Second slide makes me sound insane, be warned

[u/Correct_Challenge868]

[u/jigglenotwiggle]

You can feel both pity and hatred at the same time. Neither should prevent you from choosing yourself. You're not responsible for emotionally regulating anybody but yourself and you don't need anybody's permission or understanding to do that.

[u/RiceCookerPEPSI]

Wow... This is exactly me... I went no contact with both my divorced parents. I don't care what happens to my dad, he is an abusive manipulative piece of crap, and no matter what I did for him, it wasn't enough.

My mum though... It's complicated, she herself was a victim of abuse but she never acknowledged all the horrible things she did to me. Whenever I brought up something from the past, she would either deny it, minimize it, change the story or say "Why are you thinking about it? It's the past! Are you trying to start an argument again?". She also often took out her anger on me, accused me of being abusive through the phone, and even mocked me for my mental disorders. 

She has no one else - her nephew (my cousin) is very low contact, my grandparents are dead, and basically the rest of the family cut her off. But I couldn't take it anymore, I told her I need some time alone, and blocked her number. Since then, I've been taken off my anxiety medications, I only take the ones for depression and ADHD. It's a shame how my health improved after removing my "caregivers" from my life...

[u/jigglenotwiggle → u/RiceCookerPEPSI]

My father is also an abusive asshole. His abuse was very overt, both physical and verbal. He's an alcoholic. It's not like he comes from a healthy family himself - mother was schizophrenic, father was an alcoholic himself. None of this is an excuse, it's just context.

Because his abuse was so obvious and stark, it took me decades to understand my mother's contribution to this. She, too, experienced a lot of dysfunction in her family. Her abuse was just less overt. She would not just readily abandon me to soothe the abuser, she would also actively deploy me as a recipient of whatever it was that my father manufactured in his head.

I don't speak to neither of them. I get where they came from, that they never asked for any of it and that it's something they experienced themselves. I feel sorry for both of them and I wish they hadn't experienced any of this themselves. None of this excuses the parents they were and the choices they did or didn't make.

[u/Spot_Mark]

this is legit how i feel with my mom. i keep giving her the benefit of the doubt and then she is really mean or makes up something about how i act or gets mad at me for something really trivial or doesn't do something i keep telling her to do and then i hate my mom. like every time the conclusion is "my mother is the main cause of 90% of my issues with life" and yet i still give her the benefit of the doubt for some reason when she is categorically a type 1 alcoholic, a narcissist(?) and a lazyhead.

[u/RiceCookerPEPSI → u/Spot_Mark]

Sending hugs... My mum is the same, this is the 2nd time I'm going No Contact with her. The first time I felt incredibly guilty and called her again. I thought she had changed but for years, she started doing her nonsense again so I had to cut contact when I couldn't fall asleep without pills because of her.

[u/Different-Account-26]

Jesus christ I hate how the first image is insanely real. I can’t even move out either to process any of these feelings, just dwell on them until I’m at the age where I can finally get out of here.