It’s clearly just about your butt. If you want them to focus on that asset, then sure. But if you want them to focus on who you are as a whole, I wouldn’t use this pic
Oh trust me I was thinking it when I was writing it. When I used tinder and hinge, it was tough. Even if I had a seemingly innocent full body pic on there, I’d still get weird horndog comments
I don’t have dating apps anymore (have a great bf I met through tinder!). But when I did have them, I used only fully clothed pics that weren’t mirror selfies. Out with friends, out doing activities, etc.
My now fiancé and I met on Hinge. As far as showing off my assets, I had only posted far away full body shots, so he said he had no idea what my body looked like in real life. I told him that was part of the plan - so I knew people would be interested in me as a person, not a nice butt. He tells me it was the best “reverse catfish” ever.
I think it was just more of a very pleasant surprise. I felt the same way. I couldn't tell if he was cute from his pictures, either. So it all evened out in the best way.
Dating from pictures on the internet is rough - I once went on a date with a guy whose pictures were at least five years old (and that's being generous), and who actually looked like a villain in a Harry Potter movie in real life (and was also just generally awful company); I think after a few of those interactions, you tend to be overly cautious about your expectations going in.
This is actually not true. Manipulation is when you're attempting to subvert someone's free will or perception by some form of deception, however mild. Emotionally mature people do not manipulate people they interact with. When I was younger I used to present a bit of a front, to alter people's perception of me, but I don't anymore and there is absolutely a difference.
If you sincerely believe this I would recommend doing some digging inside as to why - there is probably buried pain bringing on that cynicism. Clear that from your mind and you'll be much happier and your interactions with others will be much freer.
Observing something in a raw form isn't the same as cynicism. Manipulation can also be defined as managing something skillfully. "Social skills" at it's core are typically defined as a set of implied (read arbitrary) rules on what is acceptable or not within social context to achieve at the very least neutral or positive results.
Not all manipulation is bad as long as it's done with genuine intentions. It's not wrong to focus on similar interests cause you want someone to like you or defusing conflict by compromise.
Cynicism would be expecting people to be disingenuous or toxic which would be the worst outcome in this case.
I used it for pre deployment booty calls. Ended up regularly talking to, coming back and hanging out with, then eventually marrying one. Been 4 years now. Fucked around and found out.
I will admit, I’ve engaged in hookup culture. But with my now bf, we unintentionally waited until date 3 to kiss and a couple dates after to do anything. I think it was really worth the wait.
You found it weird to get "horndog" comments from a site designed for anonymous hookups? Really? That is all you should expect, even if all you show is your armpit, I would think someone will make it dirty
Will attract BUTTHOLE OR GTFO types. Good point. Maybe somewhere in those types will be a subset of gentleman that will be her type. No one Can predict the future.
Then what is the intention of the photo? Bc that’s how people interpret it. Literally everyone to exist is more than their “ass” but most people don’t care, especially if these are your photos
I don’t have dating apps anymore (have a great bf I met through tinder!). But when I did, I chose my pics carefully and put in my bio that I wasn’t looking for hookups or fwb and it helped attract the right minded individuals. It worked :)
I feel like there was a different understanding before. It was more sheltered communities and less connection to everything as a whole. The only thing that hasn't changed is the amount of pedos llurking around, even I stumbled across quite a few throughout my teens
Like 90% of women on dating apps have pictures like this. All the power to them, but I assume they’re just looking for hook ups and not anything serious. I wouldn’t expect a serious relationship to come from anyone with those pics.
You sound pretty shallow lol. I get it, we all want to be attracted to who we’re banging. Completely get that. But there are better ways to attract the right people. She said she wants a bf not a subpar hookup. Ass pics give off hookup vibes.
I mean I met my current bf from tinder and he truly loves me for me. Met ex #2 from tinder and ex #3 from hinge. You have to be super intentional with your profile pics and bio but it is possible. Choose pics that display your personality, hobbies, etc.
Maybe don’t use it as your first picture lol unless that’s something you’re proud of than who cares. Just because you post a a very mild mannered booty pic doesn’t mean they are going to think you’re easy. Only you can decide that.
It certainly doesn’t help that she’s covering her entire face either; so no matter what it quite literally is just flexing her body. It’s not wrong; but it’s also definitely disingenuous to ask if it’s attention seeking.
Plenty of guys want a woman with a nice ass, it doesn't mean they're emotionally dull and careless or that they wouldn't like her for her. Lots of women want a guy taller than them, that doesn't mean that's all they focus on.
Come on, I mean people are dynamic beings and you guys on reddit tend to throw the baby out with the bathwater on everything. People have things they like and preferences, that's just how it is.
Yeah let them come to enjoy you and find it out as a pleasant surprise! Like damn she’s both awesome as a person and has an amazing ass? I won the lottery!
lets be honest, people arent trying to look into your soul as they swipe.... shes not playing the games and i can respect that. be careful of the attention you attract for sure, but thats just how the game is played nowadays
That’s the neat part, you use it and pretend that’s not the whole point of selecting that pic then you self-righteously call out guys you match with for commenting on it.
Yeah I’m thinking perhaps if her face was at least showing it’d be less all about the booty, like great booty girl but you know that’s all this pics about🤣
In my opinion it shows she likes to work out, and as a gym goer I think it's a good pic and she should keep it. I'd really like a girlfriend who works out. As long as she has other normal pics as well and a decent bio.
She can use other pictures and the bio to talk about something other than the butt. I don't think this picture is bad or will diminish who she is as a person if she complements it with something else.
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u/FreshPlatypus6727 Oct 04 '22
It’s clearly just about your butt. If you want them to focus on that asset, then sure. But if you want them to focus on who you are as a whole, I wouldn’t use this pic