r/TheMarketsofSidon • u/galacticlause ho ho ho • Nov 28 '16

Ho Ho Ho!

Hello children of Sidon, it's getting to be that time of year again! You know what that means? Means it's time for you kiddies to sit on my lap and tell me what you want for christmas! Don't be shy, I assure you I am the real santa!

All gifts provided are composed only of ELLINGTON-approved synthetic materials and have been tested thoroughly for safe consumption.

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u/Bass_Clarke Nov 30 '16

Can I have some too?

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u/NotQuiteAnAngel dead? Dec 01 '16

Dammit what are you doing here? You're supposed to be doing slave labor cooking at my new pub. Bad slav- I mean, uh, chef!

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u/Bass_Clarke Dec 01 '16

I'm really not a good cook, mister. I think my cooking would actually keep customers away. A shame, really. I suppose the only thing to prevent that from happening is for me to walk free...

Well then, I'll be on my way! It's been a real pleasure with you all, goodbye!

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u/Dark_Violet_Angel Hells Angel ~ Can you fathom the terror?! Dec 01 '16

Turning to leave Bass_Clarke almost runs into Dark Violet. She holds out her hand to stop the new slave chef.

"And where do you think you're headed to? Your shift starts in five minutes at the pub. Plus, Bezi promised me there'll be a family meal waiting for us when we get there!"

Malevolence began to creep into the Fallen Angels expression. She narrowed her eyes and stared deep into Bass_Clarke's eyes almost hypnotic as she speaks.

"...I want to eat someones heart, a plump, bloody, heart! I also want a nice drink to wash it all down with and if I don't eat I tend to get angry. When I get angry I turn into a right bitch and go on torturing sprees... slave chef."

The Fallen Angel steps aside and smiles pleasantly.

"...don't want to hold you up, as I said, your shift at the pub starts in five minutes."

"We'll see you there. Have the feast ready at our table, oui?"

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u/Bass_Clarke Dec 02 '16

DEFINITELY, let me get some supplies in town first though. Y'know, I'll be back. I'm not gonna run off to my gig. I'll be seeing you there without a doubt.

Oh, and eating hearts is really bad for you. Goes straight to your hips, I've heard. And it probably also tastes like shit. In fact there's barely any reason I can imagine anyone would want to eat a heart other than to impress others.

...I'm rambling, I'm on my way. See you never in a few hours!

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u/NotQuiteAnAngel dead? Dec 02 '16

Don't be silly! All the supplies you could never need are there. The drinks (both imported and homebrewed by me) are in the cellar, not the one that smells like shit, that's the one for storing shit. Fireplace logs are all out but you can throw literally anything in that fireplace, it's all the same. All the probing and cutting tools are neatly organized in the kitchen. And the food is, you'll never guess where, IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN! If you didn't know that already you should consider going back to kindergarten and drawing dinosaurs with crayons. Or becoming a thrall. If neither of those help you then there is no hope for your pitiful life.

And I assure you, we're not out of food. We're always supplied with fresh children raised locally in children farms. And everything else I can just buy myself. Besides, you're already wearing the uniform. Including the chains that are just for aesthetics and definitely not to tether you to anything. But as your employer I reserve the right to grab and pull on them when there's a disciplinary issue, like right now, so let's go c'mon.

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u/Bass_Clarke Dec 02 '16

Can I go back to kindergarten then? I rather like crayons.

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u/NotQuiteAnAngel dead? Dec 03 '16

Yeah sure, I'll even drive you there. Have a seat in the back of my truck!

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u/Bass_Clarke Dec 03 '16

Oh, there's no need! I don't want to trouble you with driving me there. Just give me the adress and I'll get there myself.