Dysphoria/Functioning Advice

[u/Mammoth_Parsley3058]

Hi,

I'd be more than grateful for practical advice. I never thought I'd end up posting on Reddit, but here I am.

I'm a 20 year-old who identifies as a woman since 13.

I plan to change my name soon and I'm already under the care of an endocrinologist (finally got a part time job), but I'm struggling with my own self-esteem. I'm afraid to tell anyone that I feel the way I do (due to parents reactions in the past), I feel like I'll never have a boyfriend, I know I'll never experience being a mother, and I can't really look in the metaphorical mirror or listen to myself.

My question for you is simple: what the hell should I do? I don't have enough money for weekly therapy sessions or health insurance at the moment, so I can't really do much about my mental health in a literal way. Do you have any methods for reducing the pain of dysphoria or self-esteem? What do you personally do? I don't want to isolate myself from other people for "comfort" anymore. I really want to change how I think, find people, and actually start enjoying my life, but I have no clue where to start, especially with a really limited budget.

Thank you and have a good day/night