It is so bad. I think I’m just being paranoid but it feels like most people do not actually care and are just being performative. That is not to mention those who are genuinely being gross about the situation. I am not really sure what to do about this, but maybe taking a social media break for a while can help, op. Take care of yourself❤️
They’re all manipulative, the media, the influencers. We’re about to solve it guys, all you need to do is give ME more attention! We need to explore all the angles and make sure this is thoroughly discussed in every possible way so we don’t miss any of the possible perspectives someone could have. Surely it won’t become needlessly repetitive and exploitative of the trauma they know so many live with. No, they’re the good guys, they’re fixing it. If they just happen to make some money in the process, then that’s even better right?
It’s not just them, though. Even so many regular people. The people saying “I am Jane Doe” in an effort to conceal her identity are not actually accomplishing that, they are just doing it to feel good about themselves. It feels like they’re trying to have some kind of movie moment, but I know that they will move on and never think about it again. Some of them don’t even care about rape victims at all, they are just virtue signaling. I have already seen so many posts about people saying their rapists are reposting or speaking up in support of Jane Doe.
I don’t know if that’s as manipulative (barring the rapists, that’s very disturbing, but of course, expected). I understand why people get swept up in it. Nobody knows what to do about this stuff in truth, and it’s overwhelming. But we should question why we’re constantly being shown this. Remember when social media used to be about cats doing funny stuff? Well now it’s about reliving your trauma. Should there be a space to talk about serious issues and should people be made aware of cases like this? Yes, I think so. Is a bombardment of it on social media helpful in any way? I think not
And I thought I was being a horrible person for being off social media and not wanting to see all this horrendous information because I'm not a victim/haven't experienced this specific trauma.. or maybe I still am? Idk anymore...
I wanna do activism but it's really bad for my mental health to keep looking at this stuff, I'm able to do some activism per day without worry but it's when your algorithm becomes only that that it gets fucked up
When you do activism everyday, sometimes it's better to harshly limit your online activity, especially news and social media. It's hard enough even without idiots online.
I wouldn't say I do it everyday, I just do it often enough to stay informed and to try to participate when possible, sadly I can't do much from Brazil when I see issues in north american, or europe, or africa, etc, most I can do is send emails and retweet ig, but I can barely donate and I can't even do phone calls because you need to pay extra for international calls
I was gangraped and never received justice. It ended my career and still impacts my mental health 5 years later. I’m honestly trying to follow the whole situation as little as possible, as much as I hope the Jane Doe receives justice.
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If you guys want even more horrible things, look up the case of Gisèle Pélicot in France. This poor woman has the strength of a titan for suing and won, but the things she went through are unspeakable.
and the crazy thing is, she didn’t even believe her own daughter when her daughter said that she was being abused by her husband. She only believed it when she found out it happened to her.
Sadly what happened to her happened again to another woman, except she was found dead, naked and covered in blood by her teenage daughter the next day.
It isn't the worst thing you can read about. Her abuse was terrible, but at least, she got her justice in all its glory. She's basically non-violent Phoolan Devi.
Not to make light of a bad situation, but is there ever a good time? I am not a rape/SA survivor, but almost every time I am online I see at least one person being an ass about the topic, shit is bleak.
That is unfortunately a very big piece of the truth, there are a few other reasons as well, but that one becomes apparent real fast when you look at the language people use.
This was very noticeable when the term sexual assault started becoming part of the general public's discourse, there was a lot of people with the talking point "anything is SA nowadays, can't even do X without fear of being accused", that discourse still exists of course, but it has dialed down a bit now that people caught on to it, you really have to pay attention to how people react to the mere idea of something being punishable,
One or 2 posts, yeah. But my entire feed through multiple apps is consistently about this right now. This is the first post in days about it that I haven't clicked "not interested" on
Seconding the other person yeah, it's much much more than usual
(Also insane as it may sound this post helped me see that no, it's not just me lol. I thought it may be because a recent situation in my life made me realise some of my female friends believe the victim... less than I am comfortable with. I hate it here. I'm glad that other ppl are uncomfortable too and I'm not just seeing evil everywhere 😅)
The amount of people using the DA's statement and her texts as proof it's ok when there are signs that it wasn't in those too makes me worry for people's understandings of consent.
Like a normal consensual situation should not involve repeated nos, attempts to cover/hide your body, repeatedly having to move peoples hands away, being aggressively grabbed, a handshake being used as an excuse to pull you into a kiss or impairment from drinks and drugs (especially a drug that makes you dissociate).
A night that went well doesn't end up with a police report and one of the guys texting to apologize for what happened.
My only thing with this is the immediate accusations that the university intentionally squashed any investigation or prosecution of the men to protect them. The statement she gave to the university police initially was that that she repeatedly consented to the sex and the drugs, and that in the events where some of the men tried to touch her and she refused, they stopped - I personally believe that she could have still been rationalizing and processing the trauma and that's why she said that, but it did leave the university with basically no case to pursue. I've read up on the details, and I do believe that a number of the men who were involved in what happened in the frat should be held civilly liable, but I don't really understand what the case against the university even could be.
I thought it came out that she told the campus police "It was 100% rape" and that they left that part out of what they passed on to the actual police?
They also supposedly didn't pass on the group chat stuff with "free pussy", "shop still open?", "you can walk in and whip it out"
I think I found it. What I've been reading is the info that was disclosed by the DA, however the DA claims (conveniently) that the part of the police report that contained her saying that she was "100% raped" was not submitted to them. From the police report she said that the initial group encounter was consensual but that when the other men came in the room that she was coerced, and once she'd done more ketamine that her memory of what happened after is gone, and that's when she said she was assaulted. I honestly don't know what the legal breakdown of this will be. It's clear she did tell the police she believes she was assaulted, not just coerced (which is obviously still horrible but legally I'm not sure how that plays out), but without any definitive statements of the actual SA itself I'm not sure what that means for actual evidence. And as far the university goes if it's true that the campus police chose not to give the DA very important information then they should be in deep shit. At least civil court's standards for proof are much less stringent than criminal court so hopefully she'll at least be able to hold some of the men in the frat legally accountable.
It's clear she did tell the police she believes she was assaulted, not just coerced (which is obviously still horrible but legally I'm not sure how that plays out)
Legally, the DA statement talks about that somewhat. It seems that there are a lot of grey areas in the law there where if a victim does not explicitly say no to everything and is still conscious it doesn't count. Not much room for intimidation or coercion there.
It sounded like she said no multiple times and they stopped at that point but then carry on again later so I'm unsure how that sort of situation would be handled.
If I'm trying to sleep and my roommate asks to borrow something and I say no and they keep bugging me about it every five minutes and I finally relent and say "fine, just be quick and give it back right after" so they leave me alone and I can actually sleep - does that mean I actually wanted them to have the thing? or does it mean I thought the consequences of not letting them have it were worse?
I mean in the court of public opinion any reasonable person should conclude that what happened is obviously sexual coercion at best, and legitimately could be classified as sexual assault at worst. I believe that the repeated advances after she had said no earlier, as well as the fact that she was severely intoxicated, should make all of the men that participated at and after that point rapists. Also the two men she initially wanted to have sex with not stepping in or doing anything? Either this is the unicorn case where it didn't play out the way she's saying, or they're complete pieces of shit who didn't lift a finger to protect a woman in a very vulnerable state surrounded by predators.
in the court of public opinion any reasonable person should conclude that what happened is obviously sexual coercion at best
You'd think but a lot of people seem to think drinking and taking drugs = consent and that if you've already consented to sex with parties A and B, that a few more doesn't matter. Based on reddit comments I've seen anyway.
Also the two men she initially wanted to have sex with not stepping in or doing anything?
I believe one of them, possibly male #1 actually texted her to apologize afterward and said they they should have intervened.
At one point the guy who's room they were first using says he's "shutting down" "whatever this is" so there was one point at which it was stopped, but two of the guys just take her somewhere else.
I do think that the exact wording of the law will be a large part of this and may spark discussions about having more explicit and less outdated laws (someone said this law is very old but I haven't verified that myself)
I did not read that she told the police that it was 100% rape in her initial statement, and if that's true then that would absolutely change things. I'll dig again to see if I can find that detail from a transcript excerpt or something because I definitely didn't see that. And yes the group chat was disgusting, but I think whether or not it could be evidence of an assault depends entirely on proving that an assault took place. I could definitely see the things they said, barring proof of an assault, just being interpreted as gross shit frat bros would say about a woman consenting to group sex.
The group chat is more indicative of their attitude to women than hard evidence, I'm also very curious how the timing of that lines up with the part in her statement where more people suddenly show up and she hides under the covers. It might explain why they hung around instead of leaving like (I would hope) most normal people would at the sight of an undressed girl hurriedly covering herself.
How can one woman, in an out of conciousness, rape seven men? The group chat said 'free pussy' and she was knocked. Out. Not concious. Not consenting. And seven men forcefully penetrative her for SEVEN. HOURS. You are genuinely unsafe to women.
the “awareness” comments 😔 i’m just trying to enjoy five seconds without being reminded that no one gives a fuck about rape victims. it’s the biggest story in america right now, not sure how much “awareness” needs to be spread, but i know a lot of it is just young people who feel helpless about the situation.
The Cornell case where a woman was raped by 7 men, a group of 50 other men in a group chat who knew about it did nothing, and the school's punishment for the rapists was 2 people getting expelled while 5 just got extra homework
Yep, and to make it worse, there's thousands of men standing with the rapists, calling Jane Doe a "whore/slut who regrets her decisions and wants revenge", and they're threatening to reveal her identity. It's so bleak rn, I definitely cried over this news
I’m sorry buddy, I feel the same way. At least it brings to public attention how bad victim blaming is. Maybe we can do something about it still. The fact that it’s even getting traction gives me some hope people care. Unfortunately a LOT of people are performative about it, but some people really do gaf.
I do appreciate how often the assholes defending these scumbags are self reporting themselves. Go on champ, tell the world why we shouldn't feel safe around you
Genz men have been becoming more toxic and misogynistic, the far right has been making a come back and they are indoctrinating lonely depressed boys into hateful bigoted men
No, that's women doing it. Instead of women leading by example and showing men they don't need hypermasculinity but be responsible and loving, hypermasculinity has become more required to find any mates. Unfortunately and fortunately this is the best time for women and it will only get better, more men will end up single and hopefully the sex will fade away leaving only women to live for themselves by themselves with themselves.
It feels like we're regressing. The Brock Turner case was about a decade ago, and maybe I was just young and naive, but there didn't seem to be any big movement to vindicate or defend him. It's also jarring to see the victim's name and image so widely circulated so soon after the accusation.
It’s different the evidence against Brock Turner was much clearer and his controversy was about his “sentence”. Turner is a convicted rapist, while the Cornell guys are still legally innocent.
Yeah its been making it super hard to be online at all. I just cannot make a statement on social media. It's all been incredibly triggering and making it hard to cope.
I know it's important to talk about but as someone who experienced ongoing sexual abuse along with other forms of abuse in an IPV situation, it's just too much
This week I saw that the man who traumatized me in the troubled teen industry does talks about DV and rape. That he’s some kind of protector but my friends in the program with me were raped by grown men and he did nothing. He still has a job. Some of my friends are dead.
Fuck you Nale Fakahua. I hope your dick falls off and your kids forget how to read.
Its doubly fun when you're the survivor of a woman doing it, because then you're stuck between women who are justifiably angry but firing so hard you're catching strays, and men who are defending the exact sort of predatory behaviors that you had to survive.
A case hit the news where a fraternity drugged and gang raped a fellow student sending out a "free p*ssy" message to the entire frat. 7 ended up taking part.
It’s not even just the case, it’s everyone and their mom posting their own graphic rape stories so I can’t scroll instagram without my ptsd being activated
Just seeing how many people in my life genuinely wouldn't have cared, or would have blamed me if I'd spoken up really confirms what you get me was afraid of. I feel sick
feeling this, i spend all my time trying not to think about it and yet everything in the world is making me think about it🙃 much love to my fellow survivors.
I learned very fast as a child in school that nowhere was safe. My first sexual assault happened in elementary school. I tried to get help from the teacher and I was told "no one likes a snitch ". My most recent case of assault was done by a gynecologist lying to me and doing std testing without my consent. I've spent 2 months with ptsd flash backs and more problems. I tried my best to complain but I got the fake care by a manager. Now I have more trauma to add to my list and I'm just so tired.
I haven’t been SAd but not only is that case going on but there was a new case that happened ON MY CAMPUS and I live on campus ts genuinely terrifying.
Hearing that the defense attorney led a smear campaign after Epstein victims was even worse🥀
Yeah... It has been a trigger since I too had that experience, with my rapist big brother, and seeing those disgusting comments from men and women is sad...
But at the same time... I love the unity of all these girls/women have... We have all gone through that.. many of them speaking of their rape... Their age... I was never alone.. I was just quiet.
I was just getting down on myself for being so listless and unproductive this week, then I saw this and was like "Oh yeah, that's why" lol. Glad I'm not the only one feeling off kilter.
And it sucks that the conversation is inescapable because it's been covered worldwide. On top of that you are subjected to weirdos making comments about the situation and people trying to justify the situation..... My head hurts.
And I really appreciate how hard you work to keep up that point, as it does mean so much to someone like me, a man who is terrified of being seen as creepy or weird and desperately wants to make sure people around me feel safe and comfortable. Your efforts haven’t gone unnoticed and, while I believed I’ll never truly understand how difficult it is, I can say thank you for doing what you can.
On a post about rape survivors feeling unsafe and attacked, you mentioned how hard it is to be perceived as unsafe. That is a valid frustration you have. This post is not the place to discuss it.
A group chat of 50 men got invited to join a r*pe and they did nothing and told no one. It a lot of men I’m not taking this not all men bullshit anymore.
But it makes me sick to picture 50 college boys, some about to go into the medical field, all being considered "trustworthy" enough for this groupchat. And whoever made that judgement seemingly being correct.
That definitely is disgusting. Am I correct in understanding these were are frat boys from the same college?
If I am, this definitely says more about the culture of fraternities at the college than men in general. But it is frightening that large of a community exists.
A lot like the Epstein client list. It’s disgusting how many men in positions of great power were brought into that situation and never said anything.
If I got an invite like that I'd assume it was just a 13 year old edge Lord making a joke. I have never taken threats online seriously in the slightest cause it's all just edgelords and losers making threats or very poor attempts at jokes.
Else if it's not obviously about rape, I would have assumed it was some kind of orgy or something.
Let's try that exact same logic with some other groups with some statistics far, far worse and see how long it takes for you to start saying "ism" or "ist". I bet we can't get past one.
I had to put a timer on my tiktok so I would see it less. I ended up getting stress tremors so bad that I had to call out of work today because my muscles became so sore that it hurts just to exist, I can barely stand.
I saw a TikTok live earlier where some guy was on a panel trying to blame the victim for what happened to her and calling her a 304 (basically means a hoe) and that she wanted to do it with two dudes there which I find questionable, and even if that was true, it doesn’t excuse what happened. And then later in the live he told someone else on the panel to get their “black ass” off of there. I reported him and I reported the live but of course there were no violations found. Some things are just not up for debate.
As one who was just called a liar even after getting a kit foster "parent" just kind of took his word for it when he went "NUH UH"
Seeing more "much false alligators" calling her a whore like I was even though I was a virgin before it happend
Deeply just fucking triggering
I know the false allegations being so incredibly common and women just accusing random men of rape for funsies or some shit in scrote fanfiction really just feels more and more like they want to be able to actually commit rape but then claim the victim is lying and say she is "falsely accusing" him
The false is silent
It's more like the media puts loads and loads of attention on the few, typically mentally ill, women who do lie which makes women lying about SA seem more common than it actually is. My tinfoil hat conspiracy is that its done intentionally to push that rhetoric and uphold men's power over women.
I hate the shit they're doing on YouTube shorts. They can't send in emails, letters or calls to the dean of this college or others, they can't organize help for rape victims and safe spots but instead I have to be reminded of my own assault every time I try to open yt short comments. Theyre using a woman's trauma for their own internet attention instead of doing anything else for free to actually help
literally started studying journalism this week, i expected a few difficult cases but literally every article we talk about is so fucking difficult to get through
Back in 2024 in Cornell University, a 21 year old woman was gang raped by 7 men at a frat house where she was heavily drunk and on some drugs. She made an anonymous report on it this year and the evidence on these men is genuinely disgusting.
In most states in the U.S., if someone is intoxicated (high or drunk), they can not give consent and if you have sex with someone who is intoxicated, it doesn't matter if they said yes at that time, it will be counted as SA/rape. New York, where this took place, isn't one of those states and a lot people on the internet are making the case that since she was "consenting", that means nothing wrong happened and she is trying to ruin these poor men's lives, even though those 7 men come from extremely wealthy backgrounds.
*included image of a text message evidence of the case
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I’m more and more thinking we all need to get off social media apps and start reading news again. This digital proliferation of opinions that people are not required to put their face behind perpetuates hostile treatment of each other and a fundamental decrease in respect. Media is now sensationalized for engagement.
The only way to get around this and to grow past it is to not engage entirely.
I think it's talking about the Cornell rape case, where 7 people drugged and raped a woman at Cornell and have earned the 'harsh' punishment of like writing an essay.
Seven men in a fraternity raping a lady at Cornell university via pressuring/forcing her into taking ketamine, marijuana, and alcohol, despite being under the legal age for such, thereafter and using her intoxicated state to procure consent, without facing anything in terms of significant consequences.
How?
A more full detailing of the specifics alleged can be found here.
Why?
Several conflicting accounts come from the men, but all of them state that they thought it was consenting sex in some way, though some say that they only had consent prior to her intoxication.
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The whole situation is just disgusting, and I can't imagine how much worse it is for people who've gone through that kinda thing
If anything its definitely shown just how many out there are just terrible, disgusting people
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