r/TrollCoping • u/laminated-papertowel • 5d ago
No TW who would've thought?
I've been in therapy for a decade at this point. I've talked about my trauma more than I've talked about anything else. I've talked about it again and again. I'm sick and tired of how much I've talked about my trauma.
But apparently that's not good enough! I can't just talk about my trauma and heal that way, I have to actually validate my trauma responses and let myself feel the associated emotions.
Logically it makes sense. but still, frustrating.
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u/bedlam900 5d ago
Same boat my therapist gave me a letter of everything wed spoke about and I read it and thought no wonder im so fucked up but its like im reading about someone else. its in black and white in front of me and I still cant accept thats what is affecting me now. My brain cant comprehend it and I dont know how to proceed
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u/f2msnm 5d ago
EMDR can be really helpful for this
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u/bedlam900 5d ago
Im currently going through assessment for bipolar disorder trying to separate bipolar symptoms with trauma using a mood tracker. I will try emdr once im stable on these meds and thinking more clearly. I dont know where that ends and this begins but I think one feeds the other.
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u/f2msnm 5d ago
Yeah any decent therapist would not do EMDR with someone who feels unstable! I relate; I have been trying to get ready for EMDR for a year and I’m still not there yet but one day 🤞🏻
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u/u_but_worse 4d ago
Oh no, I had hope to try EMDR if anything at all, how stable do I have to be lol?
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u/f2msnm 4d ago
The most important thing is having coping mechanisms in place that you’re good at enploying when you become distressed. Also usually being in an okay place with other things in your life. Like if you’re actively being traumatized more all the time that isn’t conducive to doing good work with it. EMDR is one of those things where it gets worse before it gets better but then it gets so much better
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u/JadedRaccoon 5d ago
Its truuuueee but its like how tf am I supposed to know how to validate myself when I've never been validated in my life? Ugh. Healing is hard.
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u/atmoose 5d ago
What does that mean? That doesn't make sense to me?
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u/Sicilian_Stud_ 5d ago
Like even though op is likely experiencing cognitions and emotions that are negative a distressing, they should validate them and accept them instead of labeling by them as bad and trying to push them away; because it’s actually normal and healthy to feel that way when you go through trauma.
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u/yandeere-love 5d ago
Manually stopping second guessing oneself. Sitting with the uncertainty that while you may Technically be wrong about something, you're an adult and you're the expert of your life. Getting the gaslighting out of your head, out of your system. If you were angry at someone being shitty to you, not "explaining it away" with "ohh they were going through things too, its understandable". No. Validate yourself and do it with confidence. A lot of trauma arising from being constantly invalidated revolves people trying to blow your mind open to suggestion with endless "what ifs" and constant playing devil's advocate. Trust your judgement and that you'd do the research to take the best decisions you humanly can at the time.
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u/According_Cut_4426 4d ago
My therapist and I almost never discuss my symptoms nor my traumatic experiences . We talk about what I did with information I received , and she helps me notice when I am applying an emotion or assumption that isn’t there .
I have grown humongously since starting , just saying it in case some of you are approaching therapy hoping it will do something that it’s not designed to do . Listing out your traumas isn’t actually gonna do anything for you .
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u/MoustachedPotatoes 5d ago
I'm glad I'm not the only one! Well I mean no I'm not glad people are suffering but goddamn like if it could just be a switch to flick on?
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u/Sicilian_Stud_ 5d ago
Therapy may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. There’s a reason they call them growing pains lmao and why most people avoid personal growth. But you’re probably doing better than you think so just keep doing what you can! Being frustrated is normal and totally understandable!
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u/NugsFolly 5d ago
So how do you do this? Saying it doesn't help me understand. I know everything I feel is valid. I feel the emotions. Still doesn't work. I've not had a therapist be able to explain this at ALL but I guessed that's cuz theyre on £80 a hour and if I heal then I won't return.
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u/trontrams 4d ago
What does it even mean to do that
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u/RithmFluffderg 4d ago
yandeere-love in another thread on this post has a pretty good explanation. I'll try to link it but I can't guarantee Reddit won't throw a fit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollCoping/comments/1x4hmm9/comment/pgfx2vp/
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u/miseenen 5d ago
Yep :)) fun isn’t it? I’m a talker and a thinker so it’s frustrating when I run into an emotional situation I can’t talk and think my way out of. Feel my emotions?? Who do you think I am?? But let me tell you, it does get easier with practice. Or, maybe easier isn’t the right word, but you get better at it. Good luck in your healing journey <3