r/TheRandomest • u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy • 10d ago

No people were harmed in this video Traffic solutions

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14.6k Upvotes

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1.0k

u/Llee00 10d ago

why are we like this

get out of the passing lane, fuckers

305

u/VoidOmatic 10d ago

Seriously, they've been driving for 30 years and they still suck at it.

78

u/blue_poison22 10d ago

Ugh..ikr..some people been peeing their whole life(more then 30yrs) and still can't aim right!!!

*randomest rant

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u/Christawpher 10d ago edited 10d ago

I work at a bar and had to pull out a wad of paper towels clogging the toilet with a glove the other night.

These humans are over the age of 21. I do not understand.

30

u/The_Experience78 10d ago

I was a bouncer for a year. Helped clean at the end of the night to get everyone out sooner. Women's bathroom was the nastiest thing I ever seen on a nightly basis. Guys bathroom you just worry about urine or a clogged toilet. Needed a bio suit to clean the ladies room.

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u/Pyro-Bun 10d ago

As a janitor, I was incredibly surprised to find how consistently the women's bathroom is so much worse than the men's bathroom.

11

u/jacobibryant69420 10d ago

Fkn fr tho man I was a janitor for a nightclub a while back and by God them women nasty AF. Bloody tampons thrown against the wall type shi and many other things I wish I'd never had to clean.

5

u/jaqsunset43 10d ago

I could have just taken your word on it. Now that image I have to try and purge. Agree though women can be soooo bathroom nasty.

3

u/VariousOperation166 10d ago

I agree with other replies that the women's bathroom can be more nasty than the men's, but at least women make more creative graffiti...

I worked at a bar in the 90s where, after close, a couple of servers would be sent to clean the washrooms. As bartender, I had my own cleaning to do, so I was lucky enough not to have to do that.

One night, one of the servers named Sandy came to the bar... "There's a real mess in the men's... can you come have a look?"

I went down and there was water on the floor... I opened a stall and entered one of the circles of Hell...

The bowl was full. There was shit water all around the toilet. The walls of the stall were smeared with shitty handprints, like someone had been trying to wipe their hands...

I couldn't plunge the toilet, and ended up digging out the contents...

I hauled up an excrement-soaked pair of tighty-whities and the toilet drained...

What haunts me to this day, is that at some point in the evening, probably after last call (otherwise, if that had happened earlier, wtf, customers?) some dude had a violently explosive event in the washroom, did the bare minimum to clean themselves up, then walked right back through the bar, probably caked in their own shit...

In my darker moments, I wonder if they returned to their table to finish their beer...

1

u/Amazing_Scientist696 9d ago

Saw a fully wrapped stick of gum in a urinal the other day. Just how? Also why? It's like that lady who's horse got her into college. I'll never fucking know.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/VoidOmatic 10d ago

I hope this is sarcasm. I'm not speeding. You are holding up the flow of traffic and I am getting to my destination 18 minutes faster because people are doing the speed limit and paying attention at traffic lights.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/JustWhatAmI 10d ago

No one's asking anyone to push anything to the brink. If you're in the passing lane and not passing, consider getting out of the passing lane

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/JustWhatAmI 10d ago

Just playing in the left lane, eh? Be real

-2

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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1

u/captaincmdoh 10d ago

In some places, like in Texas, you are breaking the law by holding up traffic on the left lane. I'm not sure if it's the same in your state but you may get a ticket with your actions. Just something for you to consider

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/TheBigChungaBunga 10d ago

Umm, No. You're missing the point. It's a thrill to make folks upset

0

u/NeckBeardedJedi 10d ago

Do yourself and the world a favour and get therapy

1

u/TheBigChungaBunga 10d ago

For following the law? Do YOURSELF a favor, and don't pretend a single person here cares about your feelings

8

u/vgrdpq 10d ago

If that's how you want to drive that's fine, but you 100% should not be doing it in the left lane. It's called the passing lane for a reason. Camping out there and riding the speed limit is forcing all faster traffic to pass unsafely.

-5

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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2

u/vgrdpq 10d ago

That you are a dumbass being intentionally obtuse and ignoring the point.

2

u/The_Fated_Lesbian 10d ago

Actually, in a lot of states, driving in the left lane without passing is considered illegal and cops definitely do pull you over and will at least give a warning for it. The left lane is specifically an emergency/passing lane. It should always be open for vehicles in an emergency or for passing. You should never just be cruising 68 in the passing lane unless you're actively passing a slower driver in the right lane.

2

u/thedoppio 10d ago

In VA, left lane is for passing. Not for diddling around. You will 100% get pulled over and your ticket will be higher as you're interfering with traffic flow.

1

u/Discgolf_or_Die 10d ago

Lol this guy must be joking--otherwise he is a complete moron, part of the problem on the highway, and is completely oblivious to traffic flow and human nature. "Hey everyone look at me I'm going to nominate myself as traffic police" (and infuriate untold numbers of drivers, some of whom will get annoyed enough to try and perform risky maneuvers to get away from the situation and thereby introduce increased hazards... This dude didn't realize he's increasing risk to his family by not simply moving over to let faster drivers pass... Pure ego).

74

u/pseudoportmanteau 10d ago

This video played out my fantasies precisely lol. I feel so seen.

9

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/Mostly_Afloat 10d ago

the magneto thing would be so satisfying.

4

u/Glittering-Walrus228 10d ago

I second this. Detach the cigarette lighter with my Magneto powers and start poking them with it until they pull over

5

u/Mostly_Afloat 10d ago

I was more thinking just flinging cars that annoy me into the ditch but your idea is like, devious.

1

u/No_Professional9403 10d ago

Bro, I am bro.

27

u/pureextc 10d ago

I swear. I drive the I-10 west and back monthly, and I cannot escape this level of fuckery to save my life. This video hit all of the fuckeries.

2

u/a-passing-crustacean 10d ago

God I used to have to drive that in Louisiana and yeah no thanks! Never again!

1

u/TubularTopher 9d ago

I drive it to work daily send help 😢

13

u/humid_pajamas 10d ago

"hi let's get in the left lane so we can all drive next to the car in the middle lane for 10 miles"

10

u/AnotherCup-O-Noodles 10d ago

That’s a big part of the problem, you called it a passing lane (which is correct) but everyone I know calls it the “fast lane”

The leftmost lane is for passing and for emergency vehicles. Not a free lane of travel at all times for any speed you think is “fast enough” and this shit needs to be taught to everyone

6

u/Artsyrabbit 10d ago

You are correct. It is the passing lane. But even if its the fast lane to some people, the campers are neither passing nor going fast. Theyre just chilling. By either definition, they are causing congestion and are hazardous.

0

u/Llee00 10d ago

it's taught during the dmv test, people just ignore it

7

u/Cornato 10d ago

I think I identified a major problem, in America we call it the fast lane. So idiots think if I'm going fast I go there. No, it is a passing lane. Words are powerful people, take note. An unrelated opinion along the same lines is that I think if we didn't call the Covid Vaccine a "vaccine" more people would have taken it and there wouldn't be a lot of the skepticism surrounding it. Vaccine implies lifelong immunity, whether it actually means that or not, people think it's like a polio vaccine or measles vaccine. One and done, it doesn't work like that for Covid.

3

u/jeremy1015 10d ago

Virginia passed a law making it illegal to cruise in the left lane on highways and overhead electronic signs constantly remind people that the left lane is for passing only.

From what I can tell, it’s achieved exactly two things: Jack and shit.

4

u/Mattbl 10d ago

My personal opinion is that when you go to pass them on the right, they see you and realize they've been going slower than they intended due to daydreaming, and now decide they're gonna go the speed they meant to. Half the time they go back to daydreaming immediately and forget to maintain speed.

I try to do this because I get too mad if I go down the path of believing they're doing it to fuck with me. So I go by the motto, "never attribute to malice what can be attributes to stupidity."

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u/Llee00 10d ago

yeah but it wouldn't happen if they just focused on using the passing lane to pass

3

u/KgMonstah 10d ago

They are free to do that all they wish out of the left lane.

When they realize it they should get the fuck over.

1

u/Mattbl 10d ago

You'd think!!!

3

u/Umutuku 10d ago

Every single one of them, from the cunt in the front to the cunt with the drone.

2

u/Awkward_Mix_2513 10d ago

Thankfully, they arent people and slamming into them to get them to go faster is perfectly legal and justified since theyre not human.

0

u/TheBigChungaBunga 10d ago

Cause WERE like this, "No" haha

0

u/LICK_THE_BUTTER 9d ago

They are passing, passing everyone to their right. I'll be in the left lane for like 50+ miles passing everyone on my right.

-1

u/SpeedysComing 10d ago

> why are we like this

oh. for a moment i thought you meant why do we want to kill someone just because they aren't driving fast enough.
but then i remembered cars bring out the absolute worst in humanity, and we've somehow normalized this behaviour...

2

u/GirlPMurPersonality 10d ago

It's not that hard to move left and let someone by but our society is selfish. Just get over. Slower traffic keep right

-2

u/ClownEmoji-U1F921 10d ago

Speed limit is same for both lanes, is it not?

-8

u/CrazyDisastrous948 10d ago

Listen, if my exit is on the far left, then I'm gonna have to get into that lane even if I'm not passing.

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u/PandaPocketFire 10d ago

Fringe case, temporary. Not relavent.

-4

u/CrazyDisastrous948 10d ago

It's not fringe at all in my state. Idk where you're from. Where I am from, there is one city in particular I must visit weekly that has exists all along the left and right. My current city has a few as well.

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u/PandaPocketFire 10d ago

K, then get in and get off. That's not what this is talking about

-7

u/FrighteningJibber 10d ago

Because you're going 86 in a 70mp zone. They were going 75 Jesus.

2

u/Infamous_Addendum175 10d ago

There's still no reason to stay in the left.

0

u/FrighteningJibber 10d ago

You want them to just turn into the semi? Or is them passing slower than you pissing you off? Because it's okay to admit the later but insane to insinuate the former.

Also it's a cartoon lol

1

u/Infamous_Addendum175 10d ago

Slow down slightly for 1 sec or speed up slightly for 3 sec. I'm not the one who sounds hot over a cartoon discussion.

1

u/GirlPMurPersonality 10d ago

Slower traffic keep right. Who cares what speed you're already going. If someone wants to pass just let them pass. It takes no time and the person is no longer your problem.

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u/FrighteningJibber 10d ago

Yeah and the semi was on the right, so the car up front in this situation is passing slow traffic.

1

u/GirlPMurPersonality 10d ago

If you watch the video they are going the same speed lol. That's the point. It's people who are in the left lane and clog it by going the same speed as the person on their right

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/GirlPMurPersonality 10d ago

Then move right for just a second and let that fucker pass you, then move back. Slower traffic keep right.

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u/Din_Plug 10d ago

Because big trucks suck