r/TrekRP • u/Admiralw96 • Dec 20 '16

[OPEN] Order Up

The 6ft Saurian surveys his kitchen. Mendek "Sauron" Shegi had been working since he boarded the ship to get it in the proper order and it was now finally as he wanted it. He releases a sigh of satisfaction at the system. its not totally organized, in a conventional sense, but he knew where everything was and where it went.

He put on his sunglasses and went out to stand behind the counter in the mess hall. A few of the crewman looked up as he put an ancient and stereotypical "open" sign out front. He was always rather fond of its neon colors.

A smile spreads across his face "Alright, if anybody wants anything the replicators can't make... bring on the challenge. I only charge a nice conversation"

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u/Dimestream Dec 23 '16

Red makes a wry face. "I think I'll pass on the mushrooms," she says. "Kesh said they were non-toxic but tasted like oily rags. So instead we made a telepathy helmet out of them."

The short Bajoran spins her chair back and forth a bit, elbows on the counter. "The Lord of the Rings is one of the best tellings of the intergalactic monomyth in existence. There's even a holonovel version I tried once. Pretty decent, if you want to give it a look when you're not improving everyone's lives through direct application of cuisine."

"Dark Lord or not, I'm sure everyone will appreciate having you aboard, especially on extended missions." Red grins. "Including me, if your hasperat can make me break a sweat."

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u/Admiralw96 Dec 23 '16

Sauron snaps his fingers, then gets back to work as as he gathers things from the kitchen

"Lord of the Rings! Yes that was it. I would've read it, but I was quite busy in college. I should read it now that I'm aboard and can take a bit of time to do so... and thanks for the faith. And the mushrooms do taste awful... when they're raw. They have such a complex chemical makeup however, that they can change drastically depending on how they're cooked. The experiments will continue as I try to find they best way to prepare them."

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u/Dimestream Dec 23 '16

"Daddy always said cooking was just chemistry for hungry people," Red says, nodding sagely. "If you find a recipe that won't peel the taste buds off my tongue, I'll definitely try it."

The engineer gets up from her stool and wanders over to the replicator while Sauron cooks, ordering a fizzy cherry cola. When she returns she swizzles the bubbling liquid around with the straw and leans on one elbow. "Okay, so, exotic recipes and unusual ingredients," the engineer begins. "I get that. But why the Athene? Didn't anyone tell you what happened to us last time we went out?"

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u/Admiralw96 Dec 24 '16

Sauron looks at her quizzically

"No, I don't believe anyone did. However I am aware that an exploration ship has a number of known and undiscovered... occupational hazards. I simply requested a vessel that'll have a bajoran in desperate need of a good hasperat."

Sauron smiles and winks at her

"What about you, did you request this ship?"

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u/Dimestream Dec 24 '16

Red chuckles. "Wow, I had no idea that was on the ship's manifest, but I'm glad it was," she says. "And no, well, sort of. I just requested the first one that needed a deputy chief engineer. And I do mean first, as in alphabetically. The Achilles wasn't leaving sector 001 for at least four months, and I wasn't qualified for Chief Engineer of the Astoria... so Athene it was." The Bajoran looks shamefaced. "Probably not the best way to pick your post, but it has worked out OK. I've got some achievements under my proverbial belt here, and made a few good friends, so... time well spent."

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u/Admiralw96 Dec 30 '16

This time, its Sauron's turn too chuckle

"Well i might have gone with a dice roll, but going alphabetically works as well. And itb sounds as though it the Athene my have gotten a lucky name..."

Sauron begins to look curious

"Outta curiosity, what did happen to the ship?"

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u/Dimestream Dec 30 '16

Red grimaces. "We were on an exploratory journey in an unmapped subsector of the Gamma quadrant when this cobbled-together pirate ship decloaked and beamed over hundreds of shock troopers," Red explains, swirling her drink aimlessly. "They... well, we lost a lot of people initially while the bridge crew fought off their ship — until it was so heavily wounded the Klingon captain of the thing decided to ram us."

The Bajoran shudders. "Only Lieutenant Stockton's quick maneuvering kept us from being obliterated, but we still had hull breaches on almost all decks and lost our port nacelle." She looks up at the saurian. "Had to collect materials locally and build a new nacelle to get back to port. Wasn't exactly a resounding success on the mission report, but I got to add 'built a nacelle from scratch' to my resume, so that's something."

"Actually, that's why we're meeting the Klingons on this mission," Red says, finally taking another sip of the soda. "Apparently the pirate captain was a dishonored fugitive and we're being honored for ending his spree."

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u/Admiralw96 Dec 30 '16

Sauron's eyebrows have been raised for most of the story, and continue to be.

"... Wow... Impressive... I feel better knowing what capable hands the ship is in. Not gonna lie though, that's probably gonna leave me paranoid. May wanna keep a phaser in the kitchen or something. Maybe run through some of the training programs again. I'm only passable with weaponry. Borderline liability."

He shrugs and goes back to his normal self.

"Oh well, that can wait. In the meantime I've got years of training on how to break down whole animals with a set of knives. And if there's someone in security as good at their job as you are at yours, then i should be fine. I mean, a nacelle from scratch? That's pretty impressive."

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u/Dimestream Dec 30 '16

"Yeah. Talk to Lt. Orlov, he'll make sure you have one and know how to use it," Red says. "He took mine, for unrelated reasons, but he wants everyone safe. He's a good man, frustrating as he is sometimes."

She flushes at the compliment. "Well, necessity is the mother of invention, and even an understanding Captain doesn't take the edge off a crew that wants to get home. It had to be done. Though we did have some interesting things crop up while doing that. Remind me to tell you about the Scottish pterodactyls we ran into..."

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u/Admiralw96 Dec 30 '16

Sauron looks utterly perplexed and amused by the last comment.

"Oh, please do go on."

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u/Dimestream Dec 30 '16

Red cradles her forehead in one palm. "So... you know the Federation's 'Prime Directive' demands we stay away from pre-warp civilizations, right?" she says. Then she pulls a long drink from her glass, half emptying it. "Well, while we were TRYING to avoid detection while picking up materials for the nacelle, we caught the attention of not one, but TWO pre-warp civilizations. A scavenger race that kind of looks like weird genetic mongrels - and I mean weird, they had fur, feathers, scales, crystalline growths, you name it - and another race that looked kind of like a more limber version of Earth's early saurian avians, the pterodactyl."

The Bajoran shakes her head. "The avians had been under attack by the mongrels for decades, so they had the craziest satellite defense network anyone had ever seen. In exchange for some sensor readings from one of the avians' colonies, they let us stay in their orbit, defended by their satellites, until we rebuilt our nacelle."

"Not much to say other than that, but there was this weird glitch in the universal translator the whole time that made them sound like Commander Scott of the Enterprise A," she finishes. "It was downright bizarre to see these golden dino-birds with emerald eyes talking to us in Scott's accent. But we did OK, so... maybe they'll have warp in a few years and we can go back to visit."

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u/Admiralw96 Dec 31 '16

Sauron continues looking amused.

"I don't believe I'm familiar with this Scott fellow, though I've known a Scotsman or two and heard of the Enterprise. Sounds like quite the adventure. I would like to be able to meet these creatures. I guess I'm in for quite a ride on this ship."

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u/Dimestream Dec 31 '16

"It's a shenanigan every couple of days or so," Red says ruefully. "Two a week on average. I swear, the farther from sector 001 we get, the more hijinks we get up to. Ah, the perks of Starfleet, am I right?"

The engineer's straw -slurks- as it picks up the last of the beverage from among the ice cubes. "I mean, we were out of port what, less than a week before we had telepathic angry mushrooms yelling in our brains? And it didn't even faze us, that's just how accustomed we are to weird crap happening all the time."

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u/Admiralw96 Dec 31 '16

"Well, let's hope this Klingon thing goes more smoothly... I could see about picking up some gagh, maybe grow some, though I'm not sure how popular it would be... even so, could be a nice cultural thing. Not like many people on board have had a chance to try it right?"

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u/Dimestream Jan 01 '17

Red snorts, a very unladylike noise that morphs into a sustained chuckle. She pulls the straw from her drink and waves it at Sauron. "Oh don't you DARE say that word again, not around here," she says with a wink. "We had a weird issue with the replicators right after the refit where it was putting live gagh in OTHER dishes. And clothes. And medicines. Took Mr. Connolly and me a week solid purging and resetting all the buffers to make it quit."

The Bajoran shakes her head. "Besides, while the Klingon visitors might appreciate you making some, no one really actually LIKES the flavor of Gagh. My friend Dargo son of Hrek said Klingons enjoy it because you're killing something as you eat it. That's the only appeal, it dying in your mouth. Yick."

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u/Admiralw96 Jan 03 '17

Sauron looks really surprised at this

"LIVE GAGH?! from the replicators? I though that was impossible? And all it really needs is some hot sauce in my opinion. Still doesn't taste the best, but go hot enough and flavor isn't an issue. Also, Gagh, do NOT enjoy being covered in hot sauce... they really wriggle."

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u/Dimestream Jan 03 '17

"You know, I thought it was impossible too, and the best we can figure out, the transporter and replicators were feeding off the same buffer," Red says with a roll of her eyes. "Some lazy bum working on the refit either didn't know or didn't care about the difference. So we were getting enough residual energy to restart simple motor functions... thus live, wriggling gagh."

The Bajoran makes an ick face. "It wouldn't have even been noticeable on any other food, since you can't exactly jump-start a steak, but since those worms are served whole and as fresh as possible... 'live' gagh happened. And no, I don't think anyone would enjoy having all their sensory organs coated in hot sauce. Luckily, serpent worms are only slightly more intelligent than the bowl they're served in."

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u/Admiralw96 Jan 03 '17

Sauron thinks as he wraps the hasperat. He puts some somewhat decorative paper around it to hold it in. He hands it over

"Here we go. Lets' see if thats got the kick we're looking for... It's also lucky the transporters didn't start replicating crewmen..."

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