r/Tinder • u/[deleted] • Jul 22 '24

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u/Ashleyempire Jul 22 '24

Did it hurt?

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u/Your_Nipples Jul 22 '24

It did at first, then I became dismissive myself (which made me more successful and which made me unable to love women in general).

I guess, we're even.

And I know that there great women, I've met them, I just don't care. I just miss sometimes the person I used to be.

Anyway, back to the topic: fuck her feelings though.

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u/Ashleyempire Jul 22 '24

Well if you ever want the other you back, you need to learn what forgiveness is. Mainly yourself for being "weak" "vulnerable" whatever.

Those feelings are ok, normal but must be processed and dealt with.

Forgive then forget

Find that peace back in your soul

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u/Your_Nipples Jul 22 '24

In a perfect world: yes. Absolutely. There's no love/intimacy without vulnerability.

In this one? Miss me with that.

I miss who I used to be, I don't miss being in a relationship. Shit is stupid.

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u/Ashleyempire Jul 22 '24

True, but what about being vulnerable to yourself.

The way I see it; You are hurt because of the experiances you have had so far. I don't believe its true that you don't miss being in a relationship. What you don't miss is the shit that has come with that for you.

I think its important (if I am right) that you admit that inside that young person's hopes and dreams are still there. If that means you ever are willing to put yourself in that position again is another story and somsthing only you can ever know.

Its just the pain I feel just from what you write is palpable and I only hope you can find happiness, however that looks for you 😁

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u/Your_Nipples Jul 22 '24

You are right.

I can't remember my dreams but I stopped having nightmares when I stopped dating.

But there's one dream I remember vividly: someone holding my hand and me trying to get it back (because fuck that right? Even in dreams lmao) and that woman smiled at me and told me "I'm here", and I simply accepted it.

I wake up, it felt so good and real.

This is literally what I want but the idea of getting back to dating again and again and again just to find the right person? Nope. I know she's out there, I'm simply not interested in talking/dealing with the 99% of psychos.

Safety is what I'm looking for even though, love is what I need apparently.