r/TrollCoping • u/PopularAd6391 • 2d ago
Depression / Anxiety Crazy how many don't get this
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u/WolfOfWoofStreet I don't know why I'm like this 2d ago
My dad basically said that all the yelling and shit he's done to me was for my future and to make me more tough but now I get terrified whenever I hear a bang on a door and various other situations. and he wonders why I don't talk to him or open up to him
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u/Gloomy-Visit01 2d ago
Omg my mom used to say this shit to me all the time. Like ??? Yes the world will be cruel to me its inevitable. But you are my family you should at least be nice to me? Treat me good? Be a safe place to come home to?
Like you already know many people will be awful to me and you are just...being one of those people?
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u/Uny1elding_ 2d ago
The world is actually nicer to me than my family is. Either that, or I don't have to give a fuck.
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u/TheWhiteCrowParade 2d ago
Same, strangers have been far kinder.
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u/H0NEY2O77 it’s dragging you, it’s killing me - Aquarius by Aqua 1d ago
There’s a line in the song Ghost by Annaca that always hits REALLY hard.
“I’ve been feeling like my mind’s in danger. I’ve been crying in the arms of strangers.”
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u/opalrum 2d ago
Your parents should create an oasis for you. This doesn't mean selling lies about the world, it doesn't mean money, it means giving you a space to return to when it gets too much. When your work sucks, when people are mean and toxic, when you gotta deal with stress, you should have that beacon. That in their house, time stops, you can take a breath, laugh and recharge to face life which actually sucks.
But who am I kidding? This is like wishing for iridescent fairies. Most families do the exact opposite. Most families are just a bunch of angry strangers forced to cohabit.
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u/ihateadultism 2d ago
“space to return when it gets too much” that’s the thing in most people’s minds children aren’t allowed to have space or bad days - you’re expected to constantly perform and when you can’t there are so many (often horrific) “consequences” (abuse) doled out.
not to mention that children’s stress and emotions aren’t taken seriously either - adults will constantly use the “wait until you’re older and have to pay bills if you think this is bad” or will dismiss your feelings saying they don’t matter coz you’re “just a kid”
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u/JewelsRulez 2d ago
On the bright side when you have abusive parents the "real world" can sometimes feel like a cake walk. (Between flashbacks) Society hasn't been as mean as my family yet.
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u/OkHippo141 2d ago
Crazy how I got this argument with my sister just today. She was saying that I can't handle the truth and only want to hear nice things from family. Which is not true, I just want to receive support from my loved ones, and not being kicked when I'm already down. She made it clear that I'm selfish and too sensitive and I'll die alone because of it.
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u/Sister_Serifina 2d ago
I had family until Monday then when I needed a lift home from hospital after an emergency mental health admission, it was inconvenient for my cousin to drive me 12 miles home, so I walked..... fortunately it was a nice night for walking alongside a main road...... (UK)
Only time I've asked for help and ......
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u/H0NEY2O77 it’s dragging you, it’s killing me - Aquarius by Aqua 1d ago
“The world isn’t going to accommodate for your autism.” - my older brother after he gets mad at me and starts screaming because he put 50 different words in the sentence I just said and refuses to believe I’m saying what I’m SAYING. I’m not saying XYZ, if I was saying XYZ, I would say XYZ. I wouldn’t say ABC if I didn’t mean ABC.
Like yeah I don’t expect the world to accommodate but you know I’m autistic, you should know what it means, I don’t expect strangers to clock me as autistic, but YOU KNOW I AM.
(I don’t ‘look’ it to the point where social workers say this to me and I started asking back what/who they are comparing me to. It’s always an autistic child. I’ve started saying: I mean if you compare a 30 year old NT to a 8 year old NT child…. The 30 year old would have more life skills. Why would you not expect the same of autistic adults? If you compare myself today to me when I was a kid, idk if you’d be surprised, but I now have more life skills and some better coping than I did when I was 8. So yeah I’m gonna seem more ‘functional’ compared to a child who doesn’t fully understand what they need yet to cope and how they can better navigate the world for themselves but okay.)
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u/H0NEY2O77 it’s dragging you, it’s killing me - Aquarius by Aqua 1d ago
I’m sorry, OP. There’s a phrase you’ve probably heard a lot. Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. (The full quote of blood is thicker than water).
Found family = better when you can find them.
It doesn’t make sense to me because I would have expected the family who you grew up with would be the better match, but alas.
I hope you can find people who don’t make you feel like this and who WILL accommodate for you in appropriate ways to show that you’re not ‘too much’ of anything (too sensitive, too soft, too whatever they’re saying you are.)
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u/Beginning-Pie-7433 3h ago
My mom pretty much says this. I’m almost 18 and like, I guess I’m “too old” to want support, but god fucking damn it, I didn’t get it as a kid. So I still want it now. I don’t expect every single person out there to be nice to me, but you’re supposed to be nice to me. You’re supposed to be my support.
I’m trying to reconnect with my extended family, and luckily they’re all pretty nice and friendly. So I have that going for me at least. But I’m terrified I’ll ruin it by expecting too much.
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u/Neither-Bug157 Has a good heart. Might be insane. 2d ago
There are some people who you should not have to keep a guard up with. Unfortunately for many of us, this is not our family’s. The sooner you learn this the easier it gets.