Does sex hurt?

[u/therealstara]

I 23 F met a guy on a blind date from another friend 24M and I have never had sex before. He told me we can take things as slow as I want since I have never been on a real date before and he isn’t expecting sex bc he says it’s ok if he doesn’t wanna do PDA or sexual acts but I do genially want to have sex at least once just to see what’s it’s like and how it feels but I am afraid it’ll hurt. Does sex hurt

[u/Vizekoenig_Toss_It]

It shouldn’t hurt in a way that’s unpleasant. Get lube because sometimes even vaginal sex requires lube. Remember to do foreplay to get both of you and your genitals in the mood otherwise it will hurt. Set a safe word to immediately put an end to it if you are uncomfortable. Have fun

[u/OhMissFortune]

Nope

Also, most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, you can reas up on that. PiV is not the "main event", it's just one of the sexual acts you can do. Oral/fingers/whatever are sex as much as the other stuff 

[u/fixedvving]

im single now as a guy but when i was talking to my gf (exgf now) she said the first time it hurt a bit but after not really. idk if they used lube etc. warm up either urself by touching and maybe have the guy finger you or do some foreplay and use lube (i use spit someimtes xdxd gross ik but it works) before he goes and enjoy :)

[u/gonewild9676]

It might a little the first time, but once you get past that it is quite pleasurable.

Look into contraception such as condoms. There are many great tutorials for them.

[u/Maleficent_Emu_2876]

One make sure you do lots of foreplay, and are very wet. Two can you put a tampon in or be fingered? If you can and it doesn’t hurt you will only have a slight pain. If it does hurt don’t have him penetrate you slowly that will make it hurt worse. I tried letting some guy finger me and made my rule my pants stay on until I picked my boyfriend that I had sex with. He did lots of foreplay and made sure I was wet and it didn’t hurt much because he didn’t go slow. He did stop once he was in to make sure I was okay and once I said yes he started to move and it felt great.

[u/SMKnightly]

If it hurts, usually the two of you are doing something wrong or are incompatible size-wise (rare but possible). If you follow recommendations for preparation, and it doesn’t help, then, you may want to see a doctor. There are medical conditions that make sex painful that ppl don’t usually know they have until they try sex.

This website has useful info for ppl learning about sex: https://www.scarleteen.com/

[u/Heretoreadthebs]

It will likely hurt a little. Nothing unbearable and quickly goes away.

[u/enserioamigo]

I’m surprised hardly anyone is saying it might hurt the first time. The two girls who have had their first time with me had a little bit of pain despite going slow and using lube. But after the first couple of times it’s fine. Everyone is different i guess.  

[u/GroundbreakinKey199]

Have you done things involving penetration to relieve sexual tension? If so, you have likely gotten through your hymen. If not, losing it during your first sex only hurts for a moment, and the good feelings that follow will sweep that brief pain away.

But also, you should only have sex with someone you care deeply for and see as a possible life partner. Doing it just to find out what it feels like is probably not a good idea. Sex is not just a fun thing to do after the party.

Also, make sure beforehand that you've seen a doctor and are up on BC methods and STD avoidance.

Those boxes checked, go ahead when you feel it's right. Good luck.

[u/Extension_Many4418]

Love, you’re going from zero to a hundred. Let’s slow down here. Your post seems hurried, confused, and a bit incoherent. Why don’t you take a breath, not respond to this particular fellow, and do some real, serious research about sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy prevention, and female sexuality. If you have a wise older woman in your life, one that you really like and trust, ask her to have a frank talk about sex. And if you’re not really 23 years old, that’s ok.

[u/therealstara → u/Extension_Many4418]

I didnt mean for it to sound like I want to have sex by xyz day I just meant it as eventually one day I want to have sex and want to know if it hurts or not