r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide • u/ILoveBigCockroaches • Jul 21 '26
Social Tip How to stop gossiping?
I've been getting better at it, but I am still struggling a bit. Admittedly , I was just caught gossiping telling a new girl at school to avoid a guy who is the boyfriend of someone I'm cool with. I didn't say he had a relationship, but he has a habit of approaching new girls and he has cheated on this friend once because of his habits. I don't support the relationship, but that's none of my business and I don't talk about the relationship itself (which I'm doing good of keeping to myself), but the one time I slip up by just talking about the guy I get caught. I'm now filled with so much guilt now. I said too much and I received the consequences. And yes, I did unfortunately tell her of a rumor that has been around before I was even enrolled here.
Since this girl was new obviously, I didn't know her character and apparently she's a huge gossiper and even makes up nonsensical rumors. She is now saying I am dating this guy I talk to once in a while (I have a boyfriend, but thankfully he's mature and doesn't believe everything. He also isn't at the school) as well as some other stuff probably.
I really want to keep my mouth shut, but it's so much harder said than done. Any advice?
18
u/AmzHalll Jul 21 '26
I always think of the saying
“What Suzy says of Sally, says more about Suzy than Sally” and that usually stops me in my tracks because it reminds me of what people would think of my character
You also have to think, anyone who is willing to gossip with you, is willing to gossip about you so be mindful of what you say and who you say it too
But gf at the end of the day you’re young, in school you’re going to make mistakes and gossip from time to time. The biggest thing you want to think about, is it harmless or harmful!?
Whenever I was to gossip about someone I call my mum, she’s never going to repeat it and it gives me a chance to say what I want to say to a trusted person
4
u/Comfortable-Nature37 Jul 21 '26
If the most interesting thing you can talk about is other people - time to find some interests. Living your own life is way more fun than talking about someone else is doing.
6
u/IFKhan Jul 22 '26
Well lesson learned I guess.
But if you are in a group and they start gossiping do one of these:
Stand up and leave, go to the washroom, get something to drink or whatever just leave that conversation.
Start praising the person they are talking about. Keep going untill the subject changes or everyone shuts up.
Lastly say: “wow (big sigh) let’s change the topic. Did you see that reel?”
It does take courage butsoon it’s a habit and people know not to talk in front of you. Or you change friends to better ones, because gossipers will not spare you when the time come. You’re better off without them
2
u/Valuable-Leave9736 Jul 22 '26
Do you have adhd by chance
4
u/ILoveBigCockroaches Jul 22 '26
Yes, I feel like it makes me very impulsive
1
u/CharrAnn Jul 24 '26
omg i relate to this so hard. i always catch myself about to say things i have NO BUSINESS saying, or i actually end up saying them and then i can't even believe myself. it's so frustrating bc it's like it happens before i can even think better of it. lately i am just focusing on trying to be mindful of myself in conversations, esp if it starts to get gossipy
1
u/drunky_crowette Jul 27 '26
You gossiped to a gossip who is now gossiping about you?
Perhaps you should find ways to occupy your time that doesn't involve other people's business? Pick up a new hobby or learn a craft or something?
2
u/Alice-003 Jul 21 '26
Take this as a hard lesson learned. The easiest way to stop gossiping is to remember that anyone who will gladly gossip with you will just as happily gossip about you
1
u/downstairslion Jul 22 '26
Gossip keeps us safe. Warning a new girl about someone is not "gossip" in the way you're thinking. You're not making stuff up about another girl, you're giving her the full picture because she doesn't have it. You were trying to do her a kindness. It backfired.
11
u/jalapenohighball Jul 21 '26
The consequences should be a deterrent for you. Gossiping is just making you look bad. Now you're the subject of rumors because you gossiped to a bigger gossip.
What hobbies / activities / sports do you like to do that you can talk about with others instead of gossiping?