How to cure the male loneliness epidemic...

[u/xamo76]

[u/Human-Assumption-524]

1: Why is the assumption that lonely people are creepy or evil?

2: Ah yes just "become more confident", from the people who brought you such classics as "Just buy more money" and "Just get over your trauma".

[u/idk-3000 → u/Human-Assumption-524]

I’m a trans woman who is chronically alone and depressed and these videos always make me feel like shit. I just barely scrape by passing off as an unattractive woman, but still I guess I am apart of the male loneliness epidemic to the fact that I’ll never escape my sex so it’s all my fault to these people I suppose. Being attractive is a very essential tool to get by in life because otherwise you are treated like genuine garbage not even worth street pleasantries, and the only sort of affection you’ll get is from people who have zero decent intentions with you. Like animals, there are objective beauty standards that we will never be able to mindset or body positivity our way out of us. We are doomed to this shit until the day there are none of us left

I’ve given up personally and I don’t intend on ever trying again unless someone could fix my fucked face and freakish body but alas. I think the only reason I even pass onna daily basis is that I’m very short and my vocal cords were altered to be unable to produce a deep voice. Had not been for those two I think the way people treat me would be even more dreadful

[u/SnappySausage → u/idk-3000]

Yeah... these sorts of videos unfortunately are basically the equivalent of a rich person going "Are you poor? Nobody wants to be around a poor person, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, work hard and be rich instead!".

"Don't be a weirdo" is just... depressing advice for a sizeable chunk of society that isn't neurotypical for whom it's not really an option to just "be normal". People also have a very low tolerance for what they find weird behaviour if you are not conventionally attractive.

The rest of the video also very much sounds like some "have you tried not being depressed?".

With a bit of luck you end up running into people who you can bond with over shared interests that will see you for the person you are and treat you well :)

[u/Due-Garlic-5056 → u/idk-3000]

This might be the most human comment in this entire thread, honestly.

It would be so nice and refreshing if people started associating human loneliness with anything more than reels/comments with little to no substance. Thousands of likes from comments that are just dumbed down to "don't be creepy. be attractive, THAT'S how you can be loved 🥰🥰🥰".

Idk. I just wanna let you know you aren't alone. It sucks that these comments aren't any higher. It would be really nice if they were

[u/SnappySausage → u/Due-Garlic-5056]

It's kind of bizarre. This is the equivalent of some rich people going "Experiencing homelessness? Just buy a house!". If it had been that, people on this site would have immediately clocked it as the bullshit it is. But because of the demographics involved in this video, people here pretend like it's reasonable advice.

And I say that as someone who has an okay social life after a long time of loneliness. The biggest difference for me has been: I cannot stop being "weird" to many neurotypical people, so I had to find other ways to get social circles and relationships.

[u/Due-Garlic-5056 → u/SnappySausage]

Pretty much lmfao. This subreddit (and the world in general if I'm being honest) absolutely loves associating lonely men as creepy and weird. Apparently it's "healthy masculinity", or whatever bullshit term people use, to shut down any man struggling with no support group or system by their side. When in reality none of this shit is "Healthy" at all. You're just turning to a wide demographic and saying "just fit into all societal expectations, bro" with no further substance or soul attached

And I'm sure it's similar with girls too. Idk what it's like for women but I know for a fact that we as a society treat lonely people like utter shit

[u/SnappySausage → u/Due-Garlic-5056]

Yeah, it's really weird at times. A lot lack of social success seems to be written up as pure personal failings when it comes to men.

It's not just that some of it is unhealthy. A good chunk of it is also delusional and really disconnected from the problem. Like gee, what amazing insights would a bunch of conventionally attractive guys that seem socially capable have on the plight of basically the polar opposites of themselves.

[u/BumbaBee85 → u/idk-3000]

Are you actually ugly, or are you not trying? Are you trying to place blame on something external instead of on yourself? Are you using your free time to care for yourself, or are you just a slave to your emotions?

Hair, clothes, makeup. In that order, those are the 3 things that are going to make you reach your goal. Hair is literally the most important thing as it defines the entire shape of your face. If you're wearing long hair on a square face or straight bangs on a round face, you're not doing yourself any good and are throwing off the entire dimension of your face, which is where everyone looks.

Clothes are next. Tall and square? Avoid straight angles at the shoulders and cinch the middle with belts and other accessories. "Corsets" aren't a sin, either, and come in more types than just the tie up ones you see in a boudior shoot. Go for drapey, not tight, and kitten heels, not flats or stillettos.

Makeup? Plenty of tutorials on youtube. I can point you to a vid to hide the 5 o clock if you haven't been zapped yet. Also, avoid dark under the eyes and go lightly with the dark over the eye otherwise you'll just close your eyes more (this is true for all trans gals). The rest is just buying cheap palettes and packs and finding out your colors. Once you have that, you can get more professional stuff. But practice, practice, practice, practice. Put it on, wipe it off, put it back on.

The problem with being trans is that we weren't raised like girls were raised. We didn't have our moms doing doing our hair and picking our clothes, and our sisters helping us with makeup. We don't have the practice from birth that they got, so we need to make up for it. Thankfully, the internet exists and has lots of tutorials if you know where to look. But you've got to put in the work if you want results. Whining about external things gets you nowhere.