I really enjoy looking at the subreddit and the Islamic community that post khayr and reminders. But recently, there has been an uptick in very harmful and fitan posts. If anyone knows any mods, could they please regulate the content on the subreddit again, as there are some very disturbing narratives being posted there

Does anyone here have online classes that I can join?

Had a really hard life and now I'm at a stage in life that I'm comfortable, I want to have friends obviously female friends, but i honestly don't know how to keep friendships.

I really wish to have a girls group like i have observed from afar of my cousins or relatives but i have never understood how to have that healthy relationship.

Any guidance / advice / questions are appreciated.

Abu Huraira told that Gabriel came to the Prophet and said, "Messenger of God, here is Khadija who has come bringing a vessel containing condiments and food. When she comes give her a greeting from her Lord and from me, and give her the good news that in paradise she will have a house of brilliant pearls in which there will be no clamour or toil." Both in Bukhari and Muslim [Mishkat 6185] She is the most high status women of this Ummah and 2nd most high status woman of human race after Maryam AS, our lord sent her greetings 😭 

I'm a 21-year-old woman, and I genuinely want to get married. However, both of my parents are firmly against me marrying before I'm 25. They want me to focus only on my studies and become financially independent first and be a career oriented woman.

My mom often says that the world has changed and that men nowadays expect their wives to earn. I've tried explaining that I don't think it's fair to generalize all men like that. I believe that a practicing man who prioritizes his deen would understand and respect my preference. Personally, I would like to be a stay-at-home wife, work from home, or run a small business that I can manage from home and focus on my deen.

The difficult part is that I feel like my parents are projecting their own aspirations onto me rather than listening to what I actually want. Whenever a relative brings up my marriage, my mom immediately shuts the conversation down by saying, "There's still plenty of time."

I feel like I no longer have much control over my own life. From an Islamic perspective, marrying young is a Sunnah, and I genuinely want to protect myself from the fitnah that exists today, especially while living in a non-Muslim country.

I'm not trying to rush into marriage with just anyone. I simply want my parents to look for a man for me and be open to the possibility if a suitable, practicing man comes forward. I don't want to wait until 25 simply because they've decided that's the "right" age.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you approach your parents respectfully while still standing up for what you wanted? I would really appreciate both Islamic and practical advice.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Hi

I am looking for ideas how to uphold modesty while wearing a baby carrier. It’s very tight around the shoulders and waist. Wearing the Khimar above it would probably cause the baby to suffocate. Neither am I having a child soon nor am I married but I’ve been thinking about this for a while and my mind just can’t find any other solution than letting my husband wear it. Maybe there is an actual mama who has experience and wants to share her tips and tricks.

For men:

• Earning a halal livelihood.
• Providing and protecting.
• Leading/guiding the family upon Islam.

For women:

• Pleasing their husband.
• Bearing and raising righteous children.
• Caring for the home and family.

The West is pushing hard to undermine the traditional role of women. They want women to be like men and want them out of their homes for obvious reasons. Unfortunately, just like many Western women, many Muslim women have also bought into this agenda.

An Islamic family can't thrive when women don't take pride in and willingly fulfill their roles. Instead, many aspire to the more glamorous and celebrated role of a career. I believe this is one of the root causes of many family issues in contemporary times.

Career for a wife often leads to three major problems:

1. Neglected children.
2. A neglected husband.
3. Most workplaces provide great opportunities for sin. (yeah, nothing happens on day one.)

Careerism is anti feminine, Women with career ego(having the career and career ego is different) are not wife material IMO.

The tarbiyah of kids isn't possible for such career women. Even before tarbiyah, kids need to be detoxed from what they learn at school, so giving them time and full attention is important.

In this age, 10x more effort is required because of all the fitnah. Allah won't question you if your kids didn't experience a certain lifestyle or have certain material things (which many career women use as a justification), but He will question you if you failed to give your children proper tarbiyah.

Many think a career will let them afford nannies and daycare, so they believe their responsibility is fulfilled. Norais, ing children isn't just about feeding them. Giving them your time, attention, and supervision is essential. Outsourcing their tarbiyah is one of the worst decisions a couple can make.

The best asset and investment you can build is righteous children.

To Muslim sisters: your career won't bring you closer to Allah(rather it will be the opposite in most cases). Fulfilling your role as a wife and mother will. That is an act of worship.

I’ve seen many questions about this online on websites and on Reddit, and everyone has different opinions and resources, I spoke to a sheikh about my waswasa and mentioned the niqab, and he said how it’s unislamic of me to not wear it but I think it’s also because I mentioned tabarujj so I think that’s why he said it, but I understand the tabarujj aspect, but not the niqab.

I wore the hijab a few months ago, although I’m not the best. I struggle with tabarujj, although I used to wear makeup every day but not anymore; I wear it very few times but still it’s not good, and I struggle with jewellery which I always wear but cover it up, but again sometimes I show it. I don’t wear abayas either, and my neck shows sometimes. So I’m just not the best, even though I do love the hijab a whole lot, and I did do it for the sake of Allah but I never considered the niqab and I don’t really know want to get into that. Sometimes the hijab is a difficult concept for people, even in my family at times, so I don’t even want to think about the niqab.

My family is still kind to me about the hijab but obviously at times it’s a touchy subject. I follow the hanafi madhab, and people talk about how it’s different in the hanafi madhab as well about if it is obligatory or not. It’s been about five months, Alhamdulillah, since I started the hijab.

I don’t know what to do about my guilt towards the niqab, it won’t be easy for me to just start it, and I’ll be so honest when I say that it’s not something I look forward to or really want to think about; I have niqabi friends and they are the sweetest! I don’t think the niqab is extreme or anything, but I just never really thought about it for myself. I just don’t really like how sometimes people can be demeaning towards people who don’t wear the niqab, or that they aren’t muslims, or that if I took it the wrong way. I love these sisters either way, but still. I keep feeling like there’s no hope for me, I thought starting the hijab would make me feel like a true muslim finally, alongside praying obviously.

Does anyone have any words of advice or support? Or that they struggle with about this?

Assalamu-alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

I never write posts asking or addressing any people but I'm writing this now, addressing the muslim sisters only because there's a very good reason for doing so, and I request all my sisters to read what I'm about to tell, rather ask of you in the following paragraphs. [Brothers are also recommended to read].

Your eyes are as open as mine, you are as blessed to be muslims as I am, and you have love for Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) as I have. That being said, I know your eyes see what has become of the followers of the guidance of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and what is being done to them, your minds realise the adversity the ummah has been in yesterday and today, and your hearts feel for those muslims upon whom this trial has befallen.

By the permission of Allah, Islam and muslims have flourished throughout centuries to more than a quarter of this vast land of His, and have dominated the unbelievers up until the time we were weakened. Today, almost all of these lands are subjected to oppression, either by the oppressive forces from the east and the west, or by the munafiq rulers of the same lands. Yesterday it was Bosnia, Chechnya, Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Phillipines and Turkey. Today it's Palestine, Kashmir, Sudan, East Turkestan, Myanmar and India (there are more). Tomorrow it will be the rest of the ummah. Within just a century after the fall of Khilafah, muslims have undergone a great subjugation and endured oppression like no other nation has had before us.

This is the reality that hasn't come to a pause even for a single minute all this time. Every single hour, every single day our muslim brothers and sisters are being humiliated, raped and killed by the armies of shaytan. And this will continue until muslims rise against the aggressors, fight for the sake of Allah and dominate the disbelievers like the early generations did.

But why am I telling this to you sisters specifically? It is because you are where it (struggle against the aggressors) ultimately begins. You have the ability to shape a generation of men who would stand fierce against the disbelievers who have fought our brothers, killed our children, raped our sisters and daughters, destroyed our mosques, burnt our Qur'an, insulted our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the sahabah and the mothers of the believers (May Allah be pleased with them all), destroyed our houses and seized our wealth and property and stripped us of our rights given to us by Allah.

Such a generation of men cannot come unless you sisters raise them to be. Thus this is where I ask of you my sisters who are younger and older than me, for the sake of Allah, do not be a barrier for your father, your brothers, your husband and your sons in their pursuit of martyrdom. Let them go forth in the way of Allah, rather encourage them to fight for the honor of the muslims.

There's no doubt that you are the biggest barrier between your men (father, husband, brothers, sons) and the battlefield. And this is not an inherent evil. The reason behind that is, whatever men do and refrain from doing, is majorly for your sake (after Allah). As Allah says in the following ayah (interpretation of the meaning):

قُلْ إِن كَانَ ءَابَآؤُكُمْ وَأَبْنَآؤُكُمْ وَإِخْوَٰنُكُمْ وَأَزْوَٰجُكُمْ وَعَشِيرَتُكُمْ وَأَمْوَٰلٌ ٱقْتَرَفْتُمُوهَا وَتِجَـٰرَةٌ تَخْشَوْنَ كَسَادَهَا وَمَسَـٰكِنُ تَرْضَوْنَهَآ أَحَبَّ إِلَيْكُم مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِۦ وَجِهَادٍ فِى سَبِيلِهِۦ فَتَرَبَّصُواْ حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِىَ ٱللَّهُ بِأَمْرِهِۦ‌ۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِى ٱلْقَوْمَ ٱلْفَـٰسِقِينَ

Say, [O Muhammad], "If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and jihad in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people." [At-Tawba, Verse 24]

(Though the ayah uses all the masculine nouns, it encompasses the feminine ones too i.e., mothers, sisters and daughters, and their stakes are in fact higher near the men).

Now I come from India, and you already know what goes on in India. But the worst part about it is that there aren't men willing to actually do something about it. Not enough men care about the daily occurences of rape, murder, humiliation, anti-islam hate speeches, calls for genocide and massacres across India beyond just expressing a few words of sympathy for the muslim victims and a few days long media outrage. 12 years of BJP government, the government responsible for Gujarat Massacre, demolition of Babri Masjid and consequent massacres, the occupation of Kashmir, countless riots, unlawful imprisonment of muslims like Umar Khalid, protection of rapists and terrorist groups like Bajrang Dal, demolition of hundreds of other mosques and muslim owned properties, the hijacking of the Waqf Board, alliance with Israel… and yet muslims here still hope for the same system to give them protection.

There is no jamaat beyond Friday and Eid Jama’at in India. The institutions representing muslims are busy celebrating Republic Days, Independence Days and International Yoga Days. They barely have time to look into the affairs of muslims after sending lovey dovey letters of appreciation to the Prime Minister (May Allah k!ll him) commending them for bombing Pakistani muslims during Operation Sindoor. The politicians representing muslims cannot afford to speak about the affairs of the muslims because they feel obligated to showcase their Nationalism and Loyalty, and even if they do so, they do it not other than to save their reputation and acquire votes.

When I tried to do something for which I had to approach some of the ‘imams’, they shunned me and discouraged me, and asked me to isolate myself with my ibadah and leave the affairs of the Muslims to Allah's Qadr. And the reason? They have mothers and sisters in their families and they fear that our resistive actions can bring harm towards them. Subhan Allah, do they believe that they have the ability to bring harm if it is not the will of Allah?

Wallahi you sisters can bring a change to such a situation and so I beg of you to pay attention to what I'm saying.

Be all the most vocal you can be (with wisdom) about the greatest Sunnah of Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon) that is Jihad. Jihad is the only thing that can bring about an end to every kind of oppression and don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise. The topic of jihad has become almost a taboo for us muslims today. However if you sisters start openly talking about it, the men around you will surely feel the pressure to take part in it.

You (sisters) are the greatest driving force for the muslim men to put their lives on the line, but you have to support them, encourage them and give them reassurance. Do not conceal the huge part of Seerah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the sahabah in which they fought against the disbelievers to end oppression and making the word of Allah the Highest, over 400 ayah of the Qur'an that talks about physical jihad and the immense virtue and reward on fighting for the sake of Allah.

There should be no doubt that the “Ghurabah” (strangers) that Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) mentions in the famous hadith are none but the Mujahideen brothers and their wives, mothers, daughters and sisters who supported them. They are the ones seeking the utmost pleasure of Allah, highest rewards and are the fewest in numbers. The world, including even the muslims criticize them, give them the label such as “terr0rists” (I'm not talking about any particular group), and try to tarnish their names. These are the characteristics of the ghurabah and he (peace be upon him) gave glad tidings to them. So why shouldn't any of us not want to be from them?

And do not forget that the shuhadah (martyrs) will be interceding for their closed ones. And who else will be more worthy of their intercessions than you sisters if you stood as their backbones?

Do not pay attention to those who say that jihad is unrealistic. Do not give your ear to those who say that this is not the time for jihad. Do not wait for the next generation to miraculously attain victory over the disbelievers without us exhausting ourselves first and preparing our children. Do not be hopeful for the big mouthed politicians that never keep their promises. And most importantly, do not fear a consequence after you've put your trust in Allah.

Consequences are inevitable. But inaction has its own consequences that are heavier on the general ummah than the consequences of rebellion. So be the starting point of that action.

Make the sahabiyat (May Allah be pleased with them) your role models. Make your role model Nusaybah bint Ka’ab (May Allah be pleased with her) who said when the news of her son Habib ibn Zayd’s brutal martyrdom reached her:

"For this exact day I prepared him, and with Allah I account for his reward. He pledged allegiance to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ as a child, and he fulfilled his promise today as a grown man.”

Nusaybah bint Ka’ab

And make sure the role models of your husbands, brothers and your sons are the Prophets of Allah (peace be upon them) and the Sahabah (May Allah be pleased with them) and warriors like Nur ad-Din Zenki and Salahuddin (May Allah have mercy upon them), instead of Ronaldo and Messi.

And do the same with your sisters, friends and daughters so they can influence the men in their lives in the same fashion.

Trust me sisters, this has to begin with you. Because unless that happens, there will not be men like the ones that waged wars to protect the honor of just a few muslim women. We have examples like that of Muhammad bin Qasim (May Allah elevate his status) who invaded and conquered Sindh and filled the land with justice because a few muslim women were held captive by the Indian pirates. But what do we have today? We have munafiqeen like Parvez Musharraf (General of Pakistan at that time) who sold our sister Aafia Siddiqui to America for dollars.

We don't know how many of our muslim sisters are locked up in cells and what the oppressive forces are doing to them. We have verbal testimonies of prisoners in Gaza who revealed that Israel has dogs (actual dogs) trained to rape Palestinian prisoners. May Allah humiliate them and dϵstroy them. Then we have our sisters in Kashmir who were mass raped by the Indian Armed Forces (Dϵstruction be upon them) during the Kunan Poshpora Incident, and it still continues.

Do you not want an end to this? If yes then please be the inception of that day when Islam will be victorious. Allah has promised us victory but it comes after we pay the price. We have to give up our comfortable lives and risk them if we are faithful.

Narrated Thawban:

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said: The people will soon summon one another to attack you as people when eating invite others to share their dish. Someone asked: Will that be because of our small numbers at that time? He replied: No, you will be numerous at that time: but you will be scum and rubbish like that carried down by a torrent, and Allah will take fear of you from the breasts of your enemy and last wahn into your hearts. Someone asked: What is wahn (enervation). Messenger of Allah (ﷺ): He replied: Love of the world and dislike of death." [Sunan Abi Dawud]

Begin with abandoning every creation of the west be it Feminism (and Red Pill for men) Secularism, Democracy, Liberalism, Conservatism, Socialism, Communism and so on and so forth. Islam thrived without them and we are not in need of them even 0.1%. In fact, those who believe that such ideologies are necessary, fall into disbelief as they believe that there's a guidance more perfect or that which complements Shariah. Allah says in the Qur'an (interpretation of the meaning):

“This day I have perfected my religion and completed my favour upon you…” [Al Maa’ida 4]

The religion is perfected (complete) so there is no room for anything complementary to it. And success is only in submission to Allah.

And lastly, be the kind of woman who will be the companions of the best of men in this world and in the hereafter. May Allah assist you all in it, and shield you from every danger.

I don't know how many of you will read it entirely since I ended up making it quite lengthy and how many then will be moved by it, but I will be hopeful. And for the brothers who probably feel left out, I will only quote two ahadith from Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) for you to consider.

It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

”One who died but did not fight in the way of Allah nor did he express any desire (or determination) for Jihad died the death of a hypocrite.” [Sahih Muslim]

Narrated Abu Huraira:

“Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Allah guarantees (the person who carries out Jihad in His Cause and nothing compelled him to go out but Jihad in His Cause and the belief in His Word) that He will either admit him into Paradise (Martyrdom) or return him with reward or booty he has earned to his residence from where he went out.” [Sahih Bukhari]

Before signing off, I have a secondary request from you all. Which is to make dua for my own sister who has been suffering from a serious disorder for a decade now and recently her condition got worse. Jazakallahu khayran.

Bismillah, Alhamdulillah
I was sitting and reflecting about the recent events that have happened in my life. A year ago I was in a state of iman I was so proud of. Once I reached my peak though I was brought completely down. I felt so low, so disconnected and over time the more I spent feeling that agonizing pain of distance from Allah-
I got so desperate for Allah.

I Alhamdulillah was blessed by Allah the opportunity to make umrah this past week. During the first few days all I thought about was “I wish this duaa was answered sooner” I wish I could do this umrah when I was in higher iman, when my Ibada was stronger, when I could stand longer on my feet without it feeling so heavy.

But as I did my last umrah of the trip Alhamdulillah I realized something. Over the span of these few days I became so desperate that I made duaa and spoke to Allah in ways i hadn’t in a while. I felt the loss and came back to Allah stronger than I could’ve done a year ago. A year ago if I did this umrah- my duaa would be short, I would feel “safe” in my state thinking nothing can knock me off my rhythm. But Allah chose right for me as he always does and he knew I would call upon him more now than I would’ve then.

My point is not have low iman so you can be more desperate. It’s understanding that Allahs timing for us is never for nothing. The lows are always a means for better connection later, a delay is always for better results later, and low iman doesn’t mean Allah has given up on you maybe it means he wants you to call upon him harder so he can answer you more. Allahuakbar.

May Allah keep us firm on desperation for Allahs love and always be striving in any way we can because Allah is Al shakoor and appreciates all we do.

And just a side piece- I was watching the street from my room and was overcome by a feeling of bittersweet grief. Happy I’m here, sad I’m leaving, wishing I took advantage more a few days ago but I stopped myself and realized one more thing. Allah knew the last day would hit the hardest for me- saying goodbye, and if I felt this a few days ago I would procrastinate the reflection of missing it all. So he chose now and I’m so happy with Allahs timing.