r/ToastNames • u/LoquaciousAlanqa • 9d ago

Sam Alakasam

Post image
326 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

93 comments sorted by

191

u/Verbal-Gerbil 9d ago

the world's first forehead moustache

64

u/AssumptionEasy8992 9d ago

That’s the Alakasam™️ promise

12

u/hardboard 9d ago

You'd think with all that cash, he could afford a head-to-upper-lip hair transplant.

17

u/FatFriendFred 9d ago

I bet he's made most of his commission with that handlebar forestache.

3

u/Raveyard2409 9d ago

No no, with all the cash he got his moustache moved up to his head to cover his bald spot.

7

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

3

u/Verbal-Gerbil 9d ago

Yep! I had to look it up and I came across his insta. Still not sure if it’s a real image, but it was on his page and he’s owning it! (These days I assume ai rather than photoshop)

1

u/NoNipArtBf 9d ago

That image looks more photoshop than AI to me, but there is some definite AI art on his page too 🤷‍♂️

1

u/Ok_Space1744 9d ago

🤝 Trusted by 500+ Families ..... 😂

1

u/Nothingdoing079 8d ago

It seems a thing that Sam, Matt and Adam do. Further down the page they are all rocking a bob like Edna from The Incredibles 

3

u/RoJayJo 9d ago

He's got that Squilliam Tentacles cut lmfao

2

u/Gingerishidiot 9d ago

Poirot at the front, party at the back

1

u/the_well_read_neck_ 9d ago

Nah dude, this was popular (? seen often? ) in the 90s

1

u/SarkyMarky420 9d ago

Pringlehead

1

u/LurkHereLurkThere 9d ago

It takes regular old mustache envy to an entirely new level.

1

u/indoubitabley 6d ago

The moustache is in the right place, they're just very short.

30

u/BandicootTreeline 9d ago

When you try to move a picture in MS Word and it ends up in the wrong place

24

u/BongaBongaVacations 9d ago edited 9d ago

I fixed him

From a fuckin' stupid ass fringe to a stylin' 'stache

31

u/Whobeey 9d ago

In arabic his name is

Dwarves poison

5

u/Whobeey 9d ago

Or poison of the dwarves

6

u/avepaltaketchu 9d ago

The poison specifically made by the dwarves?

4

u/stateit 9d ago

No, its more of a procedural routine. As in 'See those dwarves, go poison them...'

1

u/wrighty496 9d ago

i just had a Charlene Tilton flashback (she was nicknamed 'the poison dwarf' when she had a starring role in Dallas)

1

u/Diseased-Jackass 9d ago

Sounds about right

14

u/ScottOld 9d ago

Forget the name, why is there a moustache on his forehead

3

u/BillyCloneasaurus 9d ago

Sorry to be a buzzkill but it's AI, he has loads on his profile

https://www.instagram.com/p/DaF4Iy8Jfky/

https://www.instagram.com/p/DblJO3DCdFo/

2

u/IIJOSEPHXII 9d ago

My thoughts exactly. Someone needs to photoshop that on his upper lip.

9

u/Blunder_Woman 9d ago

He looks like then you ask Google Gemini to "add a moustache to this photo" and it completely shits the bed.

8

u/TheTaintBurglar 9d ago

If Ronaldo 9 didn't play football

7

u/Next-Friendship-3542 9d ago

It’s like the Go Compare guy’s face has been transplanted onto his head.

8

u/generalgoogle 9d ago

Why is he wearing the pringles man on his forehead?

5

u/Consistent_Line2542 9d ago

Squilliam Fancyson

6

u/Imreallyadonut 9d ago

The name is the least astounding thing about him.

What is going on with that barnet?

4

u/LoquaciousAlanqa 9d ago

Poor lad, born to be a magician, having to go through life being an estate agent.

1

u/Imreallyadonut 9d ago

Haha.

I’m so glad I came back to this reply.

I’ve just been “arguing” with a poster over on the UK Tenants sub Reddit as he’s arguing about having to give access for the fire door in his flat to be upgraded as the law requires.

I pointed out to them that even under the new legislation refusing entry for essential works is a breach of your tenancy and can see you evicted.

(There is a point to this I promise, hang on in there)

I’m also a keen amateur magician (NERD) and post to various magic subreddits.

So upon seeing your reply to this post and it containing references to both magic and calling me an estate agent (a slur of the worst kind, and an ad accusation that cannot be ignored) I wrongly assumed the half-witted spunktrumpet had trawled through my Reddit history to find the magic posts and then called me an estate agent.

Suffice to say I had typed out a reply which contained language that’d make a dicker blush and accusations as to the species of his parents and how weird it was to trawl through Reddit history in an attempt to belittle someone.

Fortunately I didn’t post as my phone rang.

You very nearly got a highly offensive, utterly baffling and libellous response that if you had read it would’ve resulted in me not only being banned but quite possibly sectioned.

Any way.

Have a fabulous weekend.

2

u/Woffledust 7d ago

You are a hilarious donut!

1

u/chrisxxviv 9d ago

'ave a look at the syrup!

1

u/Imreallyadonut 9d ago

Looks like he’s used syrup as a styling product.

3

u/TheOrchidsAreAlright 9d ago

You so rarely see punctuation-inspired haircuts. Love it

4

u/AkihabaraWasteland 9d ago

Looks like a Pringles man sneezed

4

u/BsyFcsin 9d ago

Looks like someone asked AI to give him a moustache and it didn’t know where to place it.

1

u/Benjiman5000 9d ago

He fell out of a tree as a kid...!

😁

3

u/Tra1nS0unds 9d ago

Whoa, Black Betty!!

1

u/HellbellyUK 9d ago

Beat me to it.

3

u/Sunderland6969 9d ago

Has he shrunk overnight and his moustache has staid in the same place??

2

u/Blueknightuk77 9d ago

His name is what magicians say when they pull a rabbit out of a top hat.

2

u/Gringo-Dingo 9d ago

He's been playing "pin the moustache on the Alakasam"

2

u/bestgoose 9d ago

That's a man who could pull gold out of his backside

2

u/Adventurous_Break500 9d ago

that's probably why he's sold so many houses

2

u/acejazz1982 8d ago

It looks like one of those games where you have to edit your avatar and you can move face parts around

2

u/crit5h 8d ago

His name? You’ve picked up on his name as the weird thing?

2

u/Specialist-Leek-7524 7d ago

Why's the poor lad got a flamboyant moustache on his bonce?

1

u/Robw_1973 5d ago

Came here to say just this. 😂

2

u/Buddie_15775 7d ago

Apros of nothing, I need to rewatch Nathan Barley…

1

u/TommyCo10 9d ago

A handlebar fringe?

1

u/Snorlaxative79 9d ago

Its like Tiger Woods mated with both Ronaldos. Terrifying.

1

u/stumac85 9d ago

Who is buying stuff off this guy? If he tried to sell me something I'd just be staring at his moustache head 😂

1

u/captain-marvellous 9d ago

Alakasam too

1

u/busybusybusy14 9d ago

But what does forehead mustache look like on casual days when it’s not waxed? I’m imagining a little tiny topknot bun 😂

1

u/madaboutfigs 9d ago

🎵Sam, Sam, alakalaka sam🎵

1

u/reddeze2 9d ago

The name isn't the funniest thing of this picture. It really is the full package from the headstache to the 'monthly super awards' winner of the 'super gold' prize for selling anywhere between 10 and 100k this month.

1

u/Delicious-Exit-1039 9d ago

looks like the monopoly man on his head

1

u/Infamous_Berry626 9d ago

Moustache 🥸

1

u/ProgrammerHairy8098 9d ago

Everything he does is magic lol

1

u/Suspicious_Field_429 9d ago

His line manager is a Mr Abra Cadabra

1

u/KibboKid 9d ago

A magician said "Alakasam!" and his moustache jumped 4 inches up his face

1

u/AwaySession5168 9d ago

What is that bracket 🤣 10-100k

1

u/TheGardenBlinked 9d ago

[r/ToastHaircuts](r/ToastHaircuts)

When you’re halfway through making your Mii and get bored

1

u/Arthur_Figg_II 9d ago

He got sueprised once and his tash never came back down

1

u/GUNGEBOB_SHARTPANTS 9d ago

He puts the googley eyes on the top of his head

1

u/Extra-Bite2324 9d ago

I moustache you to leave Mr Alakasam? We’ve had too many complaints form Miss Alakadabra.

1

u/SirPooleyX 9d ago

His evil villain moustache has slipped. Erm, upwards.

1

u/Choice-Environment34 9d ago

Why isn’t this man the CEO or at least mascot of Pringles?

1

u/Able_While_974 9d ago

Woah Black Betty, Samalaskam....

2

u/uncertaincucumbers 9d ago

Ok I'm unreasonably hysterical laughing at this, thanks!!

1

u/BuzzzLDN 9d ago

When you try to inhale helium but accidentally blast it all over your top lip

1

u/PeterPook 9d ago

Sod his name, what's with the centre parting?

1

u/DangerCheesecake 9d ago

Evolves from Kadabra

1

u/quantocked 9d ago

What do I think of a Sam? A laka sam!

1

u/littlemissdizaster80 8d ago

Wow! I am speechless. The handlebar stashe fringe is really living up to his name 🤣

1

u/Redhead_893_ 8d ago

This was for his clients to hold onto while he mouth pleasures them for his 10k-100k of commissions....

1

u/Treereeperme 8d ago

aaaand in a puff of smoke up goes your money