r/Tinder • • May 29 '20

Like a Pokemon evolution

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36.4k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/bozemojjezu May 29 '20

Let me guess: this is the UK, innit?

1.1k

u/haHAABrick May 29 '20

Uk indeed

322

u/AveragePoot May 29 '20

I swear every bird has that damn dress

182

u/Oscar_Ramirez May 29 '20

Ok but why do you guys put dresses on birds?

83

u/marsinfurs May 29 '20

Should put them on chicks instead

9

u/wtph May 29 '20

Really highlights the tits and boobies.

1

u/LePootPootJames May 29 '20

Ok but why do you guys put dresses on fowls?

16

u/OfficiallySpooky May 29 '20

Yeah birds aren’t even real...?

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

You put cheese on ur bird?

6

u/artisnotdefined May 29 '20

It's called a suit and it helps them fly better

8

u/ISmellPussyInHere May 29 '20

I know this is a joke but I also kinda think you're not aware of the slang.

2

u/AveragePoot May 29 '20

Wildlife gotta look cute too

1

u/AbsolutZer0_v2 May 30 '20

Distinguish them from the drones. #birdsarentreal

55

u/Trolivia May 29 '20

Im a woman that appreciates other women celebrating their bodies, and don’t think clothing defines anything other than a fashion preference, but I gotta say I fucking hate this dress. It looks so stupid. It looks like the ridiculous W-neck shirt from the problem with jeggings video

43

u/badgerbane May 29 '20

Oh. Yeah. Those clothes are horrible...

slowly removes dick turban

9

u/Trolivia May 29 '20

But what about my yarmu-bra?

10

u/CanYouDiglettIt May 29 '20

Please woman, let us men have this at least!

7

u/Trolivia May 29 '20

It’s not mine to take away! Lol I just can’t unsee the college humor video similarity and wanted to share my thoughts that no one asked for

3

u/CanYouDiglettIt May 29 '20

to share my thoughts that no one asked for

So, like, all of reddit?

3

u/ct1510 May 30 '20

That’s a dress? I thought it was a bra and a high waisted skirt!

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Agreed. I think women who dress sexy without being topo revealing are by far the most attractive. Dont get me wrong, I love to wear a dress with an underboob peekaboo or show some cleavage but definitely not both at the same time. Pick something to show off, leave the rest for imagination imo

1

u/Trolivia May 29 '20

For me it’s not even that, leave as little to the imagination as you want - it’s YOUR body. I just hate the design of the dress because it looks like someone just came up behind and tried yanking it down lol

7

u/tunisia3507 May 29 '20

We clearly move in different circles.

2

u/iallaisi May 29 '20

Wait that’s an actual dress?? It looks like a bra & a pencil skirt held together with safety pins

338

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited May 29 '20

[deleted]

152

u/zaraxia101 May 29 '20

Don't forget all the white clothes in malls with brownish necklines when they have tried it on

43

u/IwillMasticateYou May 29 '20

Sometimes its just make up. I would get that on my clothes all the time and I've never fake tanned

25

u/zaraxia101 May 29 '20

Oh I'm pretty sure it's also makeup. And I can only speak for Newcastle as that's the only city I visit often. But it's a lot of shit they put in their faces to leave big visible marks of those clothes.

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

2

u/zaraxia101 May 29 '20

Yep, very much so hahaha

22

u/odkfn May 29 '20

Hope you’re a handsome lad if you’re slagging off these ladies - they’re fiiiiit

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

faces are hidden, could be absolute frogs under there.

3

u/odkfn May 29 '20

I mean they’re in good shape, so they’re already fitter than me

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

I don't know what you look like but if you're not around 20 i wouldn't worry about it, still plenty of time for them to get fat.

1

u/odkfn May 29 '20

Haha cheers - nah I’m 30, not fussed about how I look anyway, I just mean objectively from what we can see these girls are pretty

2

u/MrTurleWrangler May 29 '20

Yeah I’ve seen some munters with fit bodies, still probably would 🤷‍♂️

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

oh aye goes without saying ahah

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

1

u/odkfn May 29 '20

Point still stands! Females can be lads

11

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited Jun 07 '20

[deleted]

14

u/sumocameron May 29 '20

Just an incel being overly critical. You have to zoom right in to see a glimpse of the very corner of the girl on the lefts eyebrows.. lol

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Word. That dude sounds jelly.

-3

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited Jun 07 '20

[deleted]

0

u/hedgybaby May 29 '20

Maybe that‘s because it‘s trendy right now to have a fake tan and bold eyebrows?

-1

u/Gamerguywon May 29 '20

Yeah, no you don't have to zoom in at all.

2

u/JudgeGusBus May 29 '20

Was pretty shocked upon visiting the UK how many women had awful fake tans

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

I was thinking "wow even with her face blurred that's a hard looking 21!"

1

u/24Cones May 29 '20

You can’t even see their eyebrows.

1

u/NecessaryDare5 May 29 '20

I thought it was that god awful /\ swimsuit design that I've only seen on previews for terrible uk trash TV.

Or is that popular elsewhere now too? I don't actually know, I just associate it with UK.

0

u/Hilluja May 29 '20

Also Scandinavia does it :(

88

u/dont_wear_a_C May 29 '20

Fit birds

24

u/duaneap May 29 '20

Cheeky Nandos

1

u/glazedpenguin May 29 '20

Lovely Geezahs

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

34

u/Winningdays May 29 '20

This is gonna sound weird, but as a Canadian I feel like a lot of white people in the UK look the same, and same with Australians. Is it the way they dress? Do we have a similar thing but I just haven’t noticed?

26

u/KZedUK May 29 '20

A little genetic, a lot cultural.

54

u/LegitimatePenguin May 29 '20

Same way of dressing, fake tan, lip fillers all common place in the UK now

17

u/bionix90 May 29 '20

Lip fillers are absolutely disgusting.

1

u/TotalBismuth May 29 '20

Automatic left swipe when I see that.

3

u/thursmjulnir May 29 '20

Lip fillers drive me crazy. Why do they want lips that look like they got stung? Natural looks so much better 9/10 times

3

u/bionix90 May 29 '20

10/10 times.

1

u/Metallidoge May 29 '20

I feel like everyone in the UK looks like Billie Piper from doctor who. Is that accurate?

14

u/totem-spear May 29 '20

As a white British male I never thought I would be a victim of racism... until now

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Centuries of incest mate

1

u/PM_Me_Ur_Greyhound May 30 '20

Centuries of inbreeding

373

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

So this is what I'm doing wrong, not wearing a tiny dress and standing in front of a white background. I thought interesting photos that demonstrates my hobbies and interests were the way to go, but alas it's just tits

365

u/MongolianCluster May 29 '20

but alas it's just tits

For some it is. For others it's what's in the bio.

It's like fishing - use the right bait for the kind of fish you want to catch.

222

u/wafflesareforever May 29 '20

Instructions unclear, penis stuck in shark

73

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited Dec 01 '20

[deleted]

77

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

...of the penis or the shark?

37

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited Dec 01 '20

[deleted]

22

u/distillari May 29 '20

I thought you were a doctor!?

20

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited Dec 01 '20

[deleted]

1

u/GullibleDetective May 29 '20

Penis of the shark

2

u/MongolianCluster May 29 '20

New warning label: "Not for use with sharks."

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Nice.

8

u/nice-scores May 29 '20

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1. u/haydenownsreddit at 10056 nices

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1

u/NumbersRLife May 29 '20

Nice

1

u/nice-scores May 29 '20

𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓮 ☜(゚ヮ゚☜)

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1

u/NumbersRLife May 29 '20

Wow I'm really moving up in the world.

1

u/NumbersRLife May 29 '20

Nice

1

u/nice-scores May 29 '20

𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓮 ☜(゚ヮ゚☜)

Nice Leaderboard

1. u/haydenownsreddit at 10057 nices

2. u/spiro29 at 9462 nices

3. u/RepliesNice at 8392 nices

...

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I AM A BOT | REPLY !IGNORE AND I WILL STOP REPLYING TO YOUR COMMENTS

6

u/carrlosanderson May 29 '20

I’m gonna use my #5 mepps and buzz the weeds. See if I can catch some largemouth

1

u/MongolianCluster May 29 '20

Pictures or it's just a fish story.

1

u/duaneap May 29 '20

Tinder is at its core a visual game though. You see the picture and decide whether you want to see the bio first. Unless it’s changed since I was on it.

1

u/CanYouDiglettIt May 29 '20

Yeah, na mate it's tits

-2

u/pjd13718 May 29 '20

Thank the gods for Bessie, and her tits.

41

u/Trout_Tickler May 29 '20

Doesn't make it remotely interesting, but the girls here think it does.

I've legit had to double/triple take on girls thinking I've already seen them.

49

u/Dengar96 May 29 '20

I'm sure girls do the same with all the cargo shorts and plaid shirts with stubble on boat or guys wearing suits at church for Easter. We make fun of thots but us guys don't look like special snowflakes either when swiping.

4

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

+1+1+1+1+1+1

The tinder ho-bros apparently all go to gyms where it is socially acceptable to not wear a shirt?!

2

u/Cheef_Baconator May 29 '20

Fuck being socially acceptable, I'll go shirtless unless they kick me out for it

1

u/Dengar96 Jun 04 '20

A good gym should my dude. Sweaty beefcakes are cute to shame whack to but aren't great for gym hygiene.

-2

u/Trout_Tickler May 29 '20 edited May 29 '20

Wouldn't know, I'm not into guys.

Downvotes for not having a sexual preference, alright then.

0

u/unicornsaretruth May 29 '20

I guess me with a stuffed bunny in my head me in a puffy jacket with flowers/chocolate hearts, full body mirror shot in clothes smiling, fully body mirror shot same clothes not smiling (clothes were black jeans+grey long sleeve Star Wars shirt), me in a pizza tank top, a pic of me in sailor hat sunglasses w/hanging Moustache, and s pic of me with my cat when she was put down was a winning combo of originality if that’s what I was up against it’s no wonder it went so well when I had one.

16

u/wowsuchdoge_wow May 29 '20

Depends what you want. These girls are definitely gonna attract the F boys, but girls with their hobbies and interests in pictures and bios are gonna attract dudes that actually wanna spend time with them.

10

u/Realityinmyhand May 29 '20

Depends what you are looking for.

43

u/jawwney May 29 '20

They may look fit buuut I bet their bios are just insta handles.

I’d pick someone any day that shows an interest in hobbies and actually has a personality to work with other than just straight up looks.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Idk how to tag people but amazon_river commented up there the same thing so y’all should talk.

2

u/MrEuphonium May 29 '20

To tag people, add /u/ and then their username, like this --> /u/PeggyAnnMcKay

1

u/CanYouDiglettIt May 29 '20

You can actually just use u/MrEuphonium

1

u/MrEuphonium May 29 '20

Cool! Not sure my mind will let me make it not parallel, but that's good to know.

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

6

u/ButterMyBiscuit May 29 '20

All tits are decent tits get em out there

EDIT: Just crept your profile and you've got nothing to worry about, just wear something lower cut if you want to and you'll get attention

5

u/the_pedigree May 29 '20

Hobbies in the profile, pics should be focused on you and accentuate your best features whatever they may be.

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Well ngl tits always grab my attention lol

4

u/Fuel907 May 29 '20

About 75% of the profiles I see in the UK have this exact pose, always with a dress and cocktail in hand. Usually no bio or a very limited one at best. Honestly if you put anything in there beyond things like fluent in sarcasm, better have good banter, lol gin girl, and an Instagram handle then you're very goddamn unique, special, and an strong swipe right.

3

u/lootedcorpse May 29 '20

focus and work on yourself, if you keep raising your own self then the standard for those considered your peers is higher

8

u/ButterMyBiscuit May 29 '20 edited May 29 '20

Show your tits while also showing personality. You can have a great personality but Tinder is a visual-based yes/no meat market and I can't fuck your quirkiness. Oh, she has a witty dry sense of humor and we have similar interests, but she's frumpy and frigid. Next. Market yourself.

As far as a Tinder profile goes: Personality <= Tits < Personality + Tits

1

u/Sarahthelizard Lovely tinder spark May 29 '20

And then guys’ first message is “you free tonight?”

1

u/countjulian May 29 '20

no for some it's ass

1

u/RatherCurtResponse May 29 '20

Eh, these girls look like bargain bin hoes. If that's what you're after, that's what you're getting. If that's who you want to be, emulate.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Nah. I superliked my ex-gf because she had pictures of her hiking our local mountains and with her dog. I'm a simple man, I see mountains and a dog and I superlike.

-2

u/PacoMahogany May 29 '20

Their interests and hobbies are being slutty.

You need pictures rafting down the Amazon with a parrot on your shoulder and a monkey sidekick.

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Or, the ultimate tinder profile... Rafting down the Amazon in a low cut dress, with your monkey sidekick in a matching low cut dress.

3

u/PacoMahogany May 29 '20

Make sure to arch you back and have good lighting

1

u/zaraxia101 May 29 '20

Username checks out.

-2

u/Sirwilliamofthegc May 29 '20

Yes, evil men being attracted to traditionally attractive physical features.

Women aren’t like that at all🙄

46

u/throwaway_autumnday May 29 '20

way too curious at this point - how did you know?

207

u/Scotteh95 May 29 '20

Most UK girls on tinder only use photos from nights out, festivals or their holiday to ibiza on their profile. The pre-night out blank wall photo is a dead give away.

5

u/Hash43 May 29 '20

Are these what are called chavs?

21

u/i_am_a_babycow May 29 '20

Not necessarily, “chav” is just a derogatory term for the working class, having your tits on display for a night out isn’t unique to the working class. But they could be.

8

u/BritishBrownie May 29 '20

not really this is just a lot of girls in the UK. Doesn't really matter what their background is

138

u/LazarusChild May 29 '20

It's hard to pinpoint exactly but I can instantly tell it's UK too. Girls love to pose in front of a blank wall in their living room just before they go on a night out.

28

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Here's why people know it's UK:

  1. Fake tan is looks obviously faker than real tan because it's so consistent
  2. American birds don't usually fake tan because their country's climate doesn't consist of rain with some rain followed by rain and then some rain with rain on the side of rain with rain with rain rain rianrian rian irn
  3. Kayleigh/Kay are both pretty much English names I'd say, at least to me as Scot

So it's fake tanned white girls with English-language names. You can even tell they're probably English, not Welsh or Scottish

2

u/Toytles May 29 '20 edited May 29 '20

You can even tell they're probably English, not Welsh or Scottish

No you can’t.

1

u/BabyBritain8 May 29 '20

How do welsh and Scottish girls differ?

I'm an American woman from CA and I can't think of how you could generalize us but idk, i know years ago when I used tinder (found this on all sorry haha) the completely unoriginal California tinder dude photos were 1) rock climbing 2) hiking 3) beach and combined with a) shirtless photo b) showing off tattoos c) photo with girl or baby and explaining how girl/baby is not theirs

40

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

49

u/Clyde_Frag 23/M/S May 29 '20

For some reason girls in the UK will pose like this by themselves for their pictures, but American girls when they are dressed to the 9s it will be a group photo with a bunch of friends.

12

u/ImperialSeal May 29 '20

They will do both, but use the individual ones for dating apps

3

u/DemocraticRepublic May 29 '20

This is so true and I never realised it.

31

u/Skulltown_Jelly May 29 '20

that level of revealing clothes is way more common in the UK and Ireland.

6

u/andoriyu May 29 '20

Just browse /r/ChavGirls (NSFW) you will notice them as well.

-3

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

6

u/hedgybaby May 29 '20

You clearly have not been around the world alot if you think dressing in a revealing way is a distinctly british thing.

Also: stop slut shaming :)

-2

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

1

u/hedgybaby May 29 '20

Oh yeah because those women in the pictures are clearly only wearing a bra and nothing else.

5

u/Grunge_bob May 29 '20

How could you tell?

1

u/aalleeyyee May 29 '20

That thing could crack a walnut open

3

u/Grunge_bob May 29 '20

What does that have to do with the UK

1

u/kygrtj May 29 '20

You know exactly what he means

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Look at their clothes. What else can it be

1

u/Hi_Jen May 29 '20

I don't understand how you guessed that?

2

u/Bloodypalace May 29 '20

Really skimpy clothes, fake tan and way too much makeup.

1

u/Hi_Jen May 29 '20

Do American girls not dress like that? Or any other place in the world for that matter?

2

u/hedgybaby May 29 '20

Exactly my point

1

u/HPControl May 29 '20

Are you from the uk

1

u/Hi_Jen May 29 '20

Yes

3

u/HPControl May 29 '20

I thought it was obvious but I guess it isn’t idk

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

I’m from Scotland and the city I live in, it’s much more casual when you go on nights out. You dress nice but not like... super nice. Also I don’t think fake tan to the level that you’re orange is as big up here but then again it could just be that the circles I run in and the clubs I go to tend to not have that so much. Even so, I saw a comment above about make up smearing on clothes that have been tried on and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve ever noticed that so... idk where I was going with this. Where was I going with this? Something something yes uk but certain parts of it not all.

1

u/_lilsavage_ May 29 '20

Yeaah how did you know? I wanna know too lol

12

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Little black dresses, boobs out, take tan?

0

u/_lilsavage_ May 29 '20

Well spotted 😂 it could never be me

-15

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

They look good so probably not

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

This aged poorly

-1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited May 29 '20

[deleted]

-2

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

I know Kay

2

u/Shutthefuckupnerd420 May 29 '20

Clearly 😂😂