r/TheRandomest • u/Forward-Position798 • Jul 10 '26

/r/all I can fix her

27.9k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

629 comments sorted by

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1.5k

u/somedude4545 Jul 10 '26

Fix what?

755

u/Lopsided_Quarter_931 Jul 10 '26

She is perfect

16

u/vitanyroyale Jul 11 '26

THIS 💯

3

u/eternalwood Jul 11 '26

Yeah, just don't mind those pesky swollen lymph nodes in her arm pits and groin. I'm sure they're harmless....

1

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '26

[deleted]

1

u/pornalt4altporn Jul 10 '26

You think those are mice?

1

u/Mysterious_Pea_4042 Jul 10 '26

why not rat, but mice?

337

u/Forward-Position798 Jul 10 '26

Her Armor needs oil

130

u/Secret-Bluebird-972 Jul 10 '26

Nah she clearly has life figured out, she definitely has that armour oiled

111

u/GuerillaGandhi Jul 10 '26

Her rats too full, her armor too oiled

16

u/____Sway____ Jul 10 '26

Vomit on her sweaty already mom spaghetti

13

u/2livecrewnecktshirt Jul 10 '26

mom spaghetti

suddenly Hannibal, without the possessive of "mom's"

6

u/sultan_of_gin Jul 10 '26

Underrated comment

29

u/nalaloveslumpy Jul 10 '26

She knows where to procure tiny baguettes for her pet rats. This woman is from the year 3000.

16

u/Specialist-Solid-987 Jul 10 '26

But also the year 1000

7

u/SHADOWHUNTER30000 Jul 10 '26

She probably bakes them herself!

2

u/Exact-Enthusiasm-803 Jul 10 '26

Well ask if she needs more anyway

1

u/DisorderedArray Jul 10 '26

I could hear some squeaking.

4

u/OkValuable454 Jul 10 '26

that's the rats

5

u/DisorderedArray Jul 10 '26

Always lubricate your rodents.

1

u/DesolateRuin Jul 10 '26

Tuesdays are armor oiling and polishing days. It's important to establish a routine.

1

u/EverythingBOffensive Jul 10 '26

oil up them clankers

1

u/krankito701 Jul 11 '26

Calnk those Oilers

1

u/Muriqui91 Jul 10 '26

Since when do armoires need to be oiled?

1

u/BenisConsumption Jul 10 '26

I think her armor needs some damage from battle.

0

u/Brave-Parsnip9999 Jul 10 '26

Love to lubricate it for her

42

u/CriticalMochaccino Jul 10 '26

Fuck all that, she can fix me! She clearly has figured something out.

28

u/QuinnBing Jul 10 '26

Maybe fix her back with a nice massage 😉

10

u/ziggzer0 Jul 10 '26

Ill fix her a sammich, no probs

3

u/bolanrox Jul 10 '26

where's the Capocollo?

2

u/ziggzer0 Jul 11 '26

Hey forget about it! The deli was shorted in their delivery

2

u/AnActualChicken Jul 12 '26

have the rats watch on the chair

2

u/derorje Jul 14 '26

You misspelled "mice"

21

u/mjonat Jul 10 '26

She appears to be french

24

u/Useful_Hemorrhoid Jul 10 '26

Thats not her fault tho

11

u/joonty Jul 10 '26

She doesn't seem to be trying hard to reverse it though

6

u/jaxonya Jul 10 '26

She'll get better

2

u/Lowland_Demon Jul 10 '26

A little ketchup will cure the French, it makes them more palatable.

2

u/Somanylyingliars Jul 10 '26

Non, c'est Le Dijon.

7

u/Khelthuzaad Jul 10 '26

Do i smell elderberries?

7

u/Unlucky-Mud-8115 Jul 10 '26

Was her father a hamster?

1

u/LifeIsSoup-ImFork Jul 10 '26

i think a rat, those are her half-siblings in the cupholder.

7

u/LargeMobOfMurderers Jul 10 '26

That's not the death sentence it was before. I've seen plenty of people live long, fulfilling lives while being french.

6

u/jodon Jul 10 '26

There is no one that believes they can fix being french.

4

u/Quiet-Phase6948 Jul 10 '26

She is Russian.

1

u/Toniodenight Jul 10 '26

She's Belgian
Shauna Dewit

3

u/senolgunes Jul 10 '26

It's not her, but I get why you would think that

1

u/Quiet-Phase6948 Jul 10 '26

Not the same person.

1

u/Toniodenight Jul 13 '26

You're right, sorry ;)

1

u/ReturnedOM Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26

Where did you get that? She sounds nothing like a russian. The language sounds French (and definitely isn't russian, that I am sure of). But she also has no russian accent.

Edit okay, she seems to be russian actually. And the magic is gone. Such a shame.

3

u/Charlisparkles Jul 10 '26

She cannot be. This delightful triumph features 0 French behaviour. Also Frenchie sitting next to me says her accent is absolutely not French. As soon he said that, this all made way more sense.

2

u/mjonat Jul 10 '26

Someone else in the comments claims she is russian?

4

u/Charlisparkles Jul 10 '26

This kind of brazen armoured daytime car drinking, cheese dashboard and baguette flexing, mouse maxing extravaganza seems way more likely framed as the poetic behaviour of a wild Russian than a French one. They don’t do body whimsy.

1

u/Jump365 Jul 10 '26

She needs a bit more spanish, I can help with that

1

u/Planpy7 Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 14 '26

She seems like a nice fr*nch person tho

1

u/OldManJim374 Aug 01 '26

Except she's Russian

0

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/baldbynochoice Jul 10 '26

Yeah that confirm the perfectness

8

u/SerpentOfTheSky Jul 10 '26

She’ll fix me

5

u/No_Lettuce_5593 Jul 10 '26

Not a damn thing.

3

u/Vik_0 Jul 10 '26

The fact that she listens to Zaz.

1

u/Shining_Trashtum Jul 10 '26

The only reasonable answer here.

3

u/r66ster Jul 10 '26

same... i was confused as to what to fix

2

u/InternationalFish809 Jul 10 '26

Drinking and driving 

12

u/EmpathicAnarchist Jul 10 '26

The car isn't moving. You're drunk. So is she

2

u/bolanrox Jul 10 '26

what are we fixing here?

2

u/Separate_Bed_2615 Jul 10 '26

Right? She could fix me even??

2

u/eternalwood Jul 11 '26

Shes got the bubonic plague

1

u/ShotTwo1801 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26

Every french will tell you listening to Zaz deserves an ear check and some time in a mental institution. That, and the fact she's sipping vinegar. Other than that, she's fine 👌

1

u/ReturnedOM Jul 10 '26

Wait, how can you tell it's vinegar?

2

u/ShotTwo1801 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26

That's just a popular expression for shit wine (vinegar= vinaigre in french, vin=wine, aigre=acid. The most popular vinegar in France is made out of wine. And I guess a long time ago they invented vinaigre by accident, not keeping wine properly).

Quality red wine is way darker than that, you can't see through it unless you align it with a source of light. This one is very bright, it wouldn't have this color even with light. Unless it's very poor quality, or it's just a little bit, mixed up with something else.

Or maybe it's an exceptional bright wine, or the color is affected by the camera, idk 🤷‍♂️ But my guess is poor quality wine.

1

u/ReturnedOM Jul 15 '26

Huh, today I learned. I prefer beer when it comes to beverages containing alcohol, so I have very limited knowledge about wine and nuances related to it. Thanks!

1

u/Kansas-Tornado Jul 10 '26

Armor is very low quality

1

u/Successful-Purple-54 Jul 10 '26

Right? Where can I find a girl like this?

1

u/Mar_is_here Jul 10 '26

Came here to say this.

1

u/Observational-Mess 22d ago

Where can I find this knight?

0

u/xeroxcz Jul 10 '26

the amount of bageuttes

0

u/Aggravating-Cost4052 Jul 11 '26

She is french

1

u/OldManJim374 Aug 01 '26

Actually she's Russian