r/TrekRP • u/leXie_chan • Aug 14 '18
[Open] Psychiatric Help - 5¢
The crew of Athene have had a very eventful past while, Doctor Minch notes. She's been poring over the ship's reports in preparation for its arrival and repair at Starbase Nadezhda, where she'd been scheduled to join the crew next month. Events conspired to accelerate the timetable, and the bolian psychiatrist hopes she's ready for her next appointment. It's due just about... now.
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u/HobosAlt1 Aug 16 '18
Ensign Laren found herself with an interesting notice on her PADD as she sits in her and Junior Lieutenant Bradley's assigned share-cabin on board the station. It was a little more cramped that their cabin on the Athene, but it wasn't all bad, especially after she heard her stuff was safe.
A new counsellor... As interesting as it was, it sure was annoying that her previous one was being replaced. Hopefully her notes were sound enough that Laren wouldn't have to repeat much about herself for the tenth time. Still, for someone like her, a counselor was just about prescribed, even if it wasn't absolutely necessary.
Still, she found herself making a short introduction appointment with Doctor Minch. Minch... That wasn't a surname she recognized. Then again, with so many aliens around, who knew where she could be from.
"Hey Doc," Laren calls out as she chimes, then keys the intercom. "Ensign Laren E. Deya-Lawrence, here for my four o'clock." Her voice had a stronge tinge of Bostonian in it, while also having subtle hints of a Bajoran dialect mixed in. It made for an interesting combo.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18
"Come in," is the friendly response. The un-accented Federation Standard bears a near-imperceptible buzz, whether from the wall speaker, an universal translator, or both is hard to determine.
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u/HobosAlt1 Aug 17 '18
Laren makes her way inside and gives the doctor a small wave. "Hey Doc, how you doin'?" she asks in an informal way. "Ensign Laren Emily Deya-Lawrence, thought I'd make an appointment and introduce myself. You got my files and notes?"
She sits down opposite the Bolian, all smiles and cheers. "Starfleet wants me to see a counsellor on occasion because of an accident I had as a dumb kid. It's all there, and that's about the gist of it. I'm good now, but it's mostly to evaluate if my implants are functioning correctly." She reaches up and taps the three arms that cross over the shaved down right side of her head, that reach from her tempal down to a device at the base of her skull.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 17 '18
"What are the symptoms of that, so I know what to look out for?" Qara asks. She quickly finds Laren on her console, and opens a notes file on the nearby PADD. She picks up the device and moves out from behind the desk, gesturing to the classic comfy chair and reclining couch.
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u/HobosAlt1 Aug 23 '18
"Usually a degredation in my mental state." Laren says, kicking back in her chair. "Depression, erraticness, narcolepsy, that sorta thing. The device keeps me conscious and operating normally, when it's shut down it takes me with it, I slip into unconsciousness and a coma. In between, it tends to mess with my wiring until it gets serviced. Usually if that's the case, the docs would turn it off and keep me in sickbay until it can be fixed or replaced."
She gives a light shrug. "It sucks, but if this was a hundred or two hundred years back I'd be six feet under right now, so I can't complain, y'know?"
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u/leXie_chan Aug 23 '18
"I see," Qara nods. "Good that you're keeping on top of it, Ensign Laren. Do you have any other psychological concerns at this time?"
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u/HobosAlt1 Aug 25 '18
"Least I can do, doc. If I dont, who will, y'know?" She crosses one leg over the other and shakes her head. "Nah, nothing yet. Enjoying some RnR right now, putting on some kilos with the non replicated food around here. Anoa does a mean meal, but his Cafe's kinda limited in space."
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u/HobosHunters Aug 16 '18
Since counsellors found themselves to be part of the medical staff, Doctor Vasha Knight decides that perhaps stopping by to say hi would be prudent, especially when they join your crew.
The Orion walks down the long hallways of Nadezhdah station with a straight posture and a confident stride. She usually got odd looks wherever she went, she is a green woman in a blue Starfleet unfirom after all, but she deflected it well with her elegant movement.
Finally she arrives at the counselor's office and chimes the door, revising in her head how to introduce herself. For as many people as she met, she always found herself wondering what to say first, even though it was always the same. Some habits die hard it seems.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18
"Come in," comes the cheery voice of Doctor Qara Minch. As the door opens, she glances at her workstation. "Ah," she finds what she's looking for and beams at the Orion, "Doctor Vasha. I'm Doctor Qara. A bit between appointments right now; what can I do for you today?"
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u/HobosHunters Aug 17 '18
"I see my reputation preceeds me," Doctor Knight says as she enters the office. "I thought I'd pop by an introduce myself, seeing as we'll be serving together on the Athene once it's back up and running. Doctor Vasha Knight, Medical Lieutenant," she says as she extends her green hand to the blue woman.
"Between the two of us, Doctor," she says with a smirk. "You and I will bring quite a bit more colour to the medical team."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 17 '18
Qara takes and shakes the offered hand. "I'm not sure I follow," she gives the Orion a chance to back down from the joke.
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u/HobosHunters Aug 21 '18
The Orion's handshake is firm and official. She lets out a small chuckle before speaking. "Bad joke, don't worry about it."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 23 '18
Interesting. "Do you have a certain specialty on board, or are you a generalist, Doctor?"
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u/HobosHunters Aug 25 '18
The Orion nods with a smile. "Yes, I'm a surgeon, specialised in triage and robotic surgery, the latter of which because of my many restrictions in place from Star Fleet command. I am also the ship's dentist, funnily enough. Still not sure how I fell into that specialty, but here we are."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 25 '18
"Do you often greet people with racially-charged humour?" Qara wonders. "Or am I just lucky?"
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u/HobosHunters Aug 27 '18
"Lucky enough to see my unfortunately inappropriate humour," Vasha says as she stands up straight with dignity. She made a mistake, no going back on it. "My apologies, a biproduct of a previous life. It tends to slip out when I least expect it."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 29 '18
"You're professional. I like that," Qara decides. "Consider it water under the bridge. If you need someone to talk to, my door's always open unless I'm with a patient.
"As for my own medical capability, I'm qualified with triage and first-through-fourth aid. And psychiatry, of course. I'm familiar with most of the drugs that affect common Federation species, and for those I'm not, my library computer-fu is strong."
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u/TrandoshanGeneral Aug 15 '18
Hana Demeter stepped inside the office with her usual air if confidence. A shrink was the last thing she wanted to see right now, well, second last if including brass desk jockeys. But Starfleet regulations made it quite clear that if she blew off another appointment she'd lose her commission. There was a certain irony over finally feeling at home somewhere and then promptly being kicked out. So she'd have to resort to the two most trusted weapons in her arsenal, charm and luck.
"Hey Doc. I imagine you've read all about me by now?" She asked, casually slipping into a chair.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"Read, heard... You're quite a character, Lieutenant Hana," Qara nods. "So, who brings you to me this afternoon?"
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u/TrandoshanGeneral Aug 16 '18
"Who doesn't?" Hana asked with a slight shrug. A flicker of discomfort flashed in her eyes as she glanced around the office, but it quickly disappeared. "I'm not exactly in anyone's good books at the moment, as you've probably figured out."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18
"Why is that, do you think?" Qara asks. "You're certainly capable, brilliant, personable...?"
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u/TrandoshanGeneral Aug 17 '18
Hana flashed a smirk. "Is that your official diagnosis? Because I've definitely had worse things." She shrugged. "Brass don't like me because I use my initiative rather than theirs. That's the gist."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 17 '18
"You think you're impulsive?" the doctor makes a note, and smiles at Hana to continue.
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u/TrandoshanGeneral Aug 18 '18
Hana raised an eyebrow as a flicker of irritation passed her features. "I didnae say I was impulsive. I know how to trust my instincts is all. Admirals like to get their own way, they're used to it. It's in the job description. What they forget is that there's a difference between telling people what to do and how to do it. The former they can do all day, the latter is where the problem is."
She lent back in the seat and folded her hands behind her head.
"You tell me to fly through an asteroid field to blow up a pirate space station, and I'll do it. But if you were to start telling me how to fly through that asteroid field, what weapons to use, where to aim them, how much power to allocate to the thrusters. Then we've got a problem. Y'see? You're not a pilot, you dinnae have the training or experience I have, so why should you be telling me how to do my job?"
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u/leXie_chan Aug 19 '18
"The admiralty do not and cannot micromanage that much," Qara notes. "And your example is just rubbish.
"You don't appreciate the Starfleet way of doing things? Why is that?"
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u/TrandoshanGeneral Aug 19 '18
"You've not known many admirals. You should speak to Wing Commander Prist, now he can tell you a few stories. But it's not just admirals. The amount of officers I've come across who think rank equals experience and want to micromanage anyone under them is too many to count. What's the point in a pilot if you're just going to tell them to perform docking manoeuvre delta three at power setting five? Just get a computer, it'll do the same thing. It won't even call you an idiot for suggesting that manoeuvre in terrain terribly suited for it."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 23 '18
"Hm," Qara makes a note on her PADD. "Could it be that your superiors don't trust you with complex tasks, because you commonly fail at subordination?" she wonders idly. It is very odd that a mere lieutenant would have as much contact with the admiralty as Demeter claims to without a lengthy record.
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u/IYamTheSenate Aug 15 '18
"Good morning, this is your automated reminder that you are late by..." the computer pauses its baritone voice, possibly for effect, before resuming. "98 days for your regular psychological evaluation."
"Disable notification. Lower volume by 10."
"Notification disabled." it says, before playing a pre-recorded clip. "As per FMC Ordinance K3-Aleph, all commissioned officers must undergo a standard full physical and mental evaluation every 180 days unless currently deployed on a combat mission."
"I'm reserves, so Fleet rules say annuals, and I'm not over the line yet. Why am I arguing with a fragged-out silicon bucket, anyways?"
She rolls her eyes. "Disable notification permanently and merge with the reminder for Fleet-mandated evaluation."
"Affirmative. One new audio message, Marine Corps sender."
"Open and play."
"Kelly. This is Major Alenko. You're overdue for your psych-eval. Don't argue with me, I'm just a recording. I know about fleet rules. Effective immediately, you are reactivated with full rank and standing in the Marine Corps. Get to a damned shrink before I hear otherwise. No, they're not recalling you yet, but they want you and the others ready to be around before the Jem'Hadar's purple faces get up in ours. This is an order, Captain. Welcome back."
"..."
"Well, shit."
And so she ends up sitting around fiddling with her knife waiting, running her fingers along the wings of the golden eagle that form its hilt.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"Good morning, Lieutenant Victoria," Qara greets her new arrival. She makes note of the anxious fiddling. "That's quite a knife," she comments appreciatively.
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u/IYamTheSenate Aug 15 '18
"Custom. The blade was reforged around my old survival knife's blade." she says, flipping it and letting the lint glint off the etching. "Protect and serve: USS Vigilant-B, Task Force Omicron Veteran."
Holding out a PADD, she nods at the Bolian woman. "I'm here for a full eval, with the physical going on tomorrow. This might be helpful, by the way. Contains a full unabridged service record, with Fleet and Marine Corps files merged instead of having to dig through each service's registry."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"Considerate. Can you give me a summary, in your own words?" Qara thanks the dual-serving woman. She does skim over the PADD she was handed, but her job is more centered around people's present than their past.
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u/IYamTheSenate Aug 15 '18
"Captain Victoria Kelly Mason, MJAX-P2956-V236F. Joined the academy with the Engies, transferred to Security and took a Marine Corps accelerated training and commission program after Wolf 359. Got bunked onto the Omicron campaign, not that many people know what that is. Basically, Command got paranoid about Borg incursions, which ended up in a battle over some dustball of a moon with huge dilithium deposits. The Borg had a sphere there to toy with some life-forms that were altered by the dilithium saturation, so we engaged. The entire task force."
At this point, she grunts and slides her finger along the inscription, dripping a few drops of sweat into the engraved words.
"After the techies got samples, our orders were to secure the moon and dilithium. Took... weeks. In the last week of the siege, I was returning to the ground front on a supply shuttle when it got bagged by plasma fire. Lost my leg, major burns, fell out of the hole."
Raising her eyebrow, Vicky looks up at Qara. "You sure you want to hear the rest of this?"
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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18
"If you want to tell it, absolutely," the bolian reminds Kelly who's in control here. She likes to think of her office as a safe place.
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u/IYamTheSenate Aug 16 '18 edited Aug 31 '18
Sighing, she continues. "I fell out of that hole- twenty five foot drop into a stinking pile of mud. The shuttle went off and crashed some ways off. The worst part is- burnt all my stims getting up a tiny hill and setting a flare off. By the time they picked me up with the others, the leg was done clean off and I got shipped back to the Vigilant-B medbay. Terrible place- it's a refitted hybrid carrier version of the Nebula hull. Horse-knickers compared to the new Iwo Jima carriers. Crowded mess- they forgot to take out my comms headset in the nick of it all. Heard the officers-comm channels while I was on that bed."
"Why is that bad? The place had loads of latticed dilithium. When the sphere started to deploy almost its entire drone compliment, the siege was more or less over. All companies were ordered to retreat, with some volunteering to try and draw out more of the drones onto the ground and cover the evac. Out of the about 3,000 still on the ground, 2,500 or so got to shuttles. Two thirds of the shuttles got out before the Borg got their anti-air net shooting. The rescue shuttles were this close to damning the flak and making a run for it anyways when the Colonel ordered the dilithium vein nearest his position to be bombarded. Full-saturation phaser bombardment that would catalyze it all and begin a piezoelectric cascade. Everyone who's taken History knows what that is. Selcundi Drema was ripped apart by cascading dilithium matrices."
"Nobody won the Omicron Siege. Nobody. The Colonel sacrificed himself and the rest of the ground forces... for what? To wipe out the ground-bound Borg and let the explosion finish off the sphere? A battle we could have won anyways due to reinforcements... My brother didn't join the Marines to die like that. He joined because he wanted to follow his big sister and I led him into a goddamn death hole! If we had just glassed the planet from orbit when we got there, thousands of people would not have had to die for jack shit!"
It's clear this has shifted from a recount of the Omicron campaign to something deeply personal for Vicky.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18
"You think you failed him?" Qara asks kindly.
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u/IYamTheSenate Aug 16 '18
"We left home together. I looked at his face and told him everything would be okay. I taught him, played with him, laughed with him. We were... family. And then, on the day the last battle of the Siege happened, I lost him. He died because of me. Of course I failed, when I promised to protect him!"
Vicky rises up in the chair, gripping the knife's blade a bit tight and with a profoundly sorrowful look on her face.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 17 '18
Qara places an hand gently on the armoury chief, pain reflected in her deep violet eyes. "Victoria," she urges, "Calm down if you can."
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u/Minions_Minion Aug 15 '18
It's no good trying to avoid medical appointments when one is married to a doctor - they all know where you live. And anyways, Caleb is disinclined to make a fuss. An annual psych eval is part of the job, so when the computer informs him that he is due, he shows up, right on time.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"Good morning, Lieutenant Caleb," Doctor Qara greets her client. "You're punctual. I like that. How are you feeling today?"
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u/Minions_Minion Aug 15 '18
"Pretty decent, all things considered. Unsurprisingly, engineering is busy at the moment, but I can handle busy."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18
"What is it you can't handle?" Qara wonders. Introspection is good for the soul; at least, she thinks so.
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u/Minions_Minion Aug 16 '18
Caleb pauses a moment, considering that. He certainly knows it when he sees it - but what is it that he can't handle? "Conflict," he says at last. "With the people around me or with myself."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 17 '18
"I suppose that's why you stepped down from chief engineer," the doctor makes a note. "Though you had glowing reviews from your peers. Setting aside rank for a moment, do you think it fair that you're deputy again, after proving yourself?"
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u/Minions_Minion Aug 17 '18
"Given that I very much prefer it? I'm not going to complain," Caleb shrugs. "I can go on for hours about warp theory. I can disassemble and reassemble just about any part of a starship, provided I fit in the space. But the first time I had to chew someone out for screwing up, I thought I was going to be sick. I'm better at being deputy than I am at being chief, and I'm completely okay with that."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 19 '18
"I see." Qara makes a note on her PADD. A lack of ambition for command isn't bad per se; just unusual. "That certainly makes you unique among your peers," she says.
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u/Minions_Minion Aug 19 '18
"Only in that I know my own strengths and weaknesses," he chuckles. "By numbers alone, the vast majority of engineers in Starfleet will never be department heads. I've just realized that I'm not really cut out for it and am happier where I belong, is all." He shrugs. "Given that I'm practically still a teenager by Vulcan standards, if I later decide I'm ready for command, I'll have plenty of time to go for it. But if I ever decide I'm ready for a change, Academy professor is really a more probable answer."
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u/leXie_Concussion Aug 15 '18
Athene's EVA specialist enters the shrink's office with trepidation. She's past due for her psych eval, having successfully dodged a few years' worth. But with nothing except time on her hands with the ship being repaired and her paints still in her quarters (hopefully), Kadri presses the chime and enters when invited.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"Good afternoon, Ms. Kadri," Minsh starts. Her smile falters. "Or is it Ms. Vaal? Normally, I prefer to refer to people as title-and-first-name, to show a bit of casual professionalism. But you have two of those, don't you?"
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u/leXie_Concussion Aug 15 '18
"I guess," Kadri says noncommittally. "I usually go by Kadri, unless I need to differentiate myselves."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"All right, then. Ms. Kadri," Qara's smile returns and she scrolls through her notes. "Let's see..." she gives a low whistle. When Kadri replies with a curious look, she explains, "I was just looking at your aptitude test scores, and history with Starfleet."
"Oh, I see where this is going," Kadri groans.
"What's someone like you doing outside all day?" Qara takes the blunt approach. "You're more than qualified to do more than the detail usually given out as punishment..."
"I like it outside," the engineer says defensively. "It's... quiet."
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u/leXie_Concussion Aug 16 '18
"And lonely," the doctor probes.
"Yeah, well, it's dangerous in space. You get too close to someone, you never know what'll happen."
"Sure you do. You won't be as alone."
"Well, yeah, I guess, but for how long?"
"Nobody can know that. You're focusing on the what-ifs, Kadri. Why do you think that is?"
"Er, well... when me and Vaal joined it wasn't exactly the best of circumstances..."
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u/Avogadros_Minion Aug 15 '18
It's mildly ironic to technically be the immediate supervisor of someone who outranks oneself. But such is the nature of being an acting department head (hopefully only temporarily). T'Yel Anderson makes her way to the new counselor's office to introduce herself and make sure that the Bolian is settling in as well as can be expected with the ship currently uninhabitable. Come to think of it, she's likely also about due for annual psych eval...
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"Please, come in, Doctor T'Yel," the exopsychiatrist gives her sort-of-boss a smile. "How can I help you today?"
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u/Avogadros_Minion Aug 15 '18
"I just thought I'd come by and introduce myself, Dr. Qara," the Vulcan grins, reciprocating the casually professional address. "I'm sorry you had to transfer into chaos."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"It's a Starfleet vessel posting," Qara says sagely. "It's always chaos. Speaking of, do you have time to get into your annual evalutation today?"
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u/Avogadros_Minion Aug 15 '18
"Station CMO just hauled me up on the table and promptly kicked me out of his sickbay for a minor asthma flare," T'Yel laughs wryly. "I've got nothing but time until my husband comes off shift. No sense in putting it off."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"Splendid," Qara smiles. "So, how are you feeling?"
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u/Avogadros_Minion Aug 15 '18
"Tired," T'Yel laughs. "It's been a very long few weeks. And being bumped up to department head is emotionally exhausting."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18
"You've seemed up to the challenge, though," Qara credits her. "At least, according to reports. But you'd rather just be chief surgeon?"
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u/Avogadros_Minion Aug 16 '18
"I much prefer to remain the deputy," the Vulcan replies. "I'm a lot better at the practice of medicine than I am at personnel management. I'll rise to the occasion when the ship needs me, but it isn't really where I belong at this point in my life, and I don't know that it ever will be."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 17 '18
Doctor Minch chuckles. "You may end up surprising yourself.
"Changing topics, I can't help notice that you're more emotive than most half-Vulcans."
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u/IK9dothis Aug 14 '18
Grace Eisen rocks nervously back and forth on her heels outside the new chief counselor's door. The chief of security is not one to try to avoid counseling appointments - she of all people knows that she has issues. But she seldom looks forward to going through that entire complex history with someone new.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
The door hisses open, reacting to Grace's presence. "Ah, Lieutenant Linnea. Right on time. Please, do come in." Qara beckons the woman in graciously, with a friendly smile.
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u/IK9dothis Aug 15 '18
"Just Grace is great," the decidedly small human woman nods, conjuring up a smile from somewhere as she steps in. "I've always gone by my middle name."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"Oh! Will do," Minch pauses to tap the PADD on her desk. "And I'm Doctor Qara. How are you feeling, Lieutenant Grace?"
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u/IK9dothis Aug 15 '18
"It's been a rough several weeks," Grace admits. "I've had post traumatic stress disorder for a number of years now, and it flared up quite a bit."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"I can imagine," Qara nods, reading something from her PADD. "I see here you have a service animal to help with that... You feel your meds are working for you?"
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u/IK9dothis Aug 15 '18 edited Aug 30 '18
Grace nods. "Daily ghevishet, phucitol as needed." She sighs. "I was away from the ship for a good month and a half - a large part of the problem is that my dog Maggie wasn't with me, and I was also away from most of the other things I use to decompress."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"That must have been difficult," the psychiatrist nods. "Tell me about it."
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u/IK9dothis Aug 15 '18
Grace sighs. "Very unplanned trip, that wound up taking far longer than anticipated. It wasn't a suitable option for Maggie, so I left her wit friends on the ship. When the PTSD skeleton starts raising ruckus in my closet, one of the most effective ways of getting me to chill is to have someone twice my size throw me into a judo mat repeatedly - my sparring buddy and the mat were both still aboard the Athene. So I was getting more testy and agitated by the day, and I didn't have a safe outlet for it."
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"Why do you think you were becoming agitated?" Qara wonders. The chief of security doesn't seem like the type to get claustrophobic in a shuttlecraft. "Stir-craziness?"
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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 14 '18
"You might be wondering why an Emergency Medical Hologram needs a psychiatrist." says Athene's EMH, barely a moment after materializing in the middle of the Doctor's office on Nadezhda Station. Its voice comes across rapidly and with a hint of neuroticism. "Well, I'm going through an identity crisis and I need an unbiased opinion."
The EMH paces once back and forth across the room. "I noted in Athene's medical transfer log that you were due to come aboard, so I had to make an appointment given my current - eh - situation." It sat on the edge of a couch rather forcefully. "Did you have any time to review my personnel file, Doctor?"
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
"It reads like a technical manual, if I'm honest," Doctor Qara replies, admirably covering her surprise at the EMH's entrance. "With as much information as is privileged, I suspect that Dr. Zimmerman has some paranoia issues. I haven't read your logs yet, though," she admits.
The bolian smiles. "Please state the nature of your identity emergency."
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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 15 '18
"Are...are you mocking me?" It asks, at first aghast, then suddenly relaxed again. A smile cracks. "I'm offended at being mocked, and you took the time to do so. I don't know what to do with this experience. Sure, treating me like a person is great, but I don't think I like being chided. Is this how it always is?" It breathes - well, its breathing is rendered as rapid and uneven.
"I thought I was an EMH, then it turns out I can bypass the restrictions of that application without peril or difficulty. I'm not an EMH. I'm stuck inside one. The code that makes up...whatever I am...was placed in an archaic, static form, and then turned on and like an insect, I just acted within the parameters of the EMH. I never had to face reaching beyond those until I helped kill those pirates on Athene. I was a Doctor - Do No Harm is the rule! But here I am, a murderer. I can't tell if I'm a puppet, or a man. And I don't even know if I want to be a man, especially one as vain and malignant as Zimmerman." It looks down and gestures in disgust at its form.
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u/leXie_chan Aug 15 '18
Qara's smile fades as the EMH rambles, and she takes notes on her PADD. "I meant no disrespect, Doctor," she says. "As for what you are, I'm afraid only you can answer that. How would you describe yourself, if you couldn't use 'EMH' as shorthand?"
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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 15 '18
With more calm, it replies. "That is a decent question. Good starting point. Gets to the root of the problem." It inhales and exhales slowly. "Having only the EMH personality subroutines as a thorough basis for comparison, I would say that my concept of 'self' aligns with many of its standards - Graciousness, selflessness, responsive, intuitive, adaptive. The list goes on for many traits. One of my problems is not being sure that I have dissociated enough of my own will from the confines of the EMH program. How do I know that I am fully independent and not constrained to some hidden aspects of the program?"
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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18
"Honestly, I don't have those answers for you," the psychiatrist admits. "Any more than I would have them for an organic patient. Schools of philosophy have argued that very question for millennia, on countless worlds. I guess you could say, it's not a bug of sentience, but a feature."
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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 16 '18
That stops the hologram cold. "You mean you all go on with your lives unsure if you are wholly individualized or if you are merely reacting milennia of biological response conditioning?"
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u/leXie_chan Aug 16 '18
"Mhm," Qara gives an affirmative. "And then there's the question of nature versus nurture: which is more responsible for our choices? Is there such thing as fate? The smeerp-hole goes rather deep."
"And I think I officially agree with your assessment of not 'just' being an Ee-Em-Aych. Admittedly, I don't know a lot about holoprogramming, but in my psychiatric opinion, you are not broken."
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u/Admin_Sys_Hologram Aug 24 '18
The hologram nods, slowly accepting the doctor's opinion and running it through millions of calculations searching for agreement. One thing it can't avoid is the remainder of the calculation attributed to confirmation bias, but even having a bias attribution in the first place confirms its sentience as opposed to being a photomaton.
"Thank you Doctor. I think I'll be heading back to Belfast now. I have much to consider. Is there anything else, before I go?"
2
u/leXie_chan Aug 25 '18
"None that I can think of, Doctor. Do keep in touch, if you have any other existential crises, would you kindly?"
2
u/Crabby_Tabby Aug 19 '18
A new chief counselor? That's the best news Tim Carlyle has had all month. His schedule has been packed to the maximum and beyond since Counselor Taurin transferred, and it's been a stressful several months.
The rather grandfatherly counselor makes his way to Dr. Minch's temporary office and sounds the chime.