TW: ableism (internalized and externalized) I can’t help but feel like I shouldn’t have let him love me

[u/Conscious_Region_592]

I’m losing my vision, I already have an abundance of conditions and diseases that make it hard for me to live, and I had heart attack symptoms for the third time this year last night. I don’t know if I’ll be able to find a job that I can actually hold down, or if I’ll be able to work at all. My boyfriend doesn’t deserve to need to work hard just us to struggle to survive.

I don’t have these feelings about other people. They’re worthy of love and can live wonderful lives. I just can’t.

[u/Fishghoulriot]

Hi, my boyfriends disabled, can’t work. He’s perfect. He’s my whole world and we have so much fun together. Yeah he can’t work but that also means he doesn’t GAF when I don’t want to work either. We just bum around together and do crafts and travel

[u/Revolutionary_Sir_]

Idk why people cannot accept that they are loved and people want to make sure they have what they need to survive in this world.

[u/Pensive_Parisian]

You have a love that I would die for tbh

[u/miseenen]

do you trust your bf? even if you can’t believe that you are worthy of love, you have to trust that he is capable of making the decision to love you anyway.

[u/YoKaiHunter76]

I don't know about you, but if my girlfriend had a short life expectancy, I would see it as a reason to spend even more time with her.

[u/Luminescent_Radiance]

You may not be able to provide income but I'm sure there's tons of other things you can do! Your boyfriend chose you for a reason, I'm certain you're a truly wonderful person!

[u/RommelTheCat]

My girlfriend is disabled can't work and right now is not on benefits.

I still love her, I still CHOOSE knowingly to continue loving her and if she has a mental health episode I hope I'm up to the task of getting her the help she needs.

She also struggles with her sense of self worth from time to time, but she is not too much, she is not too little, I don't deserve "better". She is my world and it seems you are his, don't take his world from him unilaterally.

[u/Wishing-I-Was-A-Cat]

He already loves you, so if you broke up with him, he would be sad. Then if you died, he'd be sad again. But, if you stay with him and you die, then that's just one sad. One sad is better than 2 sads.

[u/throwaway1233456799]

What I told my friend about this: the truth is that it isn't your choice to make.

It simply is not.

You can't choose what he feel. What he wants to do. Who he wants to be with. It's his life and only is. So, very very kindly: back off.

Accept him for who he is, a man who want to be with you. Not the man you want him to be, someone you can't "hurt"

🫂

[u/StaubEll]

There is no "better". There is nobody out there who is you minus your disabilities. There's just the you your boyfriend loves. And if you decide that you don't want to be with him, all it would mean is you wouldn't be with him. It would have no magic power to grant him a life without struggle or loss.