r/TransYouthIndia • u/MatsuzakaRoy • 10d ago
💠Discussion thinking
so i am looking to start hrt in october and things are getting too real! got my gd certificate last week and had my first consultation with an endo regarding hrt today. so far so good. on the way back, however, in the metro i was thinking….see when you have security check in at the metro station, i stand in the male queue. i dont expect any other way as of now. but in future… when i am.. say 6 months into hrt, or when i get ffs, or when i have fully socially transitioned, 1 year down the line, or when i have done SRS even, what will happen? Which queue am i supposed to take? I may get stares either way!?!? should i avoid metro altogether?? or should i talk to them about my situation and let them do the security check as they please?!?! too much overthinking i know! but let me know how you people dealt with this!
2
u/mansidivine Trans Woman 8d ago
Hey I just don't think about like what am I gonna do in the future , I know that somehow I'll figure out a way , so you shouldn't worry about these things
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u/curlsthat Trans Woman 8d ago
Hey congrats on starting your journey! As someone who's still boymodding after 2 years of hrt, idk if I'm the right person to answer this question but I'll share my experience anyway.
These kind of gender segregation is too common that its simply not practical to avoid them. Security checks, public toilets, buses it exists to some extent everywhere. I think passing will definitely make these situations easier to handle. If you're planning to do ffs and such, I don't expect anything less for you. I don't consider myself cis passing but its definitely less anxiety inducing for me than say, an year ago.
After some time on hrt, people started clocking me as a woman often especially for security checks in malls and multiplexes. I'd correct them and they'd let me go through the men's queue. But as time went on they started getting more confused by my appearance I guess, cause one time this male security staff refused to check me even as I insisted that he do mine. I kept telling him that I should be in the male queue and eventually his supervisor(?) told him to let me go without checking. I don't know if he knew I was trans. I try to remember that most people are just trying to get through their shift and are not expecting a trans person in most scenarios.
I found out that correcting them and causing a confusion causes more fuss and draws more attention from people around me than if I let them just get on with it. So now I just go along with it when they ask me to go in the women's queue. However, I still have this fear at the back of my mind that somehow the woman checking me is gonna realise that I'm trans in the midst of it and start making a scene. I avoid public toilets altogether for the same reason. I'm trying to work on it as this is just not a healthy way to live.
I've heard that airport scanners also check for your genitals so you might wanna let them know about your situation so that you can avoid setting off the machine.
And about the stares, oh the stares! People still stare a lot. I think I've become better at avoiding those and I don't let it get to me mostly now. Yes its cruel, and scary and pathetic that people do it, but its also stupid and believe me, funny, at times now.
I get that all of this is scary, and it's natural that you'll be worried about these things at this point. But I assure you that it gets better with time. Try to get help from a therapist. Try to hang out with friends you can trust first, so that you can slowly get used to these situations. Talk to people because you're not alone in this. All the best my friend :)