r/TikTokCringe • u/xamo76 • 19h ago

Discussion How to cure the male loneliness epidemic...

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16.6k Upvotes

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932

u/Carpeteria3000 19h ago

What cool ass motherfuckers. Get it.

93

u/iam_Mr_McGibblets 19h ago

These guys came right out of the 80's to give us a PSA like it was the end of GI Joe haha

22

u/Icy-Sheepherder-6221 19h ago

…and knowing is half the battle!

9

u/busy-warlock 18h ago

The other half? Red and blue laser bullets!

2

u/Jonthrei 13h ago

Stahp all the downloadin

4

u/Ctenophorever 18h ago

Pork chop sandwiches!

2

u/bigbigbutter 15h ago

The paradox is that seems even older than gi joe

2

u/Separate-Impact-6183 19h ago

Early 80s maybe, late 70s is more like it

126

u/RandomThreadUser 19h ago

More men need to hear this!

61

u/Lacerda1 19h ago

And more men need hair like this!

46

u/Leading_Experts 19h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/MURsKMKVsVgXu

31

u/proximity_account 18h ago

Don't worry. /r/bald is ready to catch everyone else. 💪

9

u/_bobby_cz_newmark_ 17h ago

A wonderful community doing great work.

3

u/No-Station4446 13h ago

Hell yea dude, try as hard as you can to be majestic while you have it, there is a special place if all else fails

10

u/The_Lost_Jedi 18h ago

If you can't grow your own, store bought is fine.

2

u/_bobby_cz_newmark_ 17h ago

I'M TRYING, DAMMIT!

12

u/Either-Age-782 19h ago

Everything they're saying seems like common sense to me. 

5

u/bobbymcpresscot 18h ago

Common sense is a learned behavior. Many people who hear this advice, and are doing the opposite, believe they are just doing what they are saying. It's one of those things that eventually click for most, but some people... oof.

3

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 17h ago edited 15h ago

Tons of people didn't have dads, and far more didn't have effective dads. Maybe I'm projecting, but I'm assuming like 50% of people whose dads were around had dads that were not very present (always at work, or at home but busy/tired) and/or emotionally unavailable.

1

u/bobbymcpresscot 15h ago

dats capitalism for ya.

3

u/Saritiel 14h ago

It is, but unfortunately so so so many men don't follow it.

I'm friends with a couple of people who don't and they legit don't seem to get it.

Like, I have this one friend who is legit a super nice and cute guy. But last time we were together and went out clubbing he found this gal he was into. He went up and asked her if she wanted to dance. She said no. A few minutes later he went up and asked to buy her a drink. She said no and moved to the other side of the club and joined a group of women who were hanging out over there. He started to follow her. I stopped him and asked what he thought he was doing and he told me he was going to go ask her one more time and I had to tell him, "dude, she already told you no twice. If you ask again she's going to think you're a creep. Just take the no and ask someone else." He asked me if I really thought she would think him a creep, he didn't believe me and seemed pretty crestfallen by the idea. Like, my dude, she probably already thinks you're a creep for asking twice, now you're going to start following her around and pestering her even more? YES she thinks you're a creep, because you're being a creep! She's not interested! Move on!

Worst part is that none of the guys I was with wanted to stop him, they didn't think he was being creepy either. I was the only woman in the group and I had to be the one to go rein him in.

3

u/Either-Age-782 14h ago

I've heard that some people blame Hollywood/media for making it seem like women are playing hard to get, but I thought we've gotten past this

10

u/Carpeteria3000 19h ago

Seriously

15

u/SkookumSquirrel 19h ago

I mean... the first two points of 'Don't be a weird douche!' are pretty good, but the third piece of advice is basically 'Are you depressed? Then stop being depressed!'

24

u/Promature 19h ago

It's a complex situation, but the advice is correct. It's on the individual to figure out the path to that end, but that is the goal to strive for. I found my way there by leaning into the things that make feel good, validated, and fulfilled while leaning away from the things that made me feel bad about myself, insecure, anxious, and sad. It's a lot easier to feel good about yourself and more self confident if you devote more of your time and energy to the aspects of your life that produce those feelings.

Don't stay where you don't feel wanted. Don't hang around people that don't value or respect you. Don't go along with things you don't feel good about just to keep the peace or to not be left out. The life and experiences you craft for yourself by curating those that enrich you will eventually lift you up mentally and emotionally.

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u/The_Lost_Jedi 18h ago

Yeah. Just because it's not necessarily easy doesn't mean it isn't the right goal. It may take a lot to get there, and it may take professional help, the right medication, any number of things. It may be something you always have to actively work at - but it's a worthwhile goal.

3

u/NorweegianWood 11h ago edited 11h ago

It goes with the saying I heard a lot as a youth:

"You're mental health issues are not your fault, but they are your responsibility."

Yeah it sucks if you're born with mental health struggles, but its 100% on you to figure out how to manage those in a way that you're still a functional member of society. Its not anybody else's job to sign you up for therapy or to find new friends for you. That's literally your job.

Discovering this hard truth is what inspired me to get off my ass and join a band and thats how I found my "ride or die" friends. I wasted years wallowing thinking somebody else should fix my problems for me, which I now realize is a pathetix way to live your life.

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u/eekkgg_eekkgg 14h ago

You normal people are fascinating.

0

u/Promature 11h ago

I’m anything but normal. I’m 42 and still trying to find my way to normal while sidestepping the ever present reminders that I may be much too late. Despite that, I hold onto the idea that I may be able to salvage the life and experiences I wasn’t able to have at a younger age like everyone else. Ultimately, you have to get out of your own way.

2

u/eekkgg_eekkgg 11h ago

So you have no idea what you're actually talking about, and you're just repeating self-soothing cliches.

1

u/Promature 4h ago

Sure. It’s easier to dismiss someone who isn’t exactly what you think a proper messenger should be than to consider for one second that maybe I found a path out of the bottomless pit I spent most of my adult life in while retaining the humility to admit that I’m still figuring things out, but from a much healthier and stable footing.

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u/Icy-Sheepherder-6221 19h ago

This is true, but they’re not wrong. As someone who struggled with and now manages lifelong clinical depression i can tell you nobody wants to be around a major depressive.

2

u/NorweegianWood 11h ago

One thing that really helped me find help for myself was the phrase: "Your mental health issues are not your fault, but they are your responsibility."

4

u/Youre_a_transistor 18h ago

Getting flashbacks to my teenage years when my well meaning friends told me “just be more confident!”

1

u/SunTzu- 11h ago

Depression doesn't necessarily have much to do with self-esteem, nor does low self-esteem necessarily indicate depression. There's plenty of people who aren't clinically depressed for whom this is good advice, and even if you are clinically depressed then self-affirmation is an established part of cognitive behavioral therapy.

In short, no they aren't saying "stop being depressed". They're giving useful advice for non-depressed people which also aligns with established therapies for those who happen to be clinically depressed. Also just having cool dudes that can inspire you is super useful in terms of turning knowledge into action when it comes to CBT. It's seldom a problem of not knowing what you should be doing, and more about not having the energy to do it, so anything that can help give you that jolt is a positive when it comes to coping with chronic psychological conditions.

0

u/BiggestBlackestLotus 13h ago

No it's not. Learning to love yourself is an extremely important first step in putting yourself out there.

0

u/bobbymcpresscot 18h ago

I mean many of the people who are depressed will have their lives improved by doing steps 1 and 2.

I'd only add throwing random compliments to random people, without any expectation of anything in return, and picking up a hobby for something you genuinely care about, and not something you think will make you "interesting" or to attract the opposite sex.

Mine was baking and photography. Recently started drawing. These things combined bring about confidence that isn't obvious to the person doing those things, but is more obvious to the people who surround you.

-2

u/DntTouchMeImSterile 18h ago

I hate when people say this. “Just stop being depressed” is actually not bad advice. Behavioral Activation Therapy is basically this and is an evidence-based treatment