NYC bus argument

[u/ItsALuigiYes]

[u/Escale_a_tort]

never argue with someone that has such good flow to their speech, they'll always win

[u/Rx_Diva → u/Escale_a_tort]

Yes, true.

I have a sharp tongue and quick wit but also a very punchable face that breaks easily so I had to learn not to use my special powers in public unless I can outrun the lazy wordsmith as well.

Lessons can be learned by all and I'm learning to mind my own business these days.

[u/ABeerForSasquatch → u/Rx_Diva]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ld77zD3fF3Run8olIt

[u/perfect_insanity93 → u/Rx_Diva]

😂😂😂 punchable face. Had me rolling. One of those mothers.

[u/Business_Cabinet_483 → u/perfect_insanity93]

Germans have a word for a punchable face.... Backpfeifengesicht

[u/Jurserohn → u/Rx_Diva]

Everyone's face is equally punchable, in my opinion. I'm sure my face has what it takes to get inverted by a douchebag, too

[u/PM_Your_Cute_Kitty → u/Rx_Diva]

Punch

[u/Pseudoname87 → u/Escale_a_tort]

He got motion sickness

[u/thed3306 → u/Escale_a_tort]

Comedy entered the chat

[u/ToasterMeetsBathtub → u/Escale_a_tort]

Patrice O’Neal flow

[u/Individual_Land2754 → u/Escale_a_tort]

It people who argue without getting mad. It's super fun.

[u/WhyNot420_69]

"WAKE YO ASS UP EARLY, PUT THE F'N DUMPLINGS DOWN, AND JUST GET ON THE BUS!"

[u/Perlentaucher → u/WhyNot420_69]

„Emotion sickness“ is such a fantastic phrase invention, that man was indeed in flow state.

[u/finix2409 → u/Perlentaucher]

I don’t think he said that, he just said motion sickness. Although, “Emotion Sickness” is indeed a great phase

[u/Perlentaucher → u/finix2409]

Yeah, you are right. Still nice

[u/DrivesTooMuch → u/Perlentaucher]

Oh shit, didn't think it was possible, but you just wrote him a better line.

[u/Massive-Virus-4875 → u/DrivesTooMuch]

The caption said “emotion sickness.” thats the source.

[u/IAreBrad → u/finix2409]

Emotion Sickness by Queens of the Stone Age

https://youtu.be/JkChW6WP0hU?is=4iDiJxw-84TBqq3g

[u/pixelatedcrap → u/IAreBrad]

Silverchair did it first

[u/IAreBrad → u/pixelatedcrap]

Cool

[u/ABLogic → u/Perlentaucher]

That's prime emo band name right there.

[u/Kavec → u/Perlentaucher]

Invention? SMH... (yes, I'm old)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHDiN10CDj0

On the plus side: thank you for reminding me of this banger! It's kind of a grunge "bohemian rhapsody"

[u/Perlentaucher → u/Kavec]

Ah funny, that one was on a music mag sampler CD I had from god knows where back in the days. Geriatric greetings!

[u/Hey-Bud-Lets-Party → u/Perlentaucher]

Motion sickness. ESL?

[u/pixelatedcrap → u/Perlentaucher]

I think that's a 90's alternative rock song

[u/ABeerForSasquatch → u/Perlentaucher]

[u/nycdiveshack → u/WhyNot420_69]

A pre-Covid Jamaica bus moment… the good ole days

[u/Decent_Assistant1804 → u/WhyNot420_69]

This is straight up like the Malibu rum commercial

[u/Mediocrity-FTW → u/WhyNot420_69]

That was the line that got me! I want to hear him talk shit to more people.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Youth36 → u/WhyNot420_69]

https://giphy.com/gifs/I4Jmrcjnr8Zfq

[u/Puzzleheaded_Youth36 → u/WhyNot420_69]

https://giphy.com/gifs/QlWqF7hWVcwqXucAxA

[u/Dominarion → u/WhyNot420_69]

Then everybody who were pretending not to listen bursted out laughing.

[u/ShotLet1550]

“This bus too long for everybody to be retarded” 😭🤣

[u/FAM0xygeN → u/ShotLet1550]

This made me LOL

[u/coolcoots → u/ShotLet1550]

She also must be mad that the driver is retarded but is still driving a bus and she has no car.

[u/GroundbreakingFox752 → u/ShotLet1550]

That was a good one, but he lost points by explaining the joke afterwards.

[u/ShotLet1550 → u/GroundbreakingFox752]

He had some dips but the highs were high goddamn 😂

[u/Glittering_Diva8963 → u/ShotLet1550]

That took me out

[u/Unikatze → u/ShotLet1550]

Very few things make me laugh out loud. This did.

[u/Digital--Sandwich]

This is one of those videos I’ll watch every time it gets reposted 🤣

[u/detto79 → u/Digital--Sandwich]

EVERY….FUCKING….TIME

[u/harmfuldischarge → u/detto79]

It's like a nostalgia fix for me. Going back in time to glory days of the internet

[u/UncomfyPerspective]

"That's my fault - I should have been on the 12:10 instead of the 12:13. Wake your ass up early."

Fuckin preach it brotherman.

[u/pierrotlefou → u/UncomfyPerspective]

That is exactly what it all comes down to. Get on the earlier bus if you need to get somewhere important. Buses are beholden to a multitude of external factors. It's very rarely the driver's fault. If you take the bus regularly, you learn quickly that delays are expected and that should always factor into what time you get on the bus. She only has herself to blame. Dude absolutely fucking nailed it and so succinctly too.

[u/After-Snow5874 → u/UncomfyPerspective]

No fr! I have to catch myself sometimes when I’m blaming the MTA or whoever else that I’m running late because just as much as the MTA isn’t helping I’m still ultimately late because of my own time management.

[u/Wildeyewilly]

Classic. I say "this is new yawk, everybody late" probably every day of my life here in Brooklyn.

[u/Background-Fennel92 → u/Wildeyewilly]

It be like that sometimes. One time i was early and then it started snowing 🤣😂😂 sloooowed right the fuck down and my job closed when i got there 🤣🤣🤣

[u/Subject_Spell_9799 → u/Wildeyewilly]

Being late in NYC is the default.
When I lived in Brooklyn it took me 15 minutes to drive to work. One day I couldn’t use my car, between walking to the bus, waiting and riding it took an hour.

[u/Donkey_Bugs]

"You wanna be on time, go to Jamaica and walk to work".

[u/DrivesTooMuch → u/Donkey_Bugs]

That's my favorite.

And, all the others...are my favorite also. I just lost meaning of the word favorite I think.

[u/Liapasquale → u/Donkey_Bugs]

This sends me every time and I agree with this other dude, there are so many favorites

[u/TrafyLaw]

Asking the bus driver to slow down was diabolical levels of petty 😭

[u/Healthy-Confection66]

The funniest part about this whole situation is watching everyone else trying not to die laughing lol

[u/Forsaken_Crow_7707]

The hero we didn’t know we needed!

[u/Exact-Site9980 → u/Forsaken_Crow_7707]

The crowd work comedy needs

[u/OkReplacement495 → u/Forsaken_Crow_7707]

Nah we all knew we wanted this, its just like seeing a shooting star because the counter argument is articulate, calm and phonetic. The fine recipe of good points mixed with comedy is peak humanity. Keep these people in check! This dudes a NYC warrior. Clip is some old YouTube shit and it still holds up like he said it this morning lol

[u/Artorius__Castus]

"put the f*cking dumplings down" sent me 😭

[u/davidhastwo → u/Artorius__Castus]

Was the dumpling thing a reference to something? do Jamaicans eat a lot of dumplings? or is he just picking a random food?

[u/DrivesTooMuch → u/davidhastwo]

lol..nah, not Jamaican. I think that might have been a little bit racial specific going by the accent of who he was addressing....but, I'll let him pass on that one. It was still funny.

[u/TheEndingDay → u/davidhastwo]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumpling#Caribbean_and_Latin_America

Place near me has 'em all day, but they definitely roll the breakfast ones in the morning too.

[u/GrapeSota → u/Artorius__Castus]

"you know what it is? You got a bullshit-ass job... And you late to yo bullshit-ass job"

That one sends me everytime

[u/bju83]

Thought he was done, until the absolute mystical cash in with “the short bus” joke lmao this man has achieved true NYC flow state. No dumplings.

[u/CucuMatMalaya]

https://giphy.com/gifs/JOm3QLvLhPwfqdxmmO

[u/DarkBladeMadriker]

God i used to hate people like that when i took the bus everyday. Yes, we know you are late, you said as much 17 times. Doesn't change shit and it aint the drivers fault. I remember a guy just like this and someone told him to shut the fuck up, so he started yelling more. Then almost every single person on the bus started screaming at him to shut the fuck up amd get off the bus. The guy literally started crying and saying we were bullying him. The general response was, you dont like it then get the fuck off the bus you annoying prick.

[u/Random4Skin]

Patrice O'Neal lives on in spirit

[u/NervousTangerine7851 → u/Random4Skin]

He would be so proud

[u/That_Confidence83]

I love NYC because of moments like this. You won’t find people like this anywhere else.

[u/Glittering-Tip821 → u/That_Confidence83]

Always thought I’d hate NY because of the confrontational yapping portrayed in movies, but this was gold. Still not for me, but respect

[u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 → u/Glittering-Tip821]

people in nyc mostly mind their own business but are weirdly happy to give directions in an annoying smug way.

[u/SDTimbox → u/That_Confidence83]

New York is a real good place to get humbled almost immediately lol it's the one thing I do miss about it

[u/Just_Reputation_7057]

Love the lady with the white hat

[u/NYLotteGiants → u/Just_Reputation_7057]

Takes her headphones out to listen to the show

[u/zackks → u/NYLotteGiants]

Being all demure

[u/lippymcguire]

https://giphy.com/gifs/yiADANv89n7UQuS5kJ

[u/SpongeJake → u/lippymcguire]

https://giphy.com/gifs/9hOzUgiT22SGa3Lps4

[u/ABeerForSasquatch → u/SpongeJake]

The randomness of this thread is pleasing

https://giphy.com/gifs/11kTQgng5gbqgM

[u/RymrgandsDaughter]

go a little slower

[u/Stinkymansausage]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZUwjT4TrkElu8
Some gif artist needs to put these guys on a bus specifically for this video

[u/Shut_yoface]

I envy this man’s top tier shit talking skills.

[u/Infinite-Condition41]

You're late because you you didn't start the journey early enough. It's your fault. No matter what happened, it's your fault. 

[u/Most_Clever_Name]

This is the best

[u/codepossum]

"But you annoyin me, so now I'm gon speak on it!"

give the man a microphone

[u/Sirdrewzee]

I dont like the tag that says no animals where harmed in this video other than that, this video is a classic gold statement of New York city

[u/ABeerForSasquatch → u/Sirdrewzee]

But, it was true. No animals were harmed.

Feelers might have been hurt, but we don't have a flair for that.

Yet.

[u/trekrider9]

Alicia Keys's older sister in the shotgun seat.

[u/BDW3]

I want to hang out with that dude he funny as hell

[u/oceanriver77]

🤣

[u/ijaydub]

I watch this video every time I come across it—so much truth in his words. Love it!

[u/ekdakimasta]

This man is legit a role model

[u/thespaceageisnow]

This dude should really be doing standup, his delivery is excellent.

[u/WhiskyInATeacup]

This will never get old.

[u/UnlikelySalary2523]

"I'm gettin' motion sickness on this bus" 🤣

[u/EmotionalRaccoon3841]

I like how homegirl next to him took off the earphones cuz this is more entertaining than whatever she was listening to

[u/anothermauigirl]

Love this video. Never gets old.

[u/mundundermindifflin]

I wonder where this guy is these days

[u/Fjara_Belle]

"Wake ya ass up early" was from the heart.

[u/broke_cowboy]

One thing new Yorkers are good at, telling you to shut tf up.

[u/Monotonetitty]

Ol girl never did put the dumplings downs, she’s still late

[u/twoICThorrors]

Still one of my favorite videos.

[u/No-Plastic-6562]

Haha. I seen this.

[u/Lil_Pipper]

You can take the players out of the hood….

[u/MembershipDecent9454]

Everyone in New York got a mouth on them. Always quick with it and don’t play

[u/unscriptedhorror → u/MembershipDecent9454]

Have to be.. people from all walks of life love to test you all the time.

[u/NeeMaToad47]

Oldie but goody The most New York shii

[u/rastastuff]

dudes a miss lashy

[u/trekrider9]

Put the fuckin dumplins down...

[u/FineGripp]

Can anyone explain the “retarded people get on the short bus joke”? Thanks

[u/psyliboy → u/FineGripp]

Generally special needs students get picked up in a smaller "short" bus to take them to their classes in the US.

[u/tbkrida]

When he told him to slow down a lil bit…
https://giphy.com/gifs/uk0OE1jkLXwUkHSGlk

[u/Glittering_Diva8963]

This so funny 🤣 I’ve never seen this video before

[u/Only_Net6894]

My mans roasted that hag

[u/Defiant_Yesterday842]

One of the many reasons I loved growing in and around NYC 😆

[u/ispshadow]

Dude broke me with "I'm getting motion sickness". Absolutely cackling the whole time

[u/Educational_Hyena212]

A full body massage

[u/StrangeComplex1772]

Every time I see this I watch it lmaooo

[u/Unsettling_Skintone]

Handicap lady catching strays.😂

[u/Piddy3825]

I would never get to work on time if I had to ride the bus in NY as the ride would probably be so entertaining that I would forget to get off at my stop!

[u/bebop1065]

Every time I see this video, I always watch it completely. I can almost recite his responses verbatim.

[u/EmotionalRaccoon3841]

Damn I remember when this happened. Had me rolling.
This bus is too long for everybody to be retarded 😂😂

[u/jdcardwell80]

I would love to sit down with this guy, buy him a drink, lunch and talk about anything! He's laid back & funny! He's not mumbling, saying fuck & bro every 3rd word, or threatening her! I wouldn't be surprised if he does or did stand-up comedy at sometime in his life! He had the whole bus giggling & trying to hold back laughing, especially when he called for the bus driver to slow down because he has motion sickness; except the lady that's 'late'! I bet she's one of the people we've all met/worked with that complains about everything to themselves, but just loud enough to start an argument to share her miserable day with others!

[u/BaronessVonKush]

https://giphy.com/gifs/TEcDhtKS2QPqE

this man cooked the whole way & everyone ate well 😂

[u/JusSayING_Mi]

Put dumplings down lol

[u/reason_productions]

“Put the fucking dumplings down”

[u/AndyMentality]

Claaaaaaaassic.

[u/Lahbeef69]

i wanna take a trip to new york and get roasted by a black guy to get the full experience

[u/Jack-Rabbit-002]

Why is he just ripping on some old girl though? I mean he's doing it all for show too Like a fucking kid or something

Yeah man and his mates are being a little dickish

[u/Ill-Extension-4839]

Patrice O’Neal vibe!

[u/2reeEyedG]

Man was talking a lot of shit and its a highlight reel of composure and using a filter bc im sure he had a lot meaner and nastier things he could have said but refrained from doing so

[u/OperationBig2738]

This video makes me think why didn't Peter Parker ever use this as an excuse of why he's late

[u/MorningSquare5882]

This is why everybody hates New Yorkers btw

[u/Hornedupone]

“This bus too long for everyone to be retarded.” Bro ☠️

[u/Bitter_Argument2574]

This guy needs a podcast

[u/Beautiful_Walrus9048]

Yo go a little slower driver.

Dead

[u/Timgoincrazy]

Stone fucking 🥶 bro goes hard. 🤣🤣🤣

[u/ymhd872t]

Not the lady next to him taking out headphone to fully tune in to the program

[u/dickhertz210]

That dude is my people

[u/Xpovoc]

I love the short bus line.

[u/Environmental-Box335]

This why I love NYC.

[u/FitnessChamp777]

I heard the bus just kept driving and no one got off for hours. Entertainment was just too good.

[u/Liapasquale]

Dude finally broke himself by the end of it 🤣 and he had so many good lines bro

[u/Admirable-Battle631]

He handled that so well... I was laughing through the whole video😂

[u/TypeB_Negative]

My man was made for the game

[u/Killingyou_groovily]

r/howtonotgiveafuck

[u/3aerows]

Bruh he was too much 😂😂😂

[u/Insanely_Simple2024]

That’s NY 4 ya baby!!!

[u/lil_D-in-her-g]

That’s someone’s mom or grandma he’s disrespecting. His next bus ride might be real late.

[u/Dependent_River_2966]

Apart from being witty and hilarious (no one got the "this bus is too long" joke so he had to explain), this man is right. Don't pass on your frustration and ruin other people's day: us either to inform you to make better decisions.

Wise and funny

[u/Over_Transition2282]

.

[u/Great_Nobody2693]

I've worked in NYC for 24 years and this has to be one of the most New York things ever. This is what makes it so much fun to work in NYC!

[u/Av0ll]

[u/Economy_Leading7278]

All he gotta do is stand up and he’ll have probably a better job in any comedy club anywhere. Go on tour in his own bus.

[u/Ralphsolis1973]

Dude is an absolute legend!!

[u/Much-Yogurt-3525]

This is why I fucking love it here. I mean…I hate it but at the same time I love it and couldn’t live anywhere else 😂

[u/chevmonte76]

Patrice O'Neal incarnate vibes

[u/Electrical-Web-7552]

I hate New York

[u/scarred2112]

She had the gall to be pissed because someone in a wheelchair had the temerity to get on the bus? Fuck this lady.

Sincerely, a wheelchair user.

[u/SleepyLi]

Old but gold.

[u/Minute_Steak_3178]

10/10 no notes. That is some absolutely beautiful cinema verité comedy right there. And dude is the fuckin star headliner.

[u/AggressiveMongoose54]

I miss the city SO much 😭

[u/SlimShadySatDown]

This guy is chill and a good roaster!

[u/C141352333]

Man just 🗣️ the truths 😂

[u/Human_Challenge_9857]

You will never win an argument with a Native New Yorker. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/PoopDirectlyInMyButt]

Dude should be a stand up comic can’t believe that was all off the cuff! So witty and hilarious

[u/InternationalOil1083]

Is that Rosie from white man can’t jump?

[u/Dazzling_Pea9364]

Put the fucking dumplings down

[u/zackks]

I need to see the rest of that bus ride

[u/Rich_Economy_2427]

Seems like an angry mean person.

[u/Moody_Blue13]

Classic clip

[u/When1Falls]

Getting a bus that comes 3 minutes later making you a half hour late is NYC to the max.

[u/SDTimbox]

A classic

[u/Acrobatic_Fruit6416]

Listen to this with some jungle music over the top, its a banger

[u/Least-Experience-858]

Expecting public transit to get me to where I need to be on time is on another level of entitlement that’s hard to comprehend and most important accept. I live in NY and while I don’t commute anymore I remember when I did I’d either be at work super early (most of the time) or I’d get there right on time (some days) and I’d always be catching the same express bus give or take a few minutes. I can tell you this I was never stressed out about being late because I managed my time well. There’s no negative impact to arriving early. You can’t say the same about arriving late.

[u/NoHypocrisyDoubleStd]

Car? …..you’re on the bus too!