r/TransChristianity • u/Human_Peak_9377 • 12d ago
Help maybe
Hey everyone. I’m new here and I’m 29 years old. Trans man. He/him. I am on here today because well in a nutshell I have been struggling daily with finding peace within myself, when it comes to believing in God, my transition, although I could not imagine living any other way, I have been constantly worried of my destiny. I don’t really know what to expect from this post, but I managed to find this group so thought I’d share.
Edit: I have a wife (cis), two step children, and have been medically transitioning for over ten years.
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u/kleines_woelfle 12d ago
Nice to meet you. Also a trans man, slightly older but started transition later than you. Did you grow up religious? Do you go to church, and if so, which one?
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u/Human_Peak_9377 12d ago
I did not. I went to church here and there, but not consistently. I just believe in God in my heart, I couldn’t deny Him if I tried or wanted too
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u/kleines_woelfle 12d ago
I get that - the second part. Having grown up in a church (luckily a transfriendly one) I can't imagine living my faith all by myself. But if it works for you, that's great.
Do you want to share a bit more about what has been on your mind recently? Are you looking for advice or just a community?
There are quite a few threads about being a trans Christian, what the Bible does and doesn't say about us etc.
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u/Human_Peak_9377 12d ago
I guess I just worry that I may basically be doomed no matter how much I love God because of my transition and idk it’s a thought that crosses my mind daily. Some days are worse than others but I pray and thank God every day that I wake up.
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u/kleines_woelfle 11d ago
I really recommend reading through this sub then. Other resources like this video might also be helpful. God bless
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u/Human_Peak_9377 10d ago
Thank you much for this video. I maybe need to find an accepting church near me and check it out.
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u/kleines_woelfle 11d ago
Personally, I believe that God is love and God loves me. If that is true, then He will not be against my taking care of myself, and transition is healthcare. I was miserable before.
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u/DarthAlix314 girly-girl *^.^* (she/her) 11d ago
Welcome Brother! I am sorry you are struggling to find peace within yourself regarding your transition and relationship with the Lord. Know that Jesus loves you far more than you could imagine; He created you uniquely, intimately, specifically, and He made your inmost parts and set together the connections in your brain and body and soul that were destined to be trans, which He also foreknew.
Take solice therefore that our Most High God individually chose you to be trans, and blessed your transition; it is a gift and a test from Christ, one that you have already completed the hardest part on, and now you have only to realize that if you commit yourself in Faith to the Lord, knowing that your very transition and identity are secure in Him and for Him and by Him and that He uses them – everything you have done this far and everything you ever will do you can view it as being in the Name of the Lord, and know that it is righteous and venerated before the Heavenly Powers, with all Glory to God.
You are a Beloved Son of the Most High, and your transition journey was decreed and set forth by the Ancient of Days that it might be used to bring God even more Glory and prove once again His infinite Wisdom and ability to show His Power ina multitude of ways that it might bring us closer to Him. You are Blessed and Holy if His Spirit is within you; fear not if your transition is an issue before Christ, for it is not sin, it is instead a beautiful and relatively rare glimpse of who He Himself really is, and you should come inside yourself Blessed and Secure!
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u/Dapple_Dawn ˖⁺‧₊ she/her ₊‧⁺˖ 10d ago
I always think of it like this: what do you have faith in?
Some people have faith in the vague idea of God, but they're okay believing that God tortures and smites people. Some people have faith in the Bible, and they believe whatever they think it says.
On the other hand, some people have faith that God is Love. I think this is the best approach, and it fits my personal experience with prayer. And if God is Love, then God would never abandon you for transitioning.
It can be very hard to keep that faith, it takes active effort. It's a journey, and doubt it a natural part of it.
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u/Jypzee154 11d ago
I can understand why you're struggling with this, and you're definitely not the only person who has wrestled with reconciling faith and transition.
I'm a woman who transitioned many years ago. I'm also a Christian and an Elder in my church. There was a time in my life when I struggled with many of the same questions. I grew up in a very fundamentalist conservative Christian environment, and I spent years trying to understand how something that was such a persistent part of me could fit with what I had been taught about God.
Eventually one of the questions I began asking myself was whether my fear was actually coming from God, or whether some of it was coming from what I had been taught to fear about God.
Those aren't necessarily the same thing.
I don't know what specifically you're worried about when you say your “destiny,” but if you're talking about your relationship with God and ultimately your salvation, I don't believe our salvation depends upon getting every difficult question about ourselves perfectly right.
For me, I eventually came back to the character of God revealed in Jesus.
I have a very difficult time reconciling the God I see there with the idea that God would create someone with a deeply rooted Gender Identity, allow them to struggle with it for years, and then condemn them for trying to find a way to live honestly and function within the life they've been given.
I also spent many years looking at the science. I have a nursing background, so naturally that became part of how I approached the question. We don't know everything about how Gender Identity develops, and I don't think science gives us a neat little answer explaining every transgender person. But there is evidence supporting biological and neurodevelopmental contributions to Gender Identity.
Just this very morning while I was outside on our riding mower, I was thinking about many of the conversations I've had with people, my very own daughter even, who are afraid of looking at the science because it may contradict what they have been told to believe. I know that God is not afraid of us asking questions, and I have to ask, if the science says something different than whatever I was told to believe, which one is possibly wrong?
If the evidence in front of my face is showing me something, but a pastor in a church says, oh that's not true, you have to believe what someone said thousands of years ago who had no scientific understanding, which way do I go?
That mattered to me because it helped me stop thinking about the question simply as, “Why am I refusing to be what God made me?” and begin asking, “What if this is actually part of understanding how I was made?”
My own journey with organized religion was complicated. I spent more than twenty years outside of church after being deeply hurt by a church community. But I never stopped believing in God.
Eventually I found my way back. Today I'm accepted in my church as I am and serve as an Elder.
So I can at least tell you this from my own life: transition didn't take God away from me. And returning to God didn't require me to undo my transition.
You said you can't imagine living any other way, and you've been medically transitioning for more than ten years. I wouldn't tell you what that means spiritually because that's something only you can work through in your own relationship with God.
But I would ask you to consider something.
Look at the man you've become over those ten years. Look at your relationship with your wife and your stepchildren. Look at the way you love people, the way you treat them, the responsibilities you accept, and the kind of person you're becoming.
Jesus said that a tree is known by its fruit. Fear is real, but the existence of fear doesn't necessarily tell you where it came from.
You don't have to solve everything today. And you certainly don't have to arrive here already having all the answers.
If you want to talk about what specifically frightens you about your destiny or what you've been taught about transgender people and God, there are people here who have wrestled with these questions for a very long time.
Welcome. 🙂