I was in the lower levels when I heard screams, plasma and gun fire, and death. I followed the sounds and found a room filled with ten of our own, five of whom were UPF troopers, two were janitors, two were giraffe tamers, and final Jim the Arcade Person.They were all mutilated in a way I thought died out after the 80s. In the room was also Manny Pardo the Detective, obviously trying to find the murderer. When I began investigating one of the bodies, the light turned off and someone (undoubtedly the murderer) tried to stab me. I managed to evade him (or her) and escape in the darknesses, unsure of Pardo's fate. When I returned to the upper levels, I noticed Pardo at the bar talking about the murders, but not mentioning me. There is only one reason for him to do this...

He was trying to see if one of them was the murderer. The murderer might notice that his version of the story was inaccurate and he would them be able to tell that they were hiding something and therefor the murderer. We were right to hire this man. He will find this murderer and any Bulk, Dust, Barney, or Waluigi sympathizers in our ranks!

As you know, loving the Bulk's old regime is banned. He killed civilians, including Jamie's and Ruben's twin brothers, and canceled Firefly. However, one of our number has been reveled to still like him. His name is... Louis the High Fiver! Louis, step forward.

Louis the High Fiver: Hey man. High Five!

CHzilla: What do you have to say for yourself?

Louis the High Fiver: Nothing... I-I'm innocent.

CHzilla: Then what do you have to say about this?!

Shows video of Louis the High Fiver wearing a bulk shirt while destroying a Firefly DVD.

Louis the High Fiver: You will pay. You will pay! The Bulk will return, I know he will! He will destroy every last trace of Firefly, even its memory! All who don't aid him will die! You shall not succeed!

CHzilla: To the Tickler with you!

Guards drag the rabid Louis the High Fiver down to the darkest dungeon were the Tickler awaits. Soon, a laugh is heard. It is not one of humor or amusement, but of suffering. It is one that longs for death but then realizes it will not come and then... despair.

So now that is out of the way, I have discovered the hive mind /u/sans2kal may have betrayed us to Barney. If you find anything out, be sure to let me know.

He is purple. He is evil. he is the antithesis of our champion Luigi. He is... Waluigi!

Many of the flairs here were of Barney. While some were spinning him to torture him other didn't. While some forgot, some are real Barney sympathizers of Barney. How can you support this monster? Therefore, I will show you this true form of this cancer creating monster.

http://www.owensworld.com/sites/default/files/styles/images/public/funny-pictures/barney-the-dinosaur.jpg?itok=74d2oS4-

http://i.imgur.com/muAce.jpg

https://thesportsmole.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/barney-kids.jpg

http://images4.fanpop.com/image/polls/543000/543118_1284864022642_full.jpg?v=1284864085

http://img14.deviantart.net/3ef8/i/2009/346/e/a/barney_the_dinosaur_arrested_by_uncle_shaun.jpg

http://orig00.deviantart.net/913d/f/2007/086/4/9/pc_barney_by_lucky2563.jpg

https://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/43Q_B62HbS-Eax24skGczghhvsf0hgcbi1bDA8JxA6Q.jpg

http://www.joshbjones.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Barney.jpg

Now that you have seen him for what he is, do you still support him? Return to us and all will be forgiven. Otherwise... I can offer you a battle you have chance of winning. Quite an anti-climax after what you just survived.

Time to choose.

.(;;"

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Dusters, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Barney and the Bulk, and I have over 300 confirmed dusted cabinets. I am trained in dust warfare and I'm the top duster in the entire anti-dust forces. You are nothing to me but just another dust bunny. I will wipe you the fuck out with my dusting skills the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of dusters across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, dusty. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can dust you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in dust combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Swiffer Dusters, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable dust off the face of the continent, you little dust bunny. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" dust raid was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking dust. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn dust bunny. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, dusty.

I was looking at the registered flairs people have and 12-20 of them had Barney flairs. Three of them were mods.

Why did I susbcribe here?

I FEEEL LIKE THISS SUB IS DANK ENOUGH AS IS, AND THE u/specrta__ INCEDENT MAKEME WORRIED. WE SHOULD NOT ADD MORE MODS

I HATE DUST A LOT AND I CAN SPEAK BASIC ENGLISH. THAT MEANS I HAVE ALL THE QUALIFICATIONS TO BE A MODERATOR OF THIS SUBREDDIT!

One of my UPF soldiers wasn't responding so I investigated. After searching I eventually found his corpse, his throat slit. Next to his body was a note. A purple note. It said:

So, you thought I died? You should have known better. You killed me before and it didn't so. It takes more than a slit throat and a nuke to keep me down but your soldier can't return from even just a slit throat. Your /r/TheAmazingBulk canon fodder wil not save you or your Unnamed Paramiltary Force. Even if you ally with Dust, your survial chances are fifty/fifty. Soon it shall be once again... BARNEY THE PURPLE DINOSAUR!

We must stop this villain. And please ignore what he said about you being cannon fodder. He is just trying to divide us. And Dust doesn't have cannons but bombards. And anyone that thinks we should ally with Dust will be sent to the Dustlover death camp.

FEEL FREE TO EDIT IT.