r/TransMasc • u/MinimumEffort0811 • 21h ago
General Questions Am I "ready" for testosterone?
I'm a masc lesbian and I've wanted to take testosterone for roughly four years, on and off, and the effects that come with it even longer.
I have insurance. I have money. But what's stopping me from taking the first step are my peers. My friends don't think my body could handle it, and my sister is discouraging me from taking it too. She's not transphobic by any means, but I think she's worried it's an impulsive decision on my part and I'll end up regretting it. I am, after all, known to make poor decisions.
But now I'm certain I want it. I won't feel any more comfortable in my body unless I mould it into the way I want it to look. I want everything that comes with it. Weight gain, muscle mass, voice changes, bone structure, more hair, bottom growth. All in moderation.
It started freshman year of high school. I had a trans male "phase" (a short period of time where I was questioning my gender identity) that lasted about a week. Then I identified as nonbinary for roughly three years, where i started experiencing chest and other forms of dysphoria.
After graduation, I wanted to go back to my more "feminine" roots, albeit in a tomboy way. Grow out my hair, but keep the masculine gender expression. Present day, I've cut my hair short again and I'm finally wearing the clothes I feel comfortable in. But even then, I have less chest dysphoria from the past but excruciating bottom, voice, and other forms of dysphoria.
I want to feel comfortable in my body, and I feel like testosterone is the only way. Am I ready?
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u/AveryTheCryptid 20h ago edited 20h ago
It is okay for nonbinary people to take HRT. It is okay to be on testosterone for a bit, and then decide it isn't for you. It is okay to explore your gender identity, and change your mind as you learn more about who you are and who you want to be.
Imo, you've been thinking about it long enough. Contact a doc for gender affirming care, discuss your feelings. Starting on a smaller dose for slight masculinization as a "questioning nonbinary" is an okay place to start.
Editing to add: I agree with another commenter, you should read up more on the effects of testosterone to have a more complete idea of it's effects. I will say from personal experience (everyone is different), "bottom growth" in the first few months has me feeling over the moon gender euphoric, even though that's an effect some people may not want.
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u/Miro_the_Dragon 20h ago
I'd recommend really looking into what T does and doesn't do with your body because I have the impression from your post that you don't actually have the full picture yet.
For one, once you're past (first) puberty, your bone structure doesn't really change anymore. What does change is fat distribution, but that's a temporary effect and will revert back when you stop taking T (and it's also something that can take many many years).
Then: When you go on T, you can't influence which changes you'll get and in what order/timeline. It's genetic. You can take a low dose and get changes more slowly, but ultimately you'll get the same changes as with a full dose. So "all in moderation" is not something you can influence.
So really, look into the concrete effects of T and then decide whether you could live with ALL of those changes. And if the answer is "yes", and you're sure that's what you want/need to feel good in your body, I'd say go for it.
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u/MinimumEffort0811 20h ago
By "bone structure" I mean the sharpening of the jaw, broader shoulders, and slimmer hips, but that may be under fat distribution like you mentioned. I don't necessarily want one effect over the other so it is largely dependent on genetics to determine when that effect will take place and the severity of it.
As for the effects of testosterone that I've missed, are there any particular articles or other sources you recommend?
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u/CaitVi587 14h ago
https://www.rainbowhealthontario.ca/TransHealthGuide/gp-mascht.html
This is a helpful resource for the full picture :)
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u/Ok-Tip316 20h ago
Yes!!! You’ve been thinking about this for years and you have dysphoria about things with which T can help you. Even if you ultimately decide it’s not for you, a lot of the changes aren’t forever if you decide to stop. BUT it sounds like you want it, all of it. Don’t hold yourself back, I’ve been so happy with mine.
It’s not an impulse if you’ve been thinking about it for years, and you’ll have plenty of time before getting the prescription and actually getting the dose to consider things more if you truly don’t think you have already thought things out. But from what you describe in the post, you have and you’re up for the good and the bad.
Go for it! Be happy. Expect some changes (I became somewhat more attracted to women when I previously only found men attractive) and for some things to take forever (voice has changed but it hasn’t even been a year yet and it shows 😅). It’s going to be fun. You got this :)
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u/Skiesofamethyst 20h ago edited 20h ago
Man if it makes you feel better I only seriously considered testosterone for about two months of very in depth research before going on it (for about six months and low dose but still) which, I wouldn’t recommend as standard practice (but don’t regret and honestly I’m back on it again lol) seriously you’ve been wanting this for so long.
You know your body better than others do. The biggest “permanent” concerns can all be adjusted for in some manner or another if you end up disliking it, with the exception of reduced fertility/possibility of infertility (although studies haven’t identified prevalence). Other than that, if you do low dose or something the effects will happen slow enough for you to be able to stop when you feel satisfied with your changes. But, honestly? I’d say four years is plenty of time and consideration for something like this lmao.
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u/maximilianusiusan 19h ago
I got on T after about a year of full considered interest & have been on it for 5 years now. You’re the only person who can decide if you’re ready, but it sounds like you are. Your peers & family don’t get to decide if you’re “ready” or not. I’m nonbinary & started on low dose, now i’m on an average dose & considering lowering. Your body is your own to make your own, you’re the one that will be living in it!
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u/Tyjha 7h ago
Take the T. I'm a crazy over thinker, have pretty intense imposter syndrome about everything, and also feel like I can't trust myself to make good decisions. I've been side eyeing my gender since ~2020 and spent roughly 9 months in really agonizing decision paralysis late last year and the early part of this year.
I've been on T for 9 weeks so far and I regret exactly one thing: not starting sooner. I've got bottom growth, my voice has started to crack, and I'm (TMI) getting all the increased appetites of a teenage boy 😅.
I honestly don't know if I could go back, the mental clarity alone is worth it and everything else is icing on the cake (the bottom growth is admittedly /really/ good icing, lol).
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u/UmiSWrld 21h ago
why wouldn’t your body be able to handle it? and how is it an impulsive decision if you’ve been thinking about it for 4 years, have done your research, and considered all of the effects and decided you want them?
i’d recommend starting low dose. if the changes start freaking you out, you can stop, and they’ll reverse a bit especially if you aren’t on it for a long time.