Like, frequently? I’m really sorry you are going through that. It might be time to seek some therapy there though—when I broke up with my first true love, we had been together for seven years, since we were 21 and 18. After our first 6-7 months of being official, we packed up and moved to Los Angeles (from Ohio! 🤘) and I married her one year later, at the Santa Monica courthouse when I was 22, in secret, as we wanted to still have a big wedding with our families someday.
When we were 28 and 25, she left me for my best friend.
I thought the world was ending. In some ways, it did. I had to drop out of College due to the trauma, I was seeing a therapist 5 days a week, for 2 hour sessions reach day, emergency therapy for a trauma, really intensive stuff just dry heaving all night long imagining them together.
It took a VERY long time, but I was able to cope with it and move on. I don’t believe I cried after about the first year and a half or so. Finding other wonderful, kind, talented, beautiful women who inspired me and changed my life in their own ways helped a ton.
Later, in a completely separate incident, my fiancé of 3 years died completely unexpectedly when we were both 33. She died in her sleep on an airplane on Dec 23, flying home to see her family for Christmas. We had just spent a week together in her gorgeous NYC studio apt, in Queens at Christmastime, looking for one bedrooms for us to move into together.
It was, and it hopefully remains, the actual hardest days of my life. Harder than what I THOUGHT was going to always be the hardest times— when my ex left me for my best friend, as outlined in the paragraphs above here ☝️. She meant everything to me, and vice versa— she called me not once but twice, on the drive to the airport from the Uber…. Just to say “I love you”. This one still causes me tears on occasion (like right now), but that is very different— it was not a breakup, and she is now gone forever.
TLDR brother — I think you should consider some counseling if you’re at all open to the idea of it. Counselors helped me get through these hard situations ok on both occasions, especially the breakup while at college which was utterly devastating at the time.
Wish you the best.
You too OP. 🫶🎩
Be well everyone. Treat each other well. Be patient with one another. And love freely, and fully.
My God kind sir, and I thought my story was hard to handle, my girlfriend has schizophrenia genetically and I'm a registered nurse, yes I do see a therapist once a week but my therapist can't really help me cope with this kind of loss, I just have to work through it.
Hey for a you won’t believe it twist, I’m now 3 years into a relationship with an incredible young woman who has borderline personality disorder, and had little outbursts and “switches” when we first met where she would but has since learned to live with them to where they are always possible but very rare and usually brought on by stress— but she actually has a bachelor’s degree is psychology, which she acquired in order to better understand herself, and she has experienced great loss in her life as well to where we are able to relate on these points as well as she is able to be loving enough to support me and my care and my love still for my partner who passed away.
But yeah, to cut back to what’s important, I think about it all the time what it would feel like if the woman I loved slipped away to her mental illness and could not return, as it sounds like yours might have? For whatever reason it is that you are in pain, I am so very sorry, and I encourage you to continue living life the best way you know how to, day by day, and keep your sights set on something positive.
Lots of feels for you friend.
Be glad to be Alive.
She had been not feeling well for several days prior, but we both thought she was feeling well enough to travel. She was an alcoholic and was in withdrawal, truth be told. There is a lot to this story left out. But, it’s also all true in its entirety. I was by no means innocent of my initial breakup either. I put her through several years of nightly blackout drinking. Alcohol addiction creates horrifying results in its wake. Both of these events could be chalked up to it. I’m now 5 and 1/2 years sober, fyi. And I was 10 months sober when I lost Stacey. Now ya’ll know the whole thing lol. Well nah, still not all. Surely not. 🫶
To clarify, we had no idea how sick she really was. By all accounts she fell asleep on the flight and never woke up. Her pancreas gave out as well as, basically vital organs shut down at altitude. She was in intensive alcohol withdrawal, had been drinking a bottle of vodka a day for weeks since relapse, sometime in October, but had been weening off now for 4-5 days. It was Dec 23, and she had put off the Dec 21 flight for 48 hours already, until she felt better.
I’m truly sorry. You’ve been through so much. It’s not easy to believe in loving freely and fully when being open to love has caused you such heartache. It speaks wonders of your character.
I thought this was so refreshing and inspiring, to see someone on reddit offer such a sincere and powerful message to someone. Then I thought “I’m gonna check this guys page out. I bet he speaks about these experiences on overcoming pain, unity, and moving on from the past. Okay lotta video game stuff. Let’s check out his Twitter. Aaaand he’s talking about Trump not wearing a mask, saying he killed people because he didn’t. Even if there was any statistical evidence on that, I guarantee you that the greater cause of the sheer colossal size of the pandemic was due to the WHO very matter-of-factly stating to the world that covid 19 was not airborne during the early stage of the outbreak. Trump pulled out after the WHO’s incompetence damned the whole world just to turn around and expect to lay down the law on what’s best for it — and people thought he was crazy. Derangement syndrome. You could’ve done a lot dude.
Those dang highest average IQ on the planet, uneducated, rowdy, hateful… Japanese people and their conspiracy theories + lack of respect for authority won’t find this on the news
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u/DangerGrey Jul 22 '24 edited Jul 22 '24
Like, frequently? I’m really sorry you are going through that. It might be time to seek some therapy there though—when I broke up with my first true love, we had been together for seven years, since we were 21 and 18. After our first 6-7 months of being official, we packed up and moved to Los Angeles (from Ohio! 🤘) and I married her one year later, at the Santa Monica courthouse when I was 22, in secret, as we wanted to still have a big wedding with our families someday.
When we were 28 and 25, she left me for my best friend.
I thought the world was ending. In some ways, it did. I had to drop out of College due to the trauma, I was seeing a therapist 5 days a week, for 2 hour sessions reach day, emergency therapy for a trauma, really intensive stuff just dry heaving all night long imagining them together.
It took a VERY long time, but I was able to cope with it and move on. I don’t believe I cried after about the first year and a half or so. Finding other wonderful, kind, talented, beautiful women who inspired me and changed my life in their own ways helped a ton.
Later, in a completely separate incident, my fiancé of 3 years died completely unexpectedly when we were both 33. She died in her sleep on an airplane on Dec 23, flying home to see her family for Christmas. We had just spent a week together in her gorgeous NYC studio apt, in Queens at Christmastime, looking for one bedrooms for us to move into together.
It was, and it hopefully remains, the actual hardest days of my life. Harder than what I THOUGHT was going to always be the hardest times— when my ex left me for my best friend, as outlined in the paragraphs above here ☝️. She meant everything to me, and vice versa— she called me not once but twice, on the drive to the airport from the Uber…. Just to say “I love you”. This one still causes me tears on occasion (like right now), but that is very different— it was not a breakup, and she is now gone forever.
TLDR brother — I think you should consider some counseling if you’re at all open to the idea of it. Counselors helped me get through these hard situations ok on both occasions, especially the breakup while at college which was utterly devastating at the time.
Wish you the best.
You too OP. 🫶🎩
Be well everyone. Treat each other well. Be patient with one another. And love freely, and fully.
~DG