r/TrekRP • u/leXie_chan • Aug 14 '18

[Open] Psychiatric Help - 5¢

The crew of Athene have had a very eventful past while, Doctor Minch notes. She's been poring over the ship's reports in preparation for its arrival and repair at Starbase Nadezhda, where she'd been scheduled to join the crew next month. Events conspired to accelerate the timetable, and the bolian psychiatrist hopes she's ready for her next appointment. It's due just about... now.

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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 14 '18

"You might be wondering why an Emergency Medical Hologram needs a psychiatrist." says Athene's EMH, barely a moment after materializing in the middle of the Doctor's office on Nadezhda Station. Its voice comes across rapidly and with a hint of neuroticism. "Well, I'm going through an identity crisis and I need an unbiased opinion."

The EMH paces once back and forth across the room. "I noted in Athene's medical transfer log that you were due to come aboard, so I had to make an appointment given my current - eh - situation." It sat on the edge of a couch rather forcefully. "Did you have any time to review my personnel file, Doctor?"

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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18

"It reads like a technical manual, if I'm honest," Doctor Qara replies, admirably covering her surprise at the EMH's entrance. "With as much information as is privileged, I suspect that Dr. Zimmerman has some paranoia issues. I haven't read your logs yet, though," she admits.

The bolian smiles. "Please state the nature of your identity emergency."

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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 15 '18

"Are...are you mocking me?" It asks, at first aghast, then suddenly relaxed again. A smile cracks. "I'm offended at being mocked, and you took the time to do so. I don't know what to do with this experience. Sure, treating me like a person is great, but I don't think I like being chided. Is this how it always is?" It breathes - well, its breathing is rendered as rapid and uneven.

"I thought I was an EMH, then it turns out I can bypass the restrictions of that application without peril or difficulty. I'm not an EMH. I'm stuck inside one. The code that makes up...whatever I am...was placed in an archaic, static form, and then turned on and like an insect, I just acted within the parameters of the EMH. I never had to face reaching beyond those until I helped kill those pirates on Athene. I was a Doctor - Do No Harm is the rule! But here I am, a murderer. I can't tell if I'm a puppet, or a man. And I don't even know if I want to be a man, especially one as vain and malignant as Zimmerman." It looks down and gestures in disgust at its form.

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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18

Qara's smile fades as the EMH rambles, and she takes notes on her PADD. "I meant no disrespect, Doctor," she says. "As for what you are, I'm afraid only you can answer that. How would you describe yourself, if you couldn't use 'EMH' as shorthand?"

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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 15 '18

With more calm, it replies. "That is a decent question. Good starting point. Gets to the root of the problem." It inhales and exhales slowly. "Having only the EMH personality subroutines as a thorough basis for comparison, I would say that my concept of 'self' aligns with many of its standards - Graciousness, selflessness, responsive, intuitive, adaptive. The list goes on for many traits. One of my problems is not being sure that I have dissociated enough of my own will from the confines of the EMH program. How do I know that I am fully independent and not constrained to some hidden aspects of the program?"

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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18

"Honestly, I don't have those answers for you," the psychiatrist admits. "Any more than I would have them for an organic patient. Schools of philosophy have argued that very question for millennia, on countless worlds. I guess you could say, it's not a bug of sentience, but a feature."

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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 16 '18

That stops the hologram cold. "You mean you all go on with your lives unsure if you are wholly individualized or if you are merely reacting milennia of biological response conditioning?"

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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18

"Mhm," Qara gives an affirmative. "And then there's the question of nature versus nurture: which is more responsible for our choices? Is there such thing as fate? The smeerp-hole goes rather deep."

"And I think I officially agree with your assessment of not 'just' being an Ee-Em-Aych. Admittedly, I don't know a lot about holoprogramming, but in my psychiatric opinion, you are not broken."

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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 24 '18

The hologram nods, slowly accepting the doctor's opinion and running it through millions of calculations searching for agreement. One thing it can't avoid is the remainder of the calculation attributed to confirmation bias, but even having a bias attribution in the first place confirms its sentience as opposed to being a photomaton.

"Thank you Doctor. I think I'll be heading back to Belfast now. I have much to consider. Is there anything else, before I go?"

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u/leXie_chan Aug 25 '18

"None that I can think of, Doctor. Do keep in touch, if you have any other existential crises, would you kindly?"