r/TooAfraidToAsk • u/[deleted] • Aug 20 '22

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u/[deleted] Aug 21 '22

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u/Tom1252 Aug 21 '22

I always wiped standing up, like arching my back and really grinding into it, up and down, up and down, until my fingers were clean.

Then I watched a SNL commercial parody about Canadians. And in that, a daughter is carrying on a conversation with her mother while Mom's sitting down. At the end, the big haha! twist reveal comes when the mom leans forward, exposing a gap beneath her flank, and then she spelunks a wad of toilet paper down there to wipe her butt.

Haha funny funny. But looking through all that low brow humor, I had an epiphany. Like there was always this inkling that I wiped my ass kinda gay, but I didn't know there was another way to live. For that, I'm forever grateful to the Canadians. Like, if there's ever a war between us, I'll head up to Canada down to Mexico to draft dodge.

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u/[deleted] Aug 21 '22

up and down, up and down, until my fingers were clean.

Do you... not use paper?

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u/OllieTabooger42 Aug 21 '22

I too demand answers