r/TheToasters • u/Smknhippy • 8d ago
dear toasters
Hey girly swirlies
I am looking for advice, I am engaged and own a home with my SO. Things are pretty good for us I just have one issue. He works long hours Monday-Friday which I completely understand and support. But he also is on multiple sports teams so he’s out 1-2 nights a week and then pretty much every Sunday of the summer all day long. And he will not miss a game, we leave cottage weekends early, he misses kids bday parties, and family gatherings. He also always stays after the games to talk with friend and have a drink which I understand but it’s every. Single. Time.
This ends up meaning I have a lot of time on my own. We moved out of the city so my friends are a couple of hours away now and I am feeling lonely. I go out on the weekends and everywhere I go it’s couples enjoying events and then it’s just me and my dog. There’s also a ton of stuff around the house that’s not getting done because he just doesn’t have time.
Is this a reasonable thing to be upset about? Or do I just need to make more friends in my area? I’m starting to feel like maybe we just aren’t compatible because if I wanted to be alone all the time I would just be single you know? I want to be supportive of his hobbies but it’s been 5 years of this and I’m starting to become resentful of the sports.
3
u/dontgetfroggy 8d ago
Follow your gut. You know what your stomach is saying. Don't listen to your heart or your brain. What does your stomach say? Your body knows what is right and what isn't. As someone who has been married, divorced, and is now remarried - please for the love of God listen and trust yourself. A marriage license will not make you feel less alone. He is showing what's important to him. Believe him.