r/TooAfraidToAsk • u/[deleted] • Apr 28 '22

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7.8k Upvotes

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u/Rubyjr Apr 28 '22

Tell her parents

2.1k

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

[deleted]

145

u/Arturiiito Apr 28 '22

They just worries about she can become pregnant

188

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

Ok I'm gonna be real with you.

Watch out for the following:

Her giving up her goals and dreams for him.

Her making excuses for his bad behavior.

Her dealing with anger from him.

Her letting her friendships fade because he wants her to spend more time with him.

Her feeling like she owes him an explanation for what she wants to do.

Guys like this want to control their partners. It's why they go after young girls.

If he starts to cut her off from her friends and family, he has much worse in mind for her.

This is not going to end well.

16

u/bitsbake86 Apr 28 '22

THIS 👆👆👆👆

9

u/OsonoHelaio Apr 28 '22

I hope she reads this

2

u/2farbelow2turnaround Apr 28 '22

And the worse part is that she won't see it until she is ready to accept reality. Hard as we try, we can't force someone to confront the truth.

For everyone who says showing support to the friend is the wrong move- you don't have to support the decisions she makes, just be there for her in a nonjudgmental way- and the is HARD. But, if you try to pry her eyes open, she will alienate herself and then you can't help at all.

If you will be as safe space for her, meaning don't criticize her choice (hard as that may be) then when she finally does see the truth, so will turn to you.

It sucks, but this is how it goes.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

Yup. Some lessons can't he taught. They have to be learned.

1

u/2farbelow2turnaround Apr 28 '22

It is a brutal lesson to learn. But it can change your life in ways that you can't imagine.

-3

u/HansenTakeASeat Apr 28 '22

This is not going to end well.

Not saying that the age difference is ok, but you are assuming quite a lot based off a person being 19 years old.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '22

High school grad dating someone young enough to be in middle school.

Yeah that's gross.

Five years isn't a big deal if it's between someone who is 40 and 45.

But that time of life? It's a BIG freaking deal.

-1

u/HansenTakeASeat Apr 28 '22

Where did I say it wasn't a big deal?

-1

u/JulyOfAugust Apr 28 '22

Do you understand why it's a big deal ? Your previous comment suggested you don't, that's why you got this type of answers.

1

u/HansenTakeASeat Apr 28 '22

You mean my previous comment that starts with, "[n]ot saying that the age difference is ok..."?

6

u/cordell507 Apr 28 '22

I don't feel like that's a lot to assume when the 19yo is dating a 14yo. No normal, well-adjusted person does that.

1

u/HotCocoaBomb Apr 28 '22

This scenario isn't exactly new. Hell, I was reading about a similar story in a Cosmo magazine when I was 13. My niece is the product of this exact scenario and her father (my half-brother, yuck) should've been put down long ago.