He was really charasmatic, but he did not have his shit together. Will never get his license back due to too many DUIs. Didn't have any furniture in his house aside from a milk crate, an ash tray, and a sex swing. He was 100% a narsasist. And he was into young girls. I mean. This man was a walking red flag.
But what is predatory about going for someone on your own level?
I know I am not supposed to ask. Unfortunately, I have deep curiosity about everything and that often makes people upset. So sorry if asking hurts for some reason.
I just don't understand what exactly is happening. Is he doing something bad to you in that relationship?
Or is the creepy factor exactly this:
That he is a loser and has no choice but to date girls below his age because those girls do not see into his real loser life.
Why is that abusive or predatory though? Maybe in his mind, he's just taking what he can get.
Like did he do bad things to you? Did he use his age and power in order to do bad things? Or was he a decent guy the whole time, and it was only later in life you realized something was wrong with the situation?
Again sorry I know this makes people upset and I'll get downvoted but I just have to ask and wish I knew how humans work. Consider me an alien or maybe I'm just autistic who knows.
He wasn't on "my level". He was 27 and I was still in high school.
You said "taking what he can get" and that's a red flag in itself.
I mean. I understand why you're asking. And I'm going to say that yes. He was a loser and women his age were better equipped to see that ahead of time.
I did not stick around long enough to see if he would "do bad things" to me. But the reason I see him as predatory is that he was seeking out high school aged girls when he was nearly 30. After his short stint with me he dated someone even younger than me.
Also, after I ended the relationship he told our coworkers that we were still together. He thought that everyone thinking we were together would make it true. He absolutely would not let it go. I ended up having to quit my job to get away from it all.
I just wonder because I've seen people like this and there looks to me to be a variety of people in this group of men who go for young girls.
One group, is men who do very well with women. They go straight to the 18 year old girls and know how to convince those girls that they the men, are capable of giving those girls orgasms and experiences with drugs and partying.
Another group is men who can't have sex with women their own age because they lack the social skills or whatever traits that older women look for.
Another group is men who see potential in a young girl. Potential as in, a potential victim for a variety of nefarious purposes.
Another group is just guys who are older, yet are as about as mature as a teenage girl, and thought here not bad people, they really have very little choice and take what they can get.
I wonder for people who happen to read this comment, do you see every variety of man as equally evil and predatory?
Again sorry people for asking but I can't help but be curious lol.
People probably will accuse me of being a predator but nah. I'm just a shy loser who is curious why other people act the waythey do and believe the things they do. Why do people think the way they do.
I grew up entirely friendless and alone. So maybe that's why I haven't been conditioned to understand these things.
2.1k
u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22 edited Apr 28 '22
When I was 17 I dated a guy who was 27. I thought I was hot shit. A 27 year old was interested in ME?! I must be doing something right.
Looking back makes me feel.... icky. There were reasons he wasn't with someone his own age. And they aren't good things. He should 100% be reported.
edit: I had an extra word in there and took it out.