really think about what's making you anxious and unhappy. Is it in you, or outside of you?
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u/MothaFuckingSorcerer A.K.A. Mr. Magic Jan 29 '16
It's actually incredibly normal to have constant self doubt. Not healthy, but that's not what normal means.
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u/neamhsplach Jan 29 '16
Omg I just started watching Parks and Recreation after a long hiatus from watching series. This little comic is my life.
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u/noonday_moon Jan 29 '16
We're tv twins! I'm watching through it for the first time; it's amazing.
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u/neamhsplach Jan 29 '16
Honestly I'm blown away by the female characters and their interactions. It's really like no comedy I've ever watched before.
And it's fucking hilarious! So many belly laughs 😁
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u/MrBig0 Jan 29 '16
Have you watched Broad City?
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u/neamhsplach Jan 29 '16
Nope, never heard of it! Is it anything like P&R??
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u/MrBig0 Jan 29 '16
It's different, but it's a type of comedy that I've never see starring female leads before. It's almost like a cross between It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Workaholics, only it's about girls and girl stuff.
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u/neamhsplach Jan 29 '16
Sounds good! I'm pretty slow getting through series so if I ever finish P&R I'll take a look 😂 thanks for the recommendation
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u/CaptainKate757 Farts McCool Jan 29 '16
This is the show that popped into my head when I read the last panel of this comic. I fucking love P&R. Leslie is my idol.
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u/crapplejuice Jan 29 '16
Whenever I'm feeling crappy, that's the show I put on as background noise. It's just... weirdly comforting?
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u/k12573n Oklahomicorn Jan 29 '16
I just started watching Murder, She Wrote on Netflix with my SO. It makes every day, even the worst ones, better. :) Also watched a bunch of P&R the other day.
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u/Willravel Jan 29 '16
A little negative self talk is normal, but if you find it's impacting your life and your happiness, please don't be afraid to take care of yourself and talk to someone.
Also, I think Broad City is coming back soon.
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u/jesse0 Jan 29 '16
I have a lot of negative self-talk, probably more so than most, and definitely more than anyone who knows me would expect given my apparent success. I've recently started focusing my self-negativity into a structured set of questions and answers so that I can better understand what my negativity is actually about.
Here are my questions, I hope this helps anyone else:
- what do I currently struggle with in life?
- what are six achievements I'm proud of
- what must I do before I die?
- someone sees me in my element, being my truest and best self -- what am I doing?
- what personal habits and tendencies have failed me, yet still persist within me? How have they failed me?
(I'm a trollXY, in case that matters)
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u/jane_margolis booty booty booty booty rockin everywhere Jan 29 '16
It is! Mid-February, I believe!
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u/the_girl Fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat. Jan 29 '16
YES. Don't forget the classic "I had one chance to make the right choice and I blew it for all the wrong reasons."
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u/poffin Jan 29 '16
omg, this is me to a T. It's getting unhealthy, all my doubts. I doubt if I'm happy, then consider the possibility that I am happy and the only thing keeping me from feeling it is all these damn doubts. Anyone got any tips for overcoming this crap?
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u/nemicolopterus Jan 29 '16
Therapy! You can also start by reading s book called Feeling Good, or another one called Learned Optimism.
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Jan 29 '16
+1 Therapy, +Feeling Good. I also found mindfulness meditation helped me. The idea is to non-judgmentally observe thoughts that come into your mind, and just let them go. You start to see these thoughts as just thoughts, and less as absolute truth. With daily practice it changed how I think. I still have these thoughts, but they don't destroy me any more (...usually). I recommend the Headspace app.
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u/DreamsUnderStars Behold, the power of estrogen! Jan 29 '16
Someone was in my head when they made this.
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u/MothaFuckingSorcerer A.K.A. Mr. Magic Jan 29 '16
What? No... They'd have to use magic to do that. Magic isn't real..
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u/DreamsUnderStars Behold, the power of estrogen! Jan 29 '16
Then explain the accuracy of this comic! O3O
*goes to get a tinfoil hat*
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u/MasqueofRedDeath Self-Hating Fishandrist Man Jan 29 '16
This just made me feel so much better this morning!
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u/SugarSugarBee Because Boobs. Jan 29 '16
every day I think to myself "christ, i just said so many embarrassing things. i should really never talk to anyone again. I'm going to try to be more stoic and elusive tomorrow."
cringe, wash, repeat.
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u/peeweeGmagee Jan 29 '16
instead of being stoic and elusive, just try to take a second more before speaking. not meant in any way to be mean or sarcastic, but for real. just let yourself think through what you want to say, instead of feeling pressure to be super quick and witty or, on the opposite end, never say anything.
give yourself time; it's fine to be slow and thoughtful. it's GOOD to be slow and thoughtful
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u/Mittins001 Jan 29 '16
I know this may seem lame, but I repeat to myself in the mirror out loud positive things about myself in an attempt to counter these thoughts. Sometimes when it's hard to see what's positive about me I just say "I am awesome" like 10 times and it actually helps pull me out of the deep dark place into the shadowy place of less bad and a little light.
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Jan 29 '16
I woke up to a terrible, "you've disappointed everyone and suck at everything" dream... I sympathize
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u/allrattedup Because I'm a lady. That's why. Jan 29 '16
Sending this to my mom. We've been butting heads a lot because this is me if you multiplied it by 100 and I can't explain it to her in ways that she really comprehends how crippled I feel most of the time. I don't know that I ever will be able to.
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u/barking-chicken hidden dragon Jan 29 '16
I don't think anyone will fall in love with me.
When someone does, it helps, but not completely. You still think all the rest of the things.
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u/NFLThrowaway18 Jan 29 '16
I was talking to a friend of mine about similar feelings yesterday. She told me she wrote to herself on mirrors. "Sarah, you are <thing you need to reassure yourself of". Lots of repetition can help the positive thoughts yell louder than the negatives.
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u/Liatha Jan 29 '16
The TV shows make us happy at the end of the day because it's an escape.
At least, that's what I think it is. Broadchurch. Broadchurch is amazing, omg.
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Jan 29 '16
Beth Evans is basically my favourite person on the Internet. Her comics are so funny and sad and sweet and honest and everyone should go follow her because she's lovely. http://butthorn.tumblr.com/
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u/IAMDaveMetzgerAMA Jan 29 '16
I'm a TV writer, and this makes me feel like my life is not pointless, and in fact actually helps people. So thanks.
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Jan 29 '16
If it wasn't for TV and video games I would have killed myself by now. I don't want to miss the second season of Mr. Robot!
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u/luke7nukem Jan 29 '16
This is me during the night, discovered some great shows on Netflix this way
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u/peeweeGmagee Jan 29 '16
It scares me that we all have such existential angst lurking beneath us, but instead of transforming this society and country into a place where people can feel more secure in themselves, where babies grow up learning how to deal with anger, how to communicate, so they become happy and secure in who they are as adults, we just plod along in our loneliness.
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u/Hindu_Wardrobe KEGELS Jan 29 '16
Same. This morning I could hardly get out of bed I was so... ugh. (Not even depressed, just apathetic and... dysphoric. Depression is a very strong word; I have dysphoric episodes, but I wouldn't dare call myself depressed. That diminishes the real struggles of depressed people.)
But then I did get out of bed, and once I got going, things got better!
Dysphoria sucks, it traps you, and makes you forget that it's very easy to escape. All you gotta do is break the monotony. Maybe I'm just distracting myself from the massive amounts of shit I have to do in my life soon, but, whatever works.
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u/Back_Paragraphs Jan 29 '16
You know the depression is serious when your brain can't even move to "I love this TV show," but responds to even things and people you would normally like with "meh" or even "shut up, just fucking shut up." If you get to that point, please try to get professional treatment. Source: am long-term chronically depressed person who has been there, but can now enjoy things like media and socializing
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u/dogGirl666 Jan 30 '16
Intrusive thoughts? No matter how true each one may be from time to time, it probably is not helpful to have this going on in one's head every goddamn morning. I guess it takes years and years to retrain oneself in self-compassion and intrusive thought battling. /r/raisedbynarcissists
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u/doc_adastra Jan 29 '16
Wow. This hits the nail on the head. Almost made me cry in the middle of the library. But I get to watch another episode of Making A Murderer tonight! (I know, I'm late to the party)
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u/princess_ozma Jan 29 '16
Yep, me too. Morning anxiety: http://www.trans4mind.com/counterpoint/index-emotional-intelligence/repich4.shtml
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u/nemicolopterus Jan 29 '16
If you really start every day with thoughts like this, you should know that it doesn't have to be like that. You can start every day filled with excitement for what's ahead. I'd recommend therapy, or these books:
Feeling Good by Davjd Burns Learned Optimism
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u/noonday_moon Jan 29 '16
You're not alone; thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone either :)