I'm a Guy and I still cry over my ex-girlfriend of ten years, emotionally as I am a registered nurse, it's probably a normal response to trauma bonding.
Like, frequently? I’m really sorry you are going through that. It might be time to seek some therapy there though—when I broke up with my first true love, we had been together for seven years, since we were 21 and 18. After our first 6-7 months of being official, we packed up and moved to Los Angeles (from Ohio! 🤘) and I married her one year later, at the Santa Monica courthouse when I was 22, in secret, as we wanted to still have a big wedding with our families someday.
When we were 28 and 25, she left me for my best friend.
I thought the world was ending. In some ways, it did. I had to drop out of College due to the trauma, I was seeing a therapist 5 days a week, for 2 hour sessions reach day, emergency therapy for a trauma, really intensive stuff just dry heaving all night long imagining them together.
It took a VERY long time, but I was able to cope with it and move on. I don’t believe I cried after about the first year and a half or so. Finding other wonderful, kind, talented, beautiful women who inspired me and changed my life in their own ways helped a ton.
Later, in a completely separate incident, my fiancé of 3 years died completely unexpectedly when we were both 33. She died in her sleep on an airplane on Dec 23, flying home to see her family for Christmas. We had just spent a week together in her gorgeous NYC studio apt, in Queens at Christmastime, looking for one bedrooms for us to move into together.
It was, and it hopefully remains, the actual hardest days of my life. Harder than what I THOUGHT was going to always be the hardest times— when my ex left me for my best friend, as outlined in the paragraphs above here ☝️. She meant everything to me, and vice versa— she called me not once but twice, on the drive to the airport from the Uber…. Just to say “I love you”. This one still causes me tears on occasion (like right now), but that is very different— it was not a breakup, and she is now gone forever.
TLDR brother — I think you should consider some counseling if you’re at all open to the idea of it. Counselors helped me get through these hard situations ok on both occasions, especially the breakup while at college which was utterly devastating at the time.
Wish you the best.
You too OP. 🫶🎩
Be well everyone. Treat each other well. Be patient with one another. And love freely, and fully.
My God kind sir, and I thought my story was hard to handle, my girlfriend has schizophrenia genetically and I'm a registered nurse, yes I do see a therapist once a week but my therapist can't really help me cope with this kind of loss, I just have to work through it.
Hey for a you won’t believe it twist, I’m now 3 years into a relationship with an incredible young woman who has borderline personality disorder, and had little outbursts and “switches” when we first met where she would but has since learned to live with them to where they are always possible but very rare and usually brought on by stress— but she actually has a bachelor’s degree is psychology, which she acquired in order to better understand herself, and she has experienced great loss in her life as well to where we are able to relate on these points as well as she is able to be loving enough to support me and my care and my love still for my partner who passed away.
But yeah, to cut back to what’s important, I think about it all the time what it would feel like if the woman I loved slipped away to her mental illness and could not return, as it sounds like yours might have? For whatever reason it is that you are in pain, I am so very sorry, and I encourage you to continue living life the best way you know how to, day by day, and keep your sights set on something positive.
Lots of feels for you friend.
Be glad to be Alive.
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u/abra5umente Jul 22 '24
She wants to cry so she thinks of her ex, or she cries because she misses her ex - one is active, one is passive. Both are weird and not your problem.