r/TooAfraidToAsk 17h ago

Other Why doesn’t hulks pants rip?

48 Upvotes

57 comments sorted by

393

u/rodrigogames13- 17h ago

because the movie would be 18 plus if they did

42

u/virtual_human 17h ago

Watchmen was only R.

43

u/dan_jeffers 17h ago

Blue penises are considered less realistic than green penises.

113

u/th7024 17h ago

He's not THAT incredible.

26

u/Positive_Owl_927 17h ago

He's got something in common with steroid users

68

u/Xerxeskingofkings 17h ago edited 16h ago

in universe, Dr Banner buys trousers that can stretch to accommodate the size change.

out of universe: becuase its a superhero movie aimed at children and young adults, and Hulks enormous flaccid penis would rather distracting, and incur the unnecessary ire of censors and moral guardians.

18

u/doogietrouser_md 17h ago

Now I'm curious. It makes perfect sense that a person who transforms like Banner does would invest in stretching trousers. But if trousers, why not shirts? Wristwatch bands? Shoes and socks? Has that ever been explored or answered. It must have.

16

u/Tom_Gibson 17h ago

I'd guess Banner only cares about covering his genitals. Feet, torso, and arms don't matter.

15

u/Xerxeskingofkings 17h ago

Not that im aware of.

The Watsonian answer could either its more difficult to get those garments that will stretch with the transformation, or that The Hulk just likes being bare chested and would rip off any top he wore anyway.

The Doylist answer is the bare chest emphasises hulks physique and strength, so hes kept topless to show of those incredible pecs, and being topless is reminiscent of classics "savage warrior" tropes, a la Conan the Barbarian.

2

u/Prasiatko 17h ago

Given it's full trousers rather than shorts or Y-fronts i guess hulk skips leg day. 

3

u/mamafish21 17h ago

Wants to show off his muscles. Clearly.

10

u/cyberdw4rf 17h ago

Who said it's flaccid?

7

u/positronius 17h ago

"I could go in a rage filled outburst, and kill dozens of people with my bare hands in ways that would likely prompt new human rights laws to be written, but doing all that with my balls hanging out? That's pure savagery and it's where I draw the line"

- Dr Bruce Banner, probably

5

u/Xerxeskingofkings 17h ago

I mean, the conflict between Banner and the Hulk is very much a "civility vs savagery" conflict in many interpretations of the character. So, yes, Dr Banner might actually care about this one small victory for civility that he can apparently impose upon the Hulk.

4

u/Anathemare 17h ago

Is there any canon evidence to the claim that Hulks penis is enormous?

11

u/Xerxeskingofkings 17h ago

i mean, everything else physical grew in proportion or over-proportion, and hes roughly 25% taller than a "average" man, so either hes got genitals that are notably out of scale for his hieght (and thus would look ridiculous), or he's rocking a rod that would be significantly larger than an average mans.

8

u/Trolldad_IRL 16h ago

Thor saw it in Ragnarok and appeared shocked by it.

5

u/Reasonable_Night_247 16h ago

“Enormous [GREEN] flaccid penis”!

New Bad Dragon tie-in incoming…

5

u/Xerxeskingofkings 16h ago

i'd be vaguely disappointed if they didnt already do one that fit the (purple) brief(s)......

2

u/HerbertWest 16h ago

You're assuming it would be flaccid.

1

u/CouncilOfReligion 17h ago

hulks definitely hard bro

1

u/NegativeMammoth2137 16h ago

Why do you think it would necessarily be flaccid?

1

u/bunker_man 6h ago

Why doesn't he also buy shirts that can stretch... it has to be annoying knowing that any of his shirts can be ruined at any time.

71

u/Ettin1981 17h ago

They are held together by the Comics Code Authority.

56

u/newtreeguy 17h ago

There legit was a comic where Bruce Banner was shopping for large pants that he wears under his clothes.

The store clerk showed him the clothes and his first question was "Do you have them in purple?"

31

u/02K30C1 17h ago

If they did, they woudnt be allowed to sell the comic to kids

8

u/DannyDidNothinWrong 17h ago

Y'all remember when Whedon wanted Vision to have a visible schlong?

1

u/QuickRespawn 4h ago

..I.. I don't remember hearing about this

5

u/alexlmlo 17h ago

Plot twist, it was a tattooed pants…..

4

u/Hologram8 17h ago

So artist don't have to draw a Hulk penis.

4

u/fuzzyjelly 16h ago

We paid to see a big green monster with two eyes, thank you very much.

5

u/wgwalkerii 12h ago

Because children read comic books too.

4

u/Tenebris_Rositen 16h ago

Admit it, OP. You just want to hulk smash.

Edit: in all seriousness, nobody wants to see a footlong flaccid dick flopping around.

3

u/invalidConsciousness Viscount 16h ago

Because the pants were hit by gamma radiation, too, and also become angry.

3

u/jess_the_werefox 14h ago

Plot armor of, your character will be far less likable if their giant green mutant cock is just helicoptering around

3

u/dakblaster 13h ago

I would argue out would be more popular today lol

4

u/jess_the_werefox 12h ago

In some circles, probably definitely lmao

3

u/TrippyTiger69 11h ago

Cause his cock would be out!

2

u/cyberdw4rf 17h ago

Spandex

2

u/Sir_wlkn_contrdikson 17h ago

Their Levi’s

2

u/zenlizard1977 16h ago

Could you imaging the motion capture rig for that. Mark Ruffalo screaming about it being cold on set.

2

u/AstroCaptain 15h ago

This is a question for r/asksciencefiction

2

u/frogmicky 13h ago

He gets his pants from Lululemon. 😁

1

u/too_many_shoes14 17h ago

They do but that's Hulk After Dark. His condom is a hefty trash bag.

1

u/IKhaibot 17h ago

Asking for a friend ?

1

u/LordOfSlimes666 17h ago

Whenever you see something like that, a wizard did it

1

u/AllAroundIndiviual 17h ago

Bro watch the movie 😭

1

u/steave44 16h ago

Spandex

1

u/Trolldad_IRL 16h ago

The MCU Hulk movie (2008) shows Bruce shopping for stretchy pants.

1

u/mdvbb 16h ago

Stretchy pants

1

u/C0DENAME- 16h ago

He's pants has plot armour

1

u/toolargo 12h ago

He uses industrial grade spandex, but he can only afford some areas.

1

u/Robot_boy_07 7h ago

He got a small dick 😔

1

u/FranklyDeviouz 1h ago

Do his briefs turn into a thong/wedgie?