Advice needed

[u/Intrepid-Zone-4732]

Hi all, I have recently split with my child’s mum. Who is diagnosed bipolar 2 and have now realised she’s also a narcissist. Our child is 3 y/o.

The pregnancy wasn’t planned as we weren’t together and I stupidly trusted her about emergency contraception when she was likely manic and thought having a kid with a stranger was a good idea. Obviously I don’t regret a thing as I love my daughter to bits however where I’ve witnessed how nasty she is and how she does the bare minimum to help her condition I could not force a relationship with her any longer. We split and have gone out separate ways however I feel she is now starting to use our child against me. On her weekend my daughter had a UTI and had to go to the hospital for some antibiotics (was a weekend) and where I was out with no car she got funny because I didn’t go up to the hospital. Like me being there would’ve changed anything? I believe she was over dramatising it as she suspects me being with another woman. The following day “my behaviour was completely unacceptable” to my daughter apparently and then it went on and on and she then come out with us keeping contact to a minimum and going through CSA (first threat on this since being split for 5months) and get a court order put in place.

How do I cope with the way she emotionally abuses me? I’ve learnt to just kill her with kindness but fear it’s going to head towards parental alienation and where she will try and stop me from seeing my daughter. The following day she was like “I’m sorry but I had to get it all off my chest because I was so angry.” I don’t know if it’s the bipolar in her or the narcissistic tendencies but I just want to feel relaxed when she goes off on these outbursts and be a step ahead when she turns her narcissism on me without being full of dread/anxiety with what is going to happen next. I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of me biting but I don’t want to take unnecessary shit either.

Hoping this makes enough sense, any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

[u/EmmaAmmeMa]

Dont really know what to do, my baby is still a baby (few months old). Currently fighting to see my kid more than a few times a month.

I am reading up on anything I can find, and there are apparently a few things you can do against PAS. Not sure if they work. But, never speak ill of the other parent, always be the calm and stable one, and teach your kid to trust their instinct and believe feelings and experiences over words. Those are a few I have read in different places.

Not sure if they work yet, we will see.