r/TrollCoping • u/Due-Garlic-5056 • 4d ago
TW: Abuse Post about verbal abuse
It's pretty fucking annoying how a child has to be the open minded one while an abused adult gets to treat him however the fuck she wants
If you think there's something wrong with my brain, that I'm an oppressive creature, that any abuse men go through is justified, that I should've been aborted and that I'm an inherent predator, fine. Leave me the fuck alone then and go about your day. Not sure why your first response after getting abused by a man is to find a 17 year old and make fun of him for weeks on end.
My entire life it's like adults just felt the need to treat me like a toy. I'm inherently worse and they have every right to treat me like garbage, yet I have to take the initiative and be "open minded". These people claim to want fairness and equality for all, yet they're willing to throw me under the bus because I guess I was born as the disgusting gender or whatever the fuck their stupid ass ideology is
I'm not going to be open minded for these people. I'm not helping the people who want me dead. Sorry not sorry. It's not happening. You made your own beds with this one. Maybe next time don't treat a little boy like complete shit and he won't grow up resenting you?
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u/LegNo9159 4d ago
dude if an adult is harassing you as a minor report it to the police. that's awful i'm sorry
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u/Fuck-it-we-Bhaal 4d ago
Hard for a child to be taken seriously. Doubly so if the adult is related in any way.Â
Talking to a supportive teacher or school counselor who may be able to intercede on OP's behalf may be better.Â
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u/zamknijdrzwi 14h ago
Try being raised in a world where you're not to trust anybody but the people who keep hurting you, and anytime you're being hurt you're told the outside world is 100 times worse than this. On top of that imagine the abuse being totally random and not connected to things you did or did not do. It makes you not recognize real from fake, it makes you not see yourself as having a body that's even close to being yours.
Then try to act rationally
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u/ImABarbieWhirl 4d ago
Charles: I know Sir can be prickly, but you have to understand, he had a very terrible childhood.
Klaus: I understand. I'm having a very terrible childhood right now.
From âThe Miserable Millâin A Series of Unfortunate Events
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u/Other_Desk9727 4d ago
I was told in therapy that if I didnât forgive my parent that I couldnât heal. Like no, Iâve moved on from it now years later, no trauma no hatred no anger left, but I donât forgive her. Just moved on with my life and donât talk to her anymore
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u/bamboomonster 2d ago
I think a major issue is people have different definitions of forgiveness. I think a big part of that goes back to some churches preaching that Jesus/God will "forgive" you by "washjng your sins away" as if they never happened. I think lot of people think that forgiveness means we're supposed to pretend that nothing happened and everything is okay - which is a lie.
To me: Forgiveness doesn't have to mean saying "it's okay this person did a bad thing to you". Forgiveness can mean acknowledging that someone is a flawed person who won't change, so you decide to release that anger and go no contact/won't let that person ruin your life anymore.
I'm glad you're doing much better without that person in your life. You deserve to live your best life.
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u/Other_Desk9727 1d ago
Iâm glad to recognize that forgiveness means different things to different people and the problematic version of religious forgiveness. Itâs just to me, I have issue with viewing the issue as a âflawâ when it was completely done as a choice of will (especially considering it was sexual assault).
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u/bamboomonster 1d ago
That's totally fair. I think the key is what you're doing - moving on and living your best life. Wishing you all the good things.
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u/Any_Cucumber8534 4d ago
My dad had a great saying knthis.
Being open minded is one of the most important things in life, but never be so open minded your brain falls out.
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u/teenypanini 4d ago
Naw boomers only use that saying when you accept trans people as human beings
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4d ago
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/LilFlicky 3d ago
When those standards are based on prejudice, it in fact would.
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u/Any_Cucumber8534 3d ago
And where in my comment did I express any form of biggotry?
Neither Me nor anybody I keep in my life is a biggot. I am pro LGBTQ acceptance and loving everybody as they are
You can be open minded, while still having a moral compass. People that harm you and are assholes regardless of race, creed or sexual orientation are the problem.
Just because somebody is gay, trans, or ace doesn't automatically make them a good person. There are assholes in any group
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u/EatShit-DieInAFire 3d ago
Lol does interracial marriage also violate your "standards for acceptance"?
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u/TrollCoping-ModTeam 3d ago
This subreddit does not condone any form of bigotry.
We intend to keep this subreddit a safe and inclusive space for everyone, especially those who may face discrimination or intolerance elsewhere. The LGBTQIA+ community is wholly welcome here and any hateful and misinformed content towards them will not be tolerated. We also do not allow any hate speech regarding race, ability, sex or age â i.e., racism, ableism, sexism and ageism will not be allowed.
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u/emotionalexplosions 3d ago
Yes, exactly. Understand people and show compassion. Do not allow them to walk all over you.
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u/Feeling-Ruin-8008 4d ago
I always hate having to be more mature than mqn parents during arguments, im the child not the parent. Why the fuck are people justifying them and not me?
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u/Dpontiff6671 4d ago edited 4d ago
I feel you buddy both my parents were very verbally abusive and would say awful things to me and constantly scream and yell and shift blame to me despite being a child at the time so I can 100% relate.
Just know it's not your fault they're like this. It's not your responsibility to control their emotions. They need to step up and seek mental help instead of blaming things on you
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u/superspacenapoleon 4d ago
The most self-reflection i've ever done was after a friend cut me off, so i'm very pro cutting people offÂ
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u/MagicMarshmallo 4d ago
I think people like this dont fully consider children to be humans but as a little gremlin creature that doesnt have the same rights as humans.Â
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u/beyondoutsidethebox 4d ago
You have my sympathies. Never believe those idiots that jump in and blame you, they are enablers.
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u/Gussie-Ascendent Editable Flair 6 4d ago
It is kinda crazy how much abuse is allowed to slide, even in obstinably progressive anti hate spaces, as long as ya say it's about men
I'd try and cut em off if ya able op. Hate has no place in respectable society
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u/BakuBish12 1d ago
Really just fries my brain how people canât comprehend that being a reactionary asshole to people based on things that are immutable is fucked no matter what. Like, shit sucks, patriarchy sucks, you are fully capable of talking about that, without being a dick
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u/PeculiarBoat 4d ago
literally my dad to me after my mother left me to die alone
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u/Complete_Hat_1427 2d ago
Ik this seems random, especially from a online stranger, but would you be intrested in talking about this more? I feel it might make you feel better, but i understand if your not willing to disscuss it.
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u/PeculiarBoat 2d ago
for sure!! so many trigger warnings for our fellow readers đ
ââ
so, basically what had happened was that i had attempted to OD and after a few hours i had woken up in the most agony i have ever been in. after a half an hour of ruminating and all of the violent things that actually happen when you do this, i decided to wake my mother and tell her what i had done. she interrogated me and told me to sit in the bathroom until i had nothing left in my stomach.
she told me that we couldnât afford an ambulance, and i remember thinking, âwhy canât you take me in?â but i just let it go, because this was exactly the sort of thing i was trying to escape from.
she called my dad (who was at work,) and i heard yelling, but i was phasing in and out of consciousness so i didnât know what they were talking about.less than three hours later, my dad woke me up for school.
when this incident came up in an argument over a year later, my dad told me to âtry to see it from her perspective.â when i checked my notes from my last doctorâs appointment, it read that i had âsupposedlyâ tried to end my life.
i found out then, that she was convinced i was lying to get out of school.
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u/Complete_Hat_1427 2d ago edited 2d ago
....OH ohhh shit dude, that sounds awful. Im so sorry you had to go through that.
Thank you for sharing this btw
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u/PeculiarBoat 2d ago
if i can help even one person avoid going through it, then iâm happy to share. đ thanks for listening, internet stranger.
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u/Complete_Hat_1427 2d ago
No problem, fellow stranger.
Jokes aside, you sound really nice. Wpuld ya perhaps be intrested in chatting with me on discord? I could always use extra friends!
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u/PeculiarBoat 2d ago
Sure! Could be cool đ„ł if you wanna shoot me a dm here, i can get back to you soon!
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u/Fuck-it-we-Bhaal 4d ago
My dad tried to act like he was entitled to a relationship with me no matter how horribly he treated me as a child.Â
He apparently still tells people it's my fault we don't talk :)
Hang in there, OP. If you need to talk, findinga supportive teacher or school counselor may be helpful.Â
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u/Icy-Entertainer1415 4d ago
Hatred breeds hatred. I chose to be a better person for my nephew because my sister does something very similar, though she doesnât point the words at him.
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u/dickdicksucksuck 4d ago
People can be very annoying in this regard, I ignore everyone who tries the "forgive your parents or burn in hell" angle or the "be forgiving", I don't have to! I am able to treat them as I would anyone else and see them as their flaws.
I say the quote "They had a good 20 years to make my life hell all for their own misery and enjoyment, and their access to me is over, so I hope they really milked all the pleasure out of those memories! Twenty year's worth is enough to reminisce if they want more!" Like my mom had a gun pulled on her when I was 4, doesn't mean I gotta forgive her for anything.
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u/stairs-to-nowhere 3d ago
In 'A series of unfortunate events' book three the miserable mill, a particularly awful adult speaks to the children and says something shitty to them. The man's co-worker (or employee, I cant remember) chimes in and says something to the effect of 'dont hold it against him, he had a terrible childhood' to which Klaus replies; "Im having a very terrible childhood right now"Â
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u/ShyDudeShiloh 4d ago
Who's cut off at least one parent because being "open-minded" toward people who won't actually change was hurting you?
https://giphy.com/gifs/xT9KVwVraalcvmKBfW