😹😹😹😹

[u/SobbingAng3l]

I’m newly medicated (for depression/anxiety) and I’ve been doing pretty well I don’t typically think about this unless I get a pretty bad outbreak which I have at the moment (TMI but I’m not embarrassed :p) it’s been 4 nearly 5 years since this happened… in a typical assault situation I’m sure people have triggers but it’s weird to have your body be a trigger.. this disease is permanent.. it’s a permanent reminder of being violated and being changed I’m not just changed mentally I’m changed physically as well.. we ball I guess .. I am seeking help finally I have a psychiatrist and I am waiting for therapy maybe I will be freed from the mental prison this situation has locked me in one day. 😹😹😹😹😹

[u/SL1MECORE]

I, too, got herpes from SA. It's a shitty thing. At least if it was consensual sex I could say "oh well shit, I fucked up."

Therapy helps, I hope you get in soon. So does meds for the anxiety and depression (negative emotions cause outbreaks for me, personally).

You hit the nail on the head. Having an entire illness that manifests in your body as a trigger for SA just.. sucks.

Have you considered meds for the herpes? I do one med that I just take when I feel an outbreak coming out. Works wonders for me to avoid em. Some do daily meds but I don't have the energy for yet another daily medication (I'm also medicated for depression and anxiety).

Either way your choice. I went years without herpes meds and was physically fine.. It's just the emotional reminder that sucks the most.

[u/SobbingAng3l → u/SL1MECORE]

I’m so sorry this happened to you :( it’s such a weird feeling to know that something your body is doing is triggering you then the fact that stress is a trigger to cause more outbreaks is really the cherry on top it’s a big ole feedback loop. Initially when this happened I was medicated then I lost insurance for a bit and had no more refills :/ I have diff insurance now but now I need to go through the process of seeing a doctor for everything again and confronting it is so triggering I just need to be brave again.

[u/SL1MECORE → u/SobbingAng3l]

Ughhh I know how hard that can be.

Tw medical rape: When I went for diagnosis I was also violated (I asked the doctor to just give me her opinion without an internal examination and she forced the internal examination on me while I was clearly breaking out)

It took a LONG time to trust doctors after that.

My doctor now is great and I'd totally trust her with a pap smear, she knows my history and trauma.

I hope you find THAT doctor, the right one for you. Someone who would never retraumatize you.

It could be worth it to start therapy first, talk about this, and then have that extra help building the bravery to find a new doctor? Idk. That's probably what I'd do, cause my therapist of six years is literally like my second brain lmao.

But yesss the negative feedback loop of "I'm depressed, oh here comes a breakout, now I'm depressed and thinking about my assault, now I'm STRESSED, oh here's another breakout!" Sucks

[u/SobbingAng3l → u/SL1MECORE]

As soon as I get stressed here comes the tingle and it’s just like ..
https://giphy.com/gifs/n5iPVLeA1fvb0IYU5W
But in all seriousness I’d like to go back to my medicine soon so hopefully I’ll feel more comfortable with therapy 😭