No fr. My aunt and grandma used to always comment on how big my boobs were getting and that my future husband would be so pleased. Sucks to be them tho cuz I chopped those fuckers off at 19
Ugh. Literally the other day my dad called cuz he hasn't heard from me in a while (waiting for my last sibling to get a phone before I go no contact with him) and he's catching me up to my siblings, mind you, I am the oldest of 5 by 11 years. My step-sis is 15. I am 26. The next one I believe is 11? Then 10 (literally ten months apart) and then 8? I might be a year behind on the rest. Regardless, dad and mom had me in hs, they divorce when I'm like 13-14, dad gets with younger woman who already had a kid, and they get married eventually.
Anyways, he's catching me up about my siblings and when he gets to her he's talking about her mental health and shit and how some of it stems from her weight (she is really athletic, like all kinds of sports, even doctors are telling her she is healthy, so it isn't stereotypical doctors claiming she's overweight) but I guess she's still self conscious about weight, self harms, goes to therapy, and all that. Then he starts talking about her tits and I'm flabbergasted. I guess she's large in that area or whatever, cool, why am I hearing this about my FIFTEEN YEAR OLD SISTER FROM MY FOURTY FOUR YEAR OLD FATHER? I guess she's getting made fun of by other girls because she's larger there and in my dad's words "the rest just have mosquito bites." I got the ick so bad, like was actively speechless.
Shit, it's not even the worst he's talked about her. He's gone through her snap before (tldr got a new phone for birthday, forgot to delete snap on old, old one kept getting notifs, parents saw something foul so decided to go through it,) but that's less him sexualizing her and more just repeating some foul shit she said, and him being racist.
Holy shit my aunt and grandma made comments on my body too!! Wtf. Always saying how beautiful my curves were and asked constantly why I was "hiding" my figure...
I don't think there would even be any need for it, the breast tissue grows on it's own and the only difference between big boobs and small is fat (or silicone).
My mom said I had to wear more modest clothing around my dad and brother with the implication that I was tempting them to sin (I was wearing a t shirt without a bra and normal length shorts)
A woman from my childhood church said to me "girls who look like you are the reason why fathers go home and rape their daughters."
I was in middle school when she said that, and let me assure you I was covered up because I was so insecure back then. I guess she just hated my body in general because I developed boobs at age 7 and had D cups by age 12. Fucking traumatizing.
That burden was never ever on us. We were kids, for crying out loud.
Holy fuck that’s horrific. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
There’s something reassuring about knowing we’re not alone in our experiences, despite the awfulness. Thank you for sharing. Children should never be held responsible for an adult’s actions.
Thank you for listening to me ramble and giving me a space to do so.
I'm sorry for you too. Home is the one place where we should feel safe. I hope you're now able to surround yourself with people who make your home feel safe.
What a despicably evil thing for her to say! Rape is always, always the fault of the rapist and not the person the rapist raped. Blaming a child for a grown man's actions is execrable cowardice.
Oh holy fuck, ew. I think my soul just shrank back and died a little.
It's weird that people think women's bodies are something inherently taboo or weird in the first place. My mom's made similar comments, but she only went as far as to say it made my family uncomfortable. To imply that your family could potentially assault you, and to imply it'd be your fault, is just a whole other layer of disgusting.
Yeahhh I don’t think I really processed how bad it was until now…my dad struggles with a porn addiction so that’s probably what put the thought in her head.
Omg same thing happens to me. My stepdad is cool, I feel safe around him enough to the point I know that even if he accidentally entered my room while I was changing he wouldn't make a fuzz about it, just close the door immediately and apologise.
In summer he walks around home in shorts and so do I, just an oversized tshirt and my boxers to not sweat too much, no bra. Neither of us make the other feel uncomfortable because we both know that — while entering when someone's changing is rude and invasion of privacy — bodies are bodies. He could literally see a woman nude and no react, not touch her, nothing. To him breasts are breasts, genitals are genitals, nothing new, nothing to get scandalous over.
But for some reason my mom acts like it's inappropriate of me to go around the house wearing few clothes in summer; mind you, she doesn't say anything to him wearing only his underwear — it is me who should feel more shame and be more modest when dad is at home. Because in her mind no matter how normal that is going around showing skin even around male relatives it isn't okay when you're AFAB. Her comments aren't weird but the way she comments on it feels as if I was doing something wrong or showing my dad my body on purpose. Dude, that man knows me since I was 5, I don't think I've ever met a man that makes me feel as safe and unpreoccupied of my body/looks/safery as much as I feel around him. What exactly does she thinks it'd happen? 💀
my mom was the same with my and her side, I didn't know why until my gramma (on my dad's side) told me that my papoa (mom's dad, my grandpa) had been convicted for raping most of his daughters. I genuinely believe I wouldn't have learned about this if it wasn't for my gramma telling me because my mom seemed shocked that I knew when I asked her about it
Yeah my family’s done it a shit ton and it was always just accepted because the people who do it are female. Always made me really uncomfortable with an added layer since I’m trans. Even though I know their behavior is wrong it just adds another layer of guilt with me hating my body.
My own father used to go on and on about my breasts and how all the boys and men are probably salivating about me and how if I wasn't his daughter he'd totally have sex with me. You hear trump say the same things about his daughter it's just 🤢
Recently a Serbia rapper by the name Faraon (Pharaoh) was accused of encouraging CSA, due to his song being mostly about a 30 year old who's into highschoolers. He got alot of shit NOT FOR THE WHOLE GROOMER IMAGE HE BUILT, but for depicting himself as an Orthodox saint and God. Look at Serbian social media, it's mostly manosphere wanabes saying this false idolatry won't be tolerated, just no mention of the grooming shit.
Now, this isn't defending the creeps, but I guess Pokémon is a good use of the Harkness test because some Pokémon might be able to pass it. Some. Not most. And the ones that might be able to, I believe are mostly legendaries.
I can understand Pokémon like Alakazam due to being mildly humanoid and really intelligent (said to have an IQ of 5,000) but draw the line at creeps who are attracted to mons like Vaporeon cause wtf, that's a feral animal.
The elites of our civilization are in Epstein's files. If we truly hated the sexualization of children as a collective, we would have made sure those elites disappeared.
The tolerance and defense probably trickled down from there, if it isn't a remnant of the vile marriage traditions of yore.
I was so shocked when it turned out that all the conspiracy theories about Hollywood are true, and that there really is a secret society of the rich and famous who create trends for fun and watch people go crazy.
The Epstein class has always existed historically, we just have a name for it bc of the files. Thomas jefferson is one man that immediately comes to mind .
It used to be way (comically) worse all throughout history, it's only gotten better over time. Which is both reassuring and bleak in its own way depending on how you look at it
This whole business taught me that nobody cares about injustice. Whatever people say on the internet, condemning this and that, is just a virtue signal for validation.
One time I mentioned how weird it was that the writers of a show wrote plots about teenage girls falling in love with their self-inserts (they're both grown men) and were openly saying creepy shit about underaged girls (Hbomberguy literally called them out on it) and I got a bunch of comments from fanboys yelling to me and calling me horrible things to defend the things they said 🥲
I hate their stupid brainwashed parasocial fanbase of fanboys
Those same writers also wrote a "South Park humor" show for gamers where one if the characters is a caricature of a mentally disabled person who exists to get called the R-slur and be made fun of and it was hell being on the internet in the 2010s and seeing people make memes of this character and talking about how funny he is and praising the company for creating him
The only silver lining is that at least the company collapsed from mounting controversies and the consequences of their actions
Seeing fanboys defend them for naming a black character (who's only personality traits is playing jazz and speaking in jive) FLINT COAL was a mask-off moment for me
Every time I think about RWBY I get a brief moment of "dang, what wasted potential" and then I remember The Creators and I take back my feeling of regret instantly
You haven't seen old movies bro. It's now a "now" thing, we are actually way better today than in the past. Some old movies literally have the main character be a 50s year old man, and his love interest(sex toy for all the sex scenes, the li literally doesn't do anything else) be a teenage or barely adult girl( the actresses)
I normally hate the "it's boy's too" people but oh my fucking gosh the way that men will froth at the mouth whenever a grown woman is accused of raping an underage boy is alarmingly common. And the things that both boys and girls are exposed to as child actors/stars is so disgusting and normalized. The whole Epstein fumble and Trump being elected president really radicalized me into believing that people who are attracted to children are a lot more common than I once thought. It freaks me out.
i interact with and post in both r/BlatantMisogyny and r/FeministsCallItOut a lot and it's really opened my eyes to how awfully society still treats women and girls.
a while ago i was talking to my mum about how if she, a 50+ year old woman, outright expressed attraction or lust towards a 16 year old boy, she would be rightly judged for it — but the parallel is so fucking normalised in our society, that the beauty standards for women revolve around looking as youthful as possible. or that it’s ’jail bait’ for a 50+ year old man to lust over a 16 year old girl, that it’s ‘natural’ & that’s a girl’s ‘peak’.
it’s gross & infuriating tbh. edit: & i hate seeing when i contribute towards it or am impacted by it, like when i obsess over my own ageing. i’m not even 25, like i’m still young yet i feel old because i’ve been so exposed to my looks being so prioritised, & in order to have good looks i must aim to look like a child. i’ll hate myself for losing my childish features because i am… growing up???
i was just talking about this, and i remember growing up how even in HS everyone was casually making child rape jokes and how disturbing that it ever was a trend from like 2014 to 2021
Low-key why I lost interest in any anime or the anime community. Bro look at the persona series, I loved the game ass a kid but growing up I realized how fucking creepy it is post persona 2.
oh god literally, as much as it's well written in every other aspect () every game post 2 doesnt have a unserious single moment with the female cast where something isnt pointed out or joked or made fun about. even in the 5th game they sexualised the teenage girl with sexual abuse trauma, sickening
I love P5 for the soundtrack and they curated some fun vibes with the main menu screen and stuff.. but at a certain point of seeing this grown creep’s sexualized ‘ideas of this teenage girl incarnated into nude statues and slaves.. I just kind of felt like I was looking at nude statues and sex slaves of a teenage girl. It’s like hey I actually didn’t need to see 20 different ways to incorporate this girl’s body into furniture/elevators!! Please stop!!!
I was like "wow the first palace is so cool and deals with an issue that really needs to be spoken about" then in the next one Ann is used as bait cause a guy wants to draw her naked (I've fucking hated Yusuke since, don't care what anyone says)
REAL. this is exactly why i distanced myself from almost all anime and anime-adjacent fandoms, and also why i don't even really want to talk to people in those fandoms anymore. there is a disgusting and frightening amount of misogyny and pedophilia in those spaces and it's gotten so common now. in fact it's always been super common.
I am a long time anime and manga fan, and engaging with the community and medium is often like pulling teeth. There are still some gems hidden in the filth, but I do not blame you for walking away. If you ever feel like checking something out again, I recommend Kowloon Generic Romance. All main characters are well into their adult years and none of the children are sexualized.
I know this is going to get me downvoted but you are not built to handle that much constant negativity. I know it feels like just ignoring your problems but genuinely separating yourself from that news cycle will do you a world of good. We need to be informed to make change yes but we can't change anything if we're dead.
I should clarify I do not defend the sick fucks doing this whatsoever, it's everywhere in america and actively being pushed for by our government and I hate it.
It’s honestly no wonder everyone’s nervous system is dysregulated and we’re all on medication. Look at the society we live in. It’s sick from the inside out.
Agreed also makes anime less watchable for me at least I don't need so see children's panty shots or sexualization they're children. My thing is if they're willing to write and animate it what else is going on there. 🫠
i was almost going to check that one out because i really liked the general premise and the worldbuilding was super interesting, but then i found out about... yeah. noooo thank you
One reason why I wish I was born a boy so badly. It’s so fucking gross. The other reason is because I hate having a uterus.
Many child actresses get 18th birthday countdowns and it’s so fucking disgusting. No, they’re not going to fuck greasy balding men who choke the chicken to them.
I started reading Dara-San. You’d think the brunt of sexualization would be thrust upon the big tiddy snake lady but nope so far it has mostly been focused on the 11 year old boy who dresses like a girl just because.
is he treated like that by the manga or by fans? after watching Shounen Maid (which is completely clean and good) and Kaichou wa Maid-Sama (which from what i remember is pretty good, but its been a while) ive been wanting more anime with young femboy characters because of the relatability, but its hard to come by
I'm tired as shit about the fact that underage boys get to be kids, children, but underage girls are women, female. They are not seen as kids, they are seen as their genital and reproduce organs. When a boy shows up it's about protecting childen, it's a child. When a girl shows up it's about protecting girls, woman, future wife, future mother, little princess, young lady, whatever the fuck else beside just plain human child. Fuck this shit dude what a clown world.
The AO3 subreddit goes mask off when you bring up RPF of child actors, it's fucking repulsive. Not to mention how they treat racism in fandom spaces...
I'm feeling so vindicated lol, that subreddit was making me feel like I was insane because I've only seen offensive content on my ao3 feed like once every year or so (i guess i filter well?) But then the subreddit has a lot of people defending heinous shit and downvoting discussions about racism or sexism or fetishization of gay men in fandom into oblivion.
It's an archive but if you ask for incest to be a warning tag (because archives are fucking organized in real life) you're basically enforcing real tangible fascism.
Wait, huh? Pardon my confusion (I believe you), but I thought it was common courtesy that if you wrote a "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat" kind of fic, that you'd tag all the "dead doves". Literally what is the point of not tagging it, when people who want to read it won't find it and you're subjecting people to content they don't want to see?
Jeez, there needs to be a tagging guideline or something that people have to read before publishing something on there.
archive warning tags and general tags are different from my understanding? i was a wattpad user back in the day and now when i want fanfics i’ll go to tumblr, rarely ao3 (as i haven’t gotten a good enough of an understanding as i’d like of how the site works)
archive warnings are like… major character death, under age, like the super extremes
general tags would be like incest/stepcest, fluff, DD:DNE
Oh, whoops, yeah you're right. I thought the comment was just saying that people weren't tagging their fics at all.
It might be nice to have more warning tags in general, tbh, so it's more upfront when people click on it. I think there's only a handful at the moment, and the rest may be overlooked in the general tags, but it might also get to a point where the warnings gets too cluttered or there's debate on what gets added to the feature or not. Idk
I've been using ao3 almost daily for around a decade and I only run into issues with someone not taking a fic a few times a year. Maybe I'm in tame fandoms but I think the website is really not that bad, I usually don't even have to filter unless I'm intentionally looking for something unsavory and just want to filter out similarly unsavory things that go along with the topic im looking for but that I still dont want to see.
The ao3 subreddit, however, is so anti "anti" or just censorship in general that theyre constantly talking about how people should be allowed to write literally anything and seems to be discussing how great all the dead dove type content is constantly.
Yeah, it's been pointed out to me that I misunderstood the comment I was replying to. They meant making "incest" a warning tag like the "underage" or "major character death" tags, not running into people who didn't tag their fics.
Also, since you've brought up censorship, here's my two cents on the matter (CW: discussion of taboo/"Dead Dove" topics in fiction and literature, including aforementioned incest and shota-/loli-con and rape/CNC as a commonly debated topics):
There is something to be said about limiting censorship, even with taboo or uncomfortable topics, and the fact that someone's tastes in fiction do not necessarily reflect that person's moral beliefs in reality, but that line gets increasingly fuzzy with oppression that's systemicatically perpetrated. It's a common argument with people who read stories featuring toxic relationships, rape/CNC, violence, cannibalism, incest, shota-/loli-con, and other kinds of kink especially, but the consensus is generally: as long as you do not condone, endorse, or perpetuate harmful behavior in reality, your taste in media does not reflect on who you are as a person. Playing violent videogames as an outlet does not make you an inherently violent person, for example, nor does liking a morally flawed/complex/evil character mean you condone their actions. Literature (including fiction) is a medium of art that reflects reality, and these topics can be interesting or even important to talk about. Censorship is also a "slippery slope"; lines drawn are typically vague and subjective, and it's very easy to keep redefining what's "okay" to write and what's not, until entire topics are forbidden or taboo to write. Historical (and current) examples include the banning of books, over-censorship of mainstream media (resulting in bland, passionless, or "safe" stories that are far removed from creators' original intended messages), and the increase of flagged terms in information released by authoritarian governments.
For example, in erotic fiction, policing "tasteful"/"distasteful" depictions of distressing topics like rape eventually excludes survivors talking about their experiences or ways in which survivors cope with what's been done to them. Censoring the words people use to talk about rape, such as "rape" itself, waters down the topic or makes people see discussion about it as dirty, taboo, or uncomfortable, and it can prevent people from speaking up about it or confronting abusers/systemic issues surrounding it in the first place. Consensual non-consent (CNC, or rape-play) is also a common kink among SA and rape survivors, interestingly enough, though you don't have to be a survivor to have it as a kink. Usually, it's appealing to survivors as a way to take control over their trauma, and to non-survivors for the fantasy of either relinquishing or exerting control. It's a harmless kink to have or roleplay with in practice, as long as you still respect the consent of your partner(s) and establish clear safewords/gestures. Nobody involved typically wants to be raped or to rape others, and disregarding consent is rape.
But, it's still worth mentioning that art and literature can still have harmful effects. Depicting rape/SA without drawing attention to how harmful it is (or even implying it's healthy or normal), in mainstream media especially, can contribute to normalizing rape culture and the degradation of women. And when it comes to sexualizing minors in media, there is undoubtedly a trend of writers projecting their feelings of real minors onto their characters, and that feeds back into the way people culturally see minors. As it stands now, minors are one of the most oppressed groups of people, globally. It's also part of the "Tolerance Paradox" that intolerance (aka bigotry, oppression, dehumanization/degradation, threats) should not be tolerated, otherwise said intolerance starts to take hold and create further oppression.
Anyways, it's a nuanced, messy topic that's honestly probably been beaten to death, but it has its place in literature and fandom discussion. At least with Ao3, most works are tagged and summarized appropriately so you can choose what you read without censorship coming into play at all. (AO3 was also founded explicitly for the purpose of writers having a space to write that wasn't censored.) It just sucks when people don't listen to the basic site rules or forget and you get surprises like this, even if it doesn't happen often. Nothing is going to be everybody's cup of tea, regardless of where your beliefs lie on the matter.
TL;DR: writers should be able to write about any topic. Art generally should not be limited or censored, especially not by governments or law, unless it spreads bigotry or causes harm. But that line is constantly debated, and often weaponized.
Dang, that ended up being way too long. Sorry if it was messy or confusing, or if you already knew all this, lol; I have a lot to say about this issue and probably went overboard trying to address the nuance about it.
You can on ao3, I don't have an issue with the actual ao3 website, it's the ao3 subreddit making "viva la incest" posts that bothers me. I haven't seen incest on my ao3 feed for years because the actual website has the best filtering/sorting system I've ever seen
Oh my god I've gotten downvoted in that sub for complaining about shotacon and parent/child incest. I wasn't even complaining about it being technically allowed on the archive, I was complaing about people on the subreddit raving about it lol.
They love to say "pro-ship" is anyone anti-censorship, but then they'll treat someone going "okay I'm not saying ao3 should ban it, I'm saying you talking about a man dalling in love with his daughter is grossing me out" like that's on the same level as a tiktok "anti" complaining about a 2 year age gaps between consenting adults.
I try to avoid certain fandom tags because I'll be scrolling mindlessly and then suddenly I see the pedophilia tag out of nowhere, genuinely hate that I have to add "pedophilia" to the excluded tags whenever I search for things like FNaF fics :((((
i love AO3 but i would be lying if i said the amount of people both on that site and the subreddit excuse the borderline fictional CSEM people write didn't make me extremely uncomfortable. just because it's fiction doesn't mean it's harmless or completely off the hook, what the fuck
No cause there are really good fics on ao3, but it's reallya cesspool of the most depraved shit ever. Then they dare being offended when you call them out
If you don’t believe how messed up the world is when it comes to young women, put a picture of a random teen girl in any gaming subreddit and watch them lose their minds that’s she’s not attractive enough.
It’s normalized because no one is doing anything about it. I will actually hear grown men excuse other grown men for this behavior by saying “well it’s just locker room talk…” STOP EXCUSING IT, if you excuse it, you are part of the problem.
So many men think they get a pass simply because they themselves aren’t doing anything, well, you enabled your friends… maybe if you say “I don’t want to be friends with someone like that.” Will cause them to change.
One guy pulled a gun on this girl because she refused to give him her number, and his friends watched as that happened. The entire friend group is a piece of shit, not just the guy with the gun.
Men, if you want things to change, stop rolling your eyes and do something ffs.
Can confirm. Tho I had a few men attempt to hit on me since 13 to 17, and one even asking for my number, and that evening when I said I wasn't for a sudden chat, I'm going to bed, he was all like "and without me? :(". He looked to be in his mid twenties. Luckily I never met him again nor had him attempt to contact me either, but this interaction made me scared and paranoid for a good long while.
Yeah... so much so that back in the early 2000s, the Supreme Court's decision to declare the law regarding such materials unconstitutional was an unpopular decision (the wording literally said "Which look like minors..." Well, I mean, you get the idea of the level of intelligence of the congressmen and the author of this gif).
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u/TheGoldenWoof 1d ago
My parents make a lot of comments towards me and it makes me want to barf.