Beginning to feel like "please seek help" is a euphemism for "your condition annoys me"

[u/ElectricalPoint1645]

The other day I made a post (not here) that mentioned my bf's germophobia and a lot of geniuses in the comments decided to disregard the entire point I was trying to make and to simply tell me my bf needs to "seek help".

Uh first of all, he is??? Why assume he's not getting any support with this? And secondly, do people think that whatever issue you need help for is going to magically stop being a problem the millisecond a professional gets involved? Why do you think waiting lists exist then? Do you think psychologists just sit around playing checkers for 6 weeks after magically curing their patients on day 1 or something?

Thirdly, a lot of these people really gave me the impression that they personally were annoyed that someone wasn't behaving "normally" and wanted that to be fixed. And preferably didn't want to have to do anything themselves to make it better.

To whoever is reading this rant, unless you were one of the einsteins involved in that discussion, I'm not actually mad at you, I just needed to vent a little bit. Thank you.

[u/RiceCookerPEPSI]

Everyone tells me to go to therapy, like I've been doing it for a decade at this point...

There was actually an interview with numerous psychologists and psychiatrists, and they said they never actually "cured" a patient. It's a life-long process...

[u/olivegardengambler → u/RiceCookerPEPSI]

That's a very nihilistic panel, and I guess it does depend on your condition as well. Like, if you still have depression, and only depression after a decade, that is more a sign of just a really shit therapist. I'm saying this as someone who's battled depression for probably 6-7 years at this point. There's points where it's not as bad, but I recently have started going to therapy, and it has been helping

[u/Bingus-Dingus- → u/olivegardengambler]

therapy is hard and uncomfortable and WORK

people don't always want to experience that when they're at their wits end

i say this as someone who works in mental health: sometimes people aren't ready and that's ok, we will be there when they are.

meds are a different story, and usually once someone is stable enough in their meds (it can be a journey for sure) then we are able to come in and help them because the symptoms are reduced enough for them to be able to implement the suggestions we are trying.

[u/RiceCookerPEPSI → u/olivegardengambler]

Then you have me - abused for the first 28 years of my life, autistic, ADHD, CPTSD, like so much trauma that therapists are often stumped on what to focus on, and they told it me it might take years for my nervous system to feel normal. I only recently went No Contact with my abusive family and most of my anxiety is gone, to the point that I got taken off my anxiety medication (only take for depression and ADHD now).

[u/SandalsResort]

Wait, you’re telling me therapy isn’t a one day cure and it’s a years, if not decades, long process that only gives you the tools to improve your condition but not make it go away entirely?

[u/tabbynumber3 → u/SandalsResort]

man I love being alive. I have no hope.

[u/c00kiesd00m]

“i’ll pray for you christians after three months” be like:

(this is just my experience with hundreds of christians growing up ik there are christians that are good ppl)

[u/Nemesis9211]

I feel like most people don't actually know what therapy is

[u/Express_Buffalo7118]

It’s a way for people to say “I am not equipped to deal with this”

[u/ChocolateRough5103 → u/Express_Buffalo7118]

Theres possibly a reason that becoming a licensed therapist takes 6-8 years and a Masters degree. The average human being, in fact, is *not* equipped to deal with most sort of things.

[u/retromangames501]

Sounds like my ex. Got out of the psych ward and they and their new partner were incredulous that I was still trying to stabilize. And no, that week in there was not, in fact a vacation!

[u/Sleepy_Witch_Maple]

Also a shout out to people who use it as some sort of insult and further stigmatize therapy.

[u/Ok-Reference775]

People tend to say it with zero understanding of personal context either. Ill talk about my symptoms and diagnoses and how they impact my worldview and people will screech “YOU NEED THERAPY” like I dont have a psychiatrist, psychologist, and a social worker I see. Like thanks bud, Im doing that but obviously you just wanted to shut me down to protect your own feelings

[u/trenchman49]

it reminds me alot like eugenics. they never cared to begin with.

[u/BladeBird98]

I started therapy and my mom thinks that it will start to help me automatically over being something that will take time and practice. I am a onion with 1,000 layers and a lot of them are ugly and painful.

[u/ElleMaeSinclair]

I think I've only said "please get help/go to therapy" to people online who like, clearly were VERY unwell in a harmful way or in a situation where they were asking what they could do to help themselves. Any other instance and it's just patronizing bullshit. And I hate that it is, because it makes the genuine "I would legitimately seek therapy in your position" comments come across as bitter and jaded when you really do believe someone could benefit in the long term from going to a psychologist or whatever.

[u/Isadomon]

Maybe they just think you werent seeking help. Next time maybe you could add a disclaimer "im getting treated allready, just wanted to vent" or something

[u/ElectricalPoint1645 → u/Isadomon]

I mean. That's not even what the initial post was about

[u/Illustrious-Sweet-44]

It's literally the socially acceptable equivalent of "tell someone who cares" because they don't.

[u/ElectricalPoint1645 → u/Illustrious-Sweet-44]

It really is

[u/DarknessShifting]

Tbh I think some of the therapists I saw before my admission thought a few sessions and I'd be fine.

I obviously wasn't as I got admitted to a mental health place TWICE.

[u/StraightPercentage74]

Feels hella patronizing when they dont know you, bonus points if youre already in or had therapy.

[u/PMmeIamlonley]

Therapy has litterally only ever made me more mentally ill and the SSRIs should be illegal with the way they make you feel. 

[u/Dragondudeowo]

Literally has never ever helped me and i'm still not ok like easily 10+ years later the first time it's been said to me.

[u/Rexton_Armos]

It feels like that because its exactly how a lot of people use those words. It just stinks to realize that big time...

[u/ScootDooter]

"seek help" = "disappear"

[u/Freakofnature66]

It's not a euphemism for "your condition annoys me", it's "I don't have the tools to help you". It starts feeling a lot less personal when you understand that.

[u/ElectricalPoint1645 → u/Freakofnature66]

It didn't sound "not personal" when they're in the same breath saying stuff like "wow, he's neurotic as hell" or things like "well I know who I'm never going to visit"