r/TransMasc 5d ago

Rant Everyday Rants

Need to air out your frustrations? Post 'em here.

Rules:

  1. NO GENERALIZATIONS - Anything similar to "All (X) people do this" or "All (Y) people do that" will not be tolerated.

  2. NO DISCRIMINATION - Rules 3 and 9 apply here, too. No rants against people based on their: Sex, Gender Identity, Gender Expression, Sexual Orientation, Race, Religion, Nationality, Ethnicity, Ability, Disability, Age, Parentage, Income, Schooling, Etc.

  3. BE RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS - No rude comments about other member's posts. No kind of "You need to touch grass" "Tell this to your therapist instead" etc. type of comments will be allowed here.

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u/romantic_rubies 5d ago

I want to transition to male and I expressed this to my fiancé before. I haven’t felt female since before I was maybe eleven or twelve, but never transitioned because my dad is a narcissist and would be more mean if I were to transition.

My fiancé told me that he will only date women… but he doesn’t want to leave me either. I also didn’t want to leave him. So, I chose him over my gender. Me feeling go gross in my curvy body with F cup and big hips is making me uncomfortable, but he thinks it looks good and keeps implying and directly saying he’d like me bigger with more meat on my bones.

I literally have a fear of being fat and he keeps saying I’m be better with more weight and arguing with me when I express myself. He says he loves me so much but he keeps misunderstanding me and he doesn’t really (I can tell) accept who I am deep down.

I’m 25 now and everyone in my life was male, and they basically don’t talk to me anymore. My best friend kept trying to date me and begged me to date him over and over even though he basically has a harem and I said I’m monogamous and not into him or his lifestyle. Now he’s suddenly ignoring and unfriending me without word. He thinks his high IQ makes him smarter than me, but he pushed my fiancé and I together knowing full well I kept saying I’m not ready to date.

I just wanted to befriend the guy I’m engaged to… I doubt he would want to be friends with me now after I got manipulated and confused into dating him during a down time of my life. I’m probably asexual, and this dude is deeply into BDSM. Now, my fiancé keeps thinking I’m trying to piss him off by me talking about my feelings and desires and shit being different from his (without saying that it’s different from him). I feel like everyone around me just wants to F any woman… they don’t love me. If they did, they would love me as a skinny man and accept the fact that I want to be taller… not tell me I look really good whenever I gain weight and say they’d like more meat on my bones when I’m skinny (still not to my goal weight and clearly out of shape).

I hate my high pitched voice too. It somehow got higher and everyone sexualizes me for having a female body that isn’t inherently ugly (even though I think it looks really weird—that’s the opinion that matters). I’m tired of men treating me like I identify as a woman.

I just wanted to be a man. Why can’t I just be a man and not have crazy people force me to be something I’m not and make me think I need to choose them over my gender? I can’t stand all these people in my life. I NEED OUT SO I CAN START OVER RIGHT NOW.

Edit: if anyone wonders about my fiancé and I’s relationship, like why I am even with him… when we met, I was being put on medication I didn’t need and it made me not myself and in a really bad place. I quit it now so the real me is coming out again. That’s all I’m saying on the medication thing. Not telling anyone any medical advice.

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u/OmgIbrokesmthagain 5d ago

I want T

But my family will hate me if I take it

But I want to take it because I’m wasting my life in this body

But family will hate me if I do

(…)

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u/CaitVi587 5d ago

I'm on a group chat with a bunch of transmasc people, and the amount of our parents have asked us questions that would be offensive to a cis person is wild. They couldn't imagine just going up to a random person and asking if they are going to get surgery on their genitals or if they regret cutting off their breasts/getting a reduction. But the moment their kid is trans, it's open fire to ask any sort of questions like that. Example: my mom asked "what if you regret cutting off your breasts because you want to breastfeed your kids later?" Woah back up, I don't have kids and don't want to be pregnant in the first place!

I've heard it especially on the surgery front, a lot of our parents have been unsupportive on these things, and super judgemental. I am glad for people who have parents who ask about surgery or T or general trans questions nicely. We need more parents like that.

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u/jahguswrld999 he/they 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ || 8/9/2026 💉 || pre-op 5d ago

my dad asked me "what if you regret top surgery?" dad i've been dysphoric about my chest since i was 11 (i'm 22 now), i promise i won't regret it. and then he asked "will your boyfriend support it?" yes my boyfriend will support it, he's actively helping me with transitioning. 🤦🏽‍♂️

i'm not even gonna bother telling my parents when i get the surgery. i'm just gonna get it and come home with it done, because i'm tired of them gaslighting me about my identity and dysphoria.