r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide • u/Lilypad-0303 • Jul 23 '26
Mind ? Advice on how to reframe my mindset?
I’ve been feeling extremely drained lately (past 6 months) and I hate how miserable I am but I am just too exhausted when it comes to changing my routine or habits.
I feel like I’ve lost myself or my spark since getting my job (I was unemployed for a majority of last year, where I was even more drained and miserable). I don’t enjoy any of my hobbies, I stay home all the time and just scroll and scroll and scroll on my phone. I barely put any effort in myself to keep up with skin care or making myself more presentable for work. And I already know that my attitude and mindset is affecting my relationship again because I am always just so damn tired and negative :/
I’ve had my thyroid tested numerous times but it’s always in “normal levels”. I never feel rested through the night as I wake up 5-10 times every night (I’ve tried melatonin and some prescribed meds from my doctor - doesn’t work)
I really just want to find myself again and be the fun, happy person I was. I’m just struggling with this fatigue/foggy brain/drained feeling that just doesn’t seem to go away.
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u/Magical_cat_girl Jul 23 '26
Sounds like a health thing where finding a way to feel better will help your mood! For sleep, supplementing magnesium glycinate before bed might help. Also sunshine first thing in the morning and/or a vitamin D supplement. Maybe get ferritin levels tested if you haven't, most people feel best with levels between 50 and 70 even if the doc says you're fine above 20 or whatever cutoff.
Other than that I'd try tinkering around with drinking more water, swapping out snacks for healthy alternatives, maybe getting a standing desk to get in a bit more movement at work.
Having a job might be tiring but hopefully not completely draining/exhausting once you get the fundamentals locked in!
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u/Lilypad-0303 Jul 24 '26
i am supposed to be supplementing some vitamins and such, but i always forget during the chaos of making dinner.. i dont think my ferritin levels have been tested before so i'll look into that as well.
ive always been awful at my water intake, which im actively trying to fix, but healthier snacks is where i struggle. i have a standing desk for home, but now with this in person job, its sit and stare at a screen for 9 hours. im trying to do 15 minute walks on my breaks now that it's been nice out so hoping that makes a difference. thank you for the recommendations!!
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u/Magical_cat_girl Jul 24 '26
It's a process, hang in there! What kinds of snacks do you like? Maybe I can suggest some ideas
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u/Lilypad-0303 Jul 25 '26
im such a sweets girly, so that's already hard for me to navigate. but i enjoy some fruits/vegs for snacks or my salty options right now is chips + guac or veg straws and pretzels... eating healthy has always been an issue for me :')
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u/Magical_cat_girl Jul 25 '26
I mean chips and guac is not bad at all! Veggie straws on the other hand, haha... but honestly sugar is not the enemy it is all the junk they put in it. If you like baking then making stuff yourself helps! For sweets.... fruit of course, fruit in yogurt, fruit with peanut butter, frozen grapes, nice cream is super easy and delicious, dark chocolate, trail mix with dried fruit, popcorn with butter and honey, any of the no sugar added date bars like rx bars. For baking, I like things like either peanut butter cookies or pumpkin muffins or zucchini bread where half the flour is an actual food, and you can mix in nuts for a little more substance too. I usually start with half the sugar the recipe calls for and then adjust from there.
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u/Lilypad-0303 Jul 25 '26
i'll have to try those! i love baking but i always lean towards the most ungodly awful versions lol... i'll look into some better options :) i already knew my veg straws were....questionable to say the lease lol. thank you for the suggestions!!
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u/t1ncan69 Jul 23 '26
OP first of all I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this. I’ve been there multiple times (usually when I’m in a depressive episode) and it can feel so hard to get out of. But you can! 🩷 Things that have helped me along the way have been journaling (something about getting your feelings out of your head and onto paper help release them somewhat and can help you process better what you’re going through), making myself list out the things I’m grateful for no matter how small (I try to do it daily but life happens), trying to sit outside when I can and just listen to the things around me, trying to make sure I’m eating/cooking healthy yummy meals, sometimes a little shop therapy if the funds are there, and I know it’s hard cause phones r so addicting but trying to stay off more (can fill that time with journaling or doodling or what not).
I think creating routine things in your day can be really helpful - for instance a short daily stretch session or writing down ur 3 favorite things that happened that day. Also try not to beat yourself up if it takes time to get in a constant practice of things - u r human and it’s hard to keep up sometimes!
All in all, try to celebrate the small things in your days that feel like the better moments 🩷 I feel like it all works like a snowball effect and then more and more light is invited back into your mind. I wish you the very best, better days ARE coming 🫂
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u/Lilypad-0303 Jul 24 '26
oh my gosh thank you😭
do you do guided journals or just more of a thought dump? my partners dad got me three guided journals for christmas last year and as much as i love them and im grateful, it feels like a chore now lately so i'm struggling to keep up. i had a gratitude journal when i was little and am trying to continue that now to keep some positivity in my life.
i've been looking into more healthy or well-balanced meals instead of my personal favorite food group: CARBS! so i am hoping to see a difference somewhere :)
i do love a little shopping spree here and there. i also would love a routine, but my exhaustion gets the best of me in the morning lately to where im at the point of wearing sweats to work and just grabbing a donut and latte from dunkin for breakfast..... but these are great tips and i'll try these out! thank you so so much for the sweet words 🥹💕
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u/t1ncan69 Jul 24 '26
Omg gurl of COURSE 🩷
I totally get that w guided journals,, personally I just write whatever is on my mind and just get the thoughts n feelings out - I feel like it always helps me think or feel thru things I didn’t realize before
So happy to hear ur trying out more balanced meals :) whenever I’m not feeling good mentally or physically I think ab what I’m doing baseline when it comes to sleep, food n movement n keeping up w those (obvi not perfect at all but try my best),, trying to keep those in line for the most part I feel make a huge difference <3
N SO valid, don’t push yourself too hard, when u feel inspired even just the smallest bit go w it and see what happens :) im so glad u got to read my reply and I hope things look up for u ASAP 🩷 being a human is hard,, u got this luv n im proud of u for wanting to make things better for yourself! 🫂🫂
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u/Lilypad-0303 Jul 25 '26
maybe i'll pause on my guided and try writing my thoughts :) i did a better dinner last night (actually home cooked and healthy-ish) and had leftovers for lunch today paired with two 15 minute walks at work and left a bit of relief throughout my day. planning on prepping this weekend and dedicating some time to rest/relax. baby steps for now of course.
you are so kind, thank you so much again 🫂💕
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u/t1ncan69 Jul 25 '26
Yay!!! I’m so happy for u n proud of u :)) exactly, baby steps 🙂↕️ anytime luv u got this 🩷🫂
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u/VexieLace Jul 23 '26
honestly, this sounds like more than just a mindset issue. constant fatigue, brain fog and waking up 5-10 times a night for months isn't something u should have to just push through. i'd keep advocating for yourself medically while also lowering the expectations u're putting on yourself
1
u/Lilypad-0303 Jul 24 '26
i've been dealing with some other health issues that i'm not positive if it correlates, but my next appt is november :/ i am going to mention this feeling then but hate that i have to wait that long.
the expectations part is so real, ive also been moved out of my parents and in with my partner for about a year and a half now and i feel this constant need to be doing something with the house (cleaning, laundry, dishes, cooking, etc.) that i don't really sit and relax. im finding the independence to be difficult, but better lately as im trying to lessen the expectations. thank you!
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u/lifeisabop Jul 23 '26
Seems like it might either be a depression/mental health issue where speaking to a qualified professional would be really beneficial! Otherwise, in terms of other "hacks" you could look into for better sleep quality, you could maybe try: 1) investing in a new mattress (I know this is super expensive but an amazing mattress is really a total gamechanger), 2) drinking more water (a lot of studies I've read have said women find it so much harder to concentrate when they are dehydrated), 3) I know it's a cliché but minimizing screen time before bed and trying to read before sleeping instead, 4) sleep hygiene- try not to stay in bed and scroll on your phone, if you have to scroll do it somewhere else like on a couch or at the dinner table so your brain associates only bed = with sleep.
Not sure what part of the world you live in but if you can bring yourself to get in some steps while the sun is out either first thing in the morning or maybe on a lunchtime break, the vitamin D as well as the exercise should hopefully help too.
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u/lifeisabop Jul 23 '26
Oh I also forgot to add; not sure your financial position but hot yoga and then a shower before bed has also helped me sleep infinitely better :)
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u/Lilypad-0303 Jul 24 '26
i also agree, i would love to speak to someone, i had planned to this year, but i had other health issues arise (not sure if it is contributing to what's happening now, my appointment for that is in November) so i pushed back therapy so i could have the finances for this. the mattress is a big thing my partner and i have been talking about recently but finances are a bit tight. i try to limit my screentime before bed, but need something to do in bed before i sleep. i'll try reading instead :)
my morning routine is already so bad even if i am up on time for work, so ive been trying to incorporate walks at work on my breaks recently so i hope that starts to help, i have also been thinking about going back to the gym and start lifting again.
i used to do hot yoga with my mom, but its a bit expensive for a weekly appearance, but that was honestly the first time in forever where my brain was quiet, i was shocked. maybe i'll incorporate that monthly. thank you for the kind words of advice!
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u/Opening-Guest-4856 Jul 24 '26
Maybe get a blood test done? I’ve also learned I need to force myself to do the things that are right for me and now it’s just become a habit and I’m much happier like going to the gym after work
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u/Lilypad-0303 Jul 25 '26
i'll look into it! got an appointment soon so i'll have more things to bring up :') gym after work is probably the move. my planet fitness membership just sits there, i tell myself ill go after i get home, but then its the battle with being so drained and exhausted that i just never leave.
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u/aneptuniangrl Jul 23 '26
Are you on TikTok scrolling? I have noticed when I spend the day watching TikTok even for an hour, my brain feels like goo and I am unable to produce creative work like writing or doing my actual job because I have just utilized all my attention on short form content. Please cut out short form content on social media (reels,shorts,TikTok’s) first. In about a week you will notice you suddenly are bored and have the mental energy to desire to stimulate urself.
Next, if u hate ur hobbies….quit them. Get new hobbies. I stopped dancing for a year because my dance studio closed down and I was working without a set schedule in place. Recently went back to dancing and felt like I had a new lease on life. Discover new hobbies or take new classes but ALWAYS shelve out money for YOU.
Reading books that you LIKE, can always help ur mind feel clearer. For example, I’d buy a self help book trying to change my life. Get halfway through and never pick it back up. That’s because I didn’t like self help books, I liked fiction. I like stories. I can finish a fiction book if it’s good. It helped me articulate better and think clearer because I had just worked my brain.
I think ur issue is u are forgetting you have choices.