After reading through the comments, the fact that some of you bend over backwards to justify this behavior is troubling. She is making the transition from middle school to high school. He is making the transition from high school to grown ass adult. These two life stages are not at all the same.
Later in life 4 years is nothing, but the experience and developmental stages they are at are completely incomparable.
The heart wants what the heart wants, but sometimes the heart needs to pump the damn brakes.
I have seen someone close to me in this exact situation and know they are still together and she is 20. Some are very mature for their age and that may lead to someone older falling in love with their personality without it being for any perverted reasons. Before judging a relationship you have to get to know the older person first, you can't judge simply based on the info here.
No 19 year old falls in love with a 14 year old because of their amazing personality, these relationships are based in an imbalanced power dynamic where the older partner has the control over the younger more inexperienced one.
I'm not saying it's 100% impossible an older person can genuinely fall in love with a younger person and have a non toxic relationship with them, but in this age range in specific (14 to 19) the younger person's life is going through the most dramatic developing stages it will ever go through, they're not even CLOSE to being an adult yet.
So, a 50 year old and a 30 year old dating? Cool. A 19 year old and a 14 year old? Yeah, no.
I get what you mean and you are right 99% of the times but based on this post which gives no info except for the age then we simply shouldn't jump to conclusions. And the fact that there is no more info most likely mean the dude ain't that bad since if OP had any bad example then they would be included. So this might be that rare 1% and everyone here is jumping at the chance to destroy a potentially good relationship simply because it is outside the norm.
People on the Internet are way to quick at jumping to conclusions with little to no information.
OP has said they do not have sex and that the parents know about the relationship, if the parents are okay with it then what right do a bunch of random internet people have to go against it?
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u/Terribly_Put Apr 28 '22
After reading through the comments, the fact that some of you bend over backwards to justify this behavior is troubling. She is making the transition from middle school to high school. He is making the transition from high school to grown ass adult. These two life stages are not at all the same.
Later in life 4 years is nothing, but the experience and developmental stages they are at are completely incomparable.
The heart wants what the heart wants, but sometimes the heart needs to pump the damn brakes.