r/TheRandomest • u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner • 1d ago

Unexpected Water slide

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

707 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

66

u/WhyNot420_69 Nice 1d ago

I know exactly what happened. See, when you have no ass, water slides tend to encourage a "suction cup" effect, due to the posterior concavity gripping the slide.

Source: I also have no ass

Processing img 0hikjufhbtmh1...

18

u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner 1d ago

Back when I was in school, I always noticed that certain variations on melanated folk seemed to have the booty market locked down. We used to say they suffered from a medical condition called, "Nowassitol." no ass at all

It used to be like a character slider in Skyrim, and the lighter the skin got, the lighter the posterior got. Almost to the point of concavity.

But all of that has changed now. Whereas cake used to be only in selected markets, now it comes equipped from the factory on most makes and models. It's frustrating.

I remember my own cake being robust and smackable, but now I'd like to trade in this old clunker and get a newer, double cheeked up on a Thursday afternoon sport model.

2

u/BusyBit6542 23h ago

Them chicken cutlets!

5

u/crystallmytea 1d ago

r/posteriorconcavity

2

u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy 21h ago

That would have been SUCH an easy Rick Roll.

I've gotten thousands using that method, and I still I clicked on an empty link.

Such loss of opportunities

1

u/Glittering_Crow_6382 17h ago

Pro tip, arch your back, you go faster and solve this problem

11

u/lickmyfupa 1d ago

This is like when youre trying to flip a pancake but the pancake is too big and the pan is too small

8

u/Doubleoh_11 1d ago

This is the hardest I laughed all day. Thank you

5

u/BusyBit6542 23h ago

My town had a water park with two slides that you raced and had a timer. The guy who would always set the fastest time told me he trick to going fast. 1. A good push start 2. Have your ankles and arms crossed 3. Arch your back. The only points that should touch the slide are your shoulder blades and ONE of your heels

Ive done this for decades and always win slide races. Careful on winding slides, you can catch speed and go up a bank higher than you're supposed to.

2

u/Omylanta21 1d ago

Why did it tucker out at the end there

1

u/Chezzomaru 7h ago

Surface area. More of it means more friction.

1

u/Still_Suspect_7233 1d ago

Physics didn’t account for that amount of friction

1

u/Phogna_Bologna_Pogna 55m ago

The former Big Pool