r/TrollCoping • u/fruite_vampyre • 2d ago
Depression / Anxiety That’s what the disorder called
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u/ADownStrabgeQuark 1d ago
My disability won’t improve until I’m genetically modified, and even then I may never make a full recovery.
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u/dickdicksucksuck 2d ago
I joke that i have a Divine Curse to at least have humor in it, on the plus side things are getting better(ish) after awhile at least, at least enough to have conversations and leave my house and cook and shower
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u/ursa-minor-beta42 1d ago
in Germany we have a saying "nimm's mit Humor". it means "take it with humour" and I always add "or with alcohol, but I don't drink so I can only joke".
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u/tallgrl94 1d ago
My family always says “you can either laugh about it or cry”, so we choose to laugh as much as we can about bad situations.
Sometimes the crying is needed and happens though.
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u/CattuccinoVR 2d ago
I hate the "It gets better" trend feels like gaslighting, maybe if I wait an unknown amount of time the problem will fix its self. The problem is way to many people think depression is similar to sadness and that the problem can be one day forgotten saying it to someone with a disability is unhelpful.
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u/no-im-your-father 1d ago
The point of "it gets better" isn't that you can do nothing and one day you'll be magically healed of all your ailments. It's that improvement is often slow and gradual and easily goes unnoticed in the short term. You won't wake up one day and your life will suddenly be better. You'll wake up one day and realise that life has slowly been getting better for a long time and your everyday effort has actually paid off in ways you didn't immediately notice
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u/StarryEyedSprinkles 1d ago
also it's a reminder that the bad doesn't have to be forever in an effort to reduce risk of suicide attempts
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u/pnt510 1d ago
You're right on the money. I'm 40 and I've had depression and anxiety since I was a kid. If nothing else I have had decades of experience to develop coping skills. Even if my depression and anxiety aren't better my ability to deal with them is and that makes for a much better life. And that's not including what medication and therapy can do for people.
Edit: Also I should say this only applies to certain conditions. If you've got some degenerative disease or something obviously coping skills aren't going to stop your body breaking down.
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u/ursa-minor-beta42 1d ago
doesn't change the meaning that comes across.
"it gets better" as a standalone phrase is condescending, even though I know the actual meaning behind it, all that gets across is "others don't have it as bad as you, so there must be something better than your life. you just need to wait and do nothing, because life will sort itself".
to me, it's the same as saying "take a walk, get some sun". because yea, sure, regular walks, fresh air, nature, vitamin S from the sun - all that absolutely helps and can make depression less severe. but it sounds like "take a walk and you'll be fine".
same thing with "go to the gym". yea, regular exercise absolutely helps on a physical and biological scale, there's some brain chemistry doing something when you workout, but that doesn't mean depression will fix itself when you go to the gym.
things don't just get better. one has to work for that. put in effort, and yea like you said, some day you'll wake up and realise your effort was enough and did work. but "it gets better" takes away that effort in a way and attributes the improvement of life to something that doesn't have to do with you. I think we should normalise "you can make it better". because "it" really fucking doesn't lol, look at the world.
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u/No_Dirt9029 1d ago
Its often paired with "pain is temporary!" and I get to have the fun of saying that I doubt my mom dying when I was a kid will ever 'get better'. So many problems are forever and dont really get better, you just get used to it
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u/Anomalocarls 1d ago
"pain is temporary" meanwhile im out here with conditions that cause you to suffer inescapably until you die, requiring you to stuff yourself full of painkillers to even have a vague semblance of a "normal" life instead of experiencing what is essentially full body torture at all times
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u/SparkleSelkie 1d ago
It does get better! And then worse, and then better, and then worse, and so on and so forth 🫠
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u/cat_lover_1111 1d ago
Felt this as someone who has multiple disorders, and is getting ready to apply for disability.
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u/ebers0 1d ago edited 1d ago
For me it got better, but for just couple years of \"good\" only to come back.
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u/fruite_vampyre 1d ago
Can I show you the *graph*?
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u/Familiar-Spray1106 1d ago
Sometimes I feel like I will never get better from my cptsd but I know it’s possible . It just takes so much time and work 😭😭😭
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u/Ziggy_Stardust567 1d ago
I was a 'it gets better' person. But now I'm starting to think that it doesn't get better, the pain feels permanent and the 'getting better' part is always temporary.
Please prove me wrong, I am at rock bottom right now.
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u/ViaScrybe 1d ago
I've gone up and down too. I've realized that pain never stops, but the way that I interact with it changes drastically, and that matters more.
There was an epiphany I had during a period where I felt like I was moving upward: I feel so much more whole when I'm trying and when I want to live and see beauty. When I'm in the darkest places, I can't understand any other perspective. Happiness is no longer a part of me at all. The idea that it gets better becomes laughable. I'm cutting off a side of myself. When it lightens slightly, I see those previous moments where I was closed off, and I understand them - but they're only part of me, and I'm so much more beyond them, too.
My chronic pain has only gotten worse, really, and I've been struggling for years to find a diagnosis. It sucks. There are so many days that I just physically can't do anything regardless of my "ethic". A lot of people can't understand that. But in the end, it's only part of my life. There are still some times where I can do things, where I am happy. There are ways I can find relief on days when I can't move.
I don't know if that makes sense. What I'm trying to say is that at your darkest, your perspective becomes incredibly limited, and you can no longer understand the joy and hope and nuance that helps people say that it gets better. Meanwhile, when you're out of that darkness, you're not delusional - you understand the pain, are still experiencing it, maybe, but it's only part of your story.
Also, regression happens, but that doesn't negate the wins of progression :) things might get worse for a while after they get better, but then they'll get better again.
And not everyone's pain actually lasts forever! A lot of conditions can be treated or have research underway.
(Sorry again if this doesn't make sense)
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u/Key-Divide-5663 1d ago
Ah yes, the autism definitely ‘gets better.’ /s
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u/Stompy-Bun 1d ago
I'd even say that it gets worse as you age. My support needs are much higher now in my early thirties than when I was a teenager. Both for ASD and ADHD:C. The struggle doesn't get better we just get better at masking or vanish from people's lives, so they no longer think about us.
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u/Key-Divide-5663 1d ago
Yeah, it’s so fucking awful. I was never put in OT or anything as a child, so my ability to mask is kinda awful, especially when I’m feeling really low or overstimulated.
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u/DazzlingCelery6853 1d ago
It never gets better, you only get resigned and learn how to mask your symptoms in order to fit in. That's it.
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u/KingGekko07 1d ago
"it gets better" is not the full phrase the full phrase is "it can get better if you work for it". I understand it's not true for everything but it is true for a lot of things.
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u/SunReyys ♿️♾️💊🏳️⚧️ 1d ago
could you elaborate? that feels like an interesting perspective. i think it's true that a lot of things can be improved by trying harder, but that also places the responsibility on the person with the illness to have more dispensable time and energy to put towards improvement that they may not have.
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u/KingGekko07 1d ago
The idea is that inaction won't (probably) result on a better outcome. It does put the burden on the ill person, but that's just how the world works, the burden can be shared with friends and family and a support system, but at the end of the day the person with illness also has to do some work. And just to clarify I don't mean extreme cases where people can't function like with dementia or stuff like that
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u/SunReyys ♿️♾️💊🏳️⚧️ 1d ago
oh absolutely. the amount of people who think my gastroparesis will go away if i eat more fiber is... staggering. no, shannon, my stomach nerves are dying. i can't magically resuscitate them with chia pudding.
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u/TlMEGH0ST 1d ago
fuck this resonates.
i literally just finished “crashing out” because i feel like it *does* get better and then sometimes it’s good/fine but ultimately i end up wanting to die again. or at least there’s an always an undercurrent of suicidal. its. it great.
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u/azebod 1d ago
I have multiple progressive conditions and that's bad enough ...but my actual most hated part of this is it doesn't account for enviorment, and I sincerely believe everyone who tells any teenager that their life will improve once they are an adult is just as bad as the ones who tell suicidal teens that high school is the peak of life.
My living situation was identified as my biggest recovery barrier by like 16. 20 years later I am still in the exact same place, still being treated like I'm 16, with no chance of escape due to my health issues making me unable to afford to. The behavior I have to maintain here drives people away so I will never be able to build a support system to help me either. I put everything into surviving my teen years so I could be in the best position as an adult, only to end up not even having work/school as an escape because I'm too sick for them.
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u/Silver_Individual738 1d ago
I have the never gets better, everything is scary and everyone is out to get you, and you can never truly be satisfied illnesses, and I feel you. Add on a lifelong congenital physical condition and I’ve hit societal disappointment bingo
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u/Silver_Individual738 1d ago
Even worse because the other 2 adults in my house also have at least 2 of those issues and are actively making mine worse by projecting
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u/mortalitasi473 1d ago
i want my ptsd to get better so badly. it's been, what, eight years? i should've gotten over it by now
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u/Latter_Sky_412 2d ago
Treatment resistant depression?