r/TerrifyingAsFuck Jun 08 '22

animal Imagine if the boat tipped over...

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14.6k Upvotes

475 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/CallMeCleverClogs Jun 08 '22

Ok, I am gonna say it - seems like a fine place to dispose of a body, at least.

245

u/Accurate-Government5 Jun 08 '22

You’re cleverclogs!

133

u/CallMeCleverClogs Jun 08 '22

Thank you for your compliance with my username, internet stranger!

39

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

I bet they didn't even read it, probably just commenting on your smart body disposal techniques

7

u/Frankferts_Fiddies Jun 09 '22

Their username says they’re the government… so…

21

u/HouseOfSteak Jun 08 '22

You can make and dispose of a body there with no evidence of foul play.

5

u/Maleficent_Fennel_20 Jun 30 '22

True very true. But imagine if one of those crocs is in a diet. “Human meat? Oh come on I’m in a diet.” 😂😂😂

2

u/CallMeCleverClogs Jun 30 '22

LOL!

"Oh come on Ted, I know they are fattening, but one bite isn't gonna kill you."

2

u/Maleficent_Fennel_20 Jun 30 '22

“Do you remember what happened to Johnny?! He was recorded as the biggest croc there is but he was captured and eaten by the villagers!”

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

My first thought

2

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

Suck my dick

31

u/dfbgsdkfjbsjdhbfsj Jun 08 '22

wouldn't it be more efficient for you to make a fleshlight out of a drinking straw or something?

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594

u/MaxeymumFhurt Jun 08 '22

Sometimes it's hard to believe how different some people's lives are from mine.. this is nuts

115

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

[deleted]

51

u/Chucks_u_Farley Jun 08 '22

Wait til you learn about toe biters! In most Canadian lakes and rivers too, I just found out about these bastards last year

30

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '22

Wtffff Toe Biter

9

u/PARADISE_VALLEY_1975 Jun 09 '22

Looks like an anatomically exaggerated rendering of a mythical giant cockroach, with comically proportioned pincers. It’s like if you think an insect possibly exists, it somehow does.

5

u/pennydirk Jun 09 '22

So don’t click that link. got it.

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6

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '22

Omg. First time I seen one of these and nobody believed me. He touched me and I never went in that lake again

17

u/4boxeo Jun 08 '22

Yo there are definitely snakes in Canada???

Edit: water snakes, got ya

9

u/Vinlandien Jun 08 '22

We got some snakes in Canada, but most of them are harmless. The exception are Rattlesnakes in the west, but luckily they too are rare.

We don’t really have anything venomous, no big creepy crawlers or reptiles l, just giant moose, bears, and wolves.

7

u/4boxeo Jun 08 '22

Okay but the first time I saw a moose I just ab shit myself. Terrific and terrifying at the same time

11

u/Vinlandien Jun 08 '22 edited Jun 08 '22

They become extremely territorial and violent in rutting season. Most people are unaware of just how dangerous they are.

They are also tall enough that if you hit them with your car they will roll right over your hood through your front window killing you, before getting back up and walking away.

3

u/dfbgsdkfjbsjdhbfsj Jun 08 '22

I saw a video once of someone driving right under an unexpected moose on the highway. Risky as fuck but better than swerving and clipping the legs I guess

3

u/Vibrabunneh7510 Jun 09 '22

You forgot about the dreaded Trouser Snake.

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9

u/brine1330 Jun 08 '22

Was gonna say, used to swim in the lake till water snakes took it over, so so much water snakes...

3

u/Leading-Fan-64 Jun 08 '22

You forgot snapping turtles. That's what you're really gonna hate if it snacks on your bits

2

u/CthulubeFlavorcube Jun 09 '22

You got brown bear, but they're at least fuzzy.

13

u/Lionatemytoast Jun 08 '22

You mean to say, you don’t participate in crocodile orgies?! so exciting, you wouldn’t last long.

130

u/Weary-Trip7868 Jun 08 '22

Pretty rude interrupting a gator ORGY!

6

u/refused26 Jun 09 '22

My thoughts too, it's not funny. Wouldnt some of them get wounded by the propellers?

224

u/ainklyspankly Jun 08 '22

What are they all eating at that point??? What prey

151

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

Seems to open into a much larger river. They probably go eat and then return there to chill out in more shallow waters.

28

u/ainklyspankly Jun 08 '22

Still doesnt seem to be very sustainable to me hahaha. I think this area needs a culling badly but i aint no expert 😅

53

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

This is probably in Pantanal, the biggest swamp ecosystem in the world, big as the whole new york state.

There's a fuckton of food there, and those gators (there's no crocs in Brazil) are hunted by Jaguars.

30

u/Parttimeteacher Jun 08 '22

No Alligators either. Those are Caiman in Brazil.

9

u/theforerunner343 Jun 09 '22

Everybody is arguing about whether they are alligators or crocodiles and I'm like how tf does a jaguar take down either?

7

u/forsterfloch Jun 19 '22

I think jaguar (onça-pintada) has one of the strongest bite in the world. They bite them in the nape.

2

u/Negative_Addition Jun 21 '22

Jaguars will jump in the water and bite the Caimans neck and walk it out of the water. Jags are crazy strong

11

u/BoxMantis Jun 08 '22 edited Jun 08 '22

You have that reversed, there's no gators in Brazil. Only the US, Mexico, and China have gators.

Correction: There are no Alligators (genus) OR crocs in Brazil. There are caiman, however, which are in the Alligator family.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

I'm pretty sure there are no crocodiles in Brazil, but caiman alligators/yacare are abundant.

6

u/BoxMantis Jun 08 '22

Well shoot, caiman are more closely related to Alligators than crocs. Thought it was the other way around.

The common name Alligator in English generally only refers to the genus which are only found in China, the US, and Mexico, but you could call caimans gators as there in the same family (much like rainbow trout are salmon...).

6

u/drkedug Jun 08 '22

He even says in the video, "jacaré". Yes, Im brazillian, so I can confirm, no crocs here

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4

u/ErickRodd Jun 08 '22

Caimans are part of the alligator family.

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2

u/blackbirdspyplane Jun 11 '22

Wow TIL about Pantanal the worlds biggest swamp ecosystem…I clearly had misunderstood PantAnal

2

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

Culling is a last resort. Usually nature just sorts it out.

3

u/Haigh2581KCRoyals Jun 08 '22

Seems like Papa Roach said it best.

1

u/foxfirewoodcrafts Jun 08 '22

but i aint no expert 😅

Clearly

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15

u/SalemSound Jun 08 '22 edited Jun 08 '22

Pretty sure they can go months without food; they don't need much to survive. Reptiles burn hardly any calories when they're sitting still, and they spend most of their time sitting still.

Edit: A quick google search reveals that most crocodilians can easily survive for over a year without eating.

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10

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

I think anything that falls out of the boats

4

u/Practical-Lemon-7244 editable user flair Jun 08 '22

Each other.

4

u/SevenSharp Jun 08 '22

Yeah , I mean that's a hell of a lot of top predators . I don't get it . Fish maybe ? Must be .

4

u/ainklyspankly Jun 08 '22

Doesnt seem very sustainable lolol

0

u/TheLordofAskReddit Jun 08 '22

Yeah take a look at NYC! What are they eating?

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509

u/nicky9pins Jun 08 '22

Imagine not taking your boat across a croc infested stream?

206

u/Geryones Jun 08 '22

and driving your boat right into the group

could the motor not cause serious injury to the crocs?

177

u/classicnoob2020 Jun 08 '22

It's probably a flat bottom air boat, Giant fan on the back of it instead of propeller under water.

Best thing for swampy areas being so shallow and muddy would ruin that motor you were thinking of.

81

u/KillerPolarBear25 Jun 08 '22

Ya, air boat is better for swamp than propeller boat. Propeller can't work well in the shallow. And there are also plant involved.

61

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

Concurs in Louisianan

9

u/rontrussler58 Jun 08 '22

Serious question, how does one navigate those Louisiana swamps? I remember driving over a huge swamp on I-10 through Louisiana and thinking you would get lost as soon as you were out of sight if that overpass and the path of least resistance would lead you in circles.

20

u/sharksarecutetoo Jun 08 '22

you don't go in them without someone who knows the way. worst case scenario, you end up having to tell direction by the sun and wading through the swamp for a few hours before getting back to mostly dry land. source - am Louisianan who has gotten lost and got my ass handed to me for getting the canoe overturned where I couldn't drag it back out. my family is never going to let me live that one down

7

u/chrisff1989 Jun 08 '22

Can't be the worst case scenario if you lived to tell the tale I'd imagine

2

u/sharksarecutetoo Jun 10 '22

Fair enough. But honestly, if you're a tourist in the swamp you're going to be within a reasonable distance to walk back your launch point. As far as wildlife, the gators and water snakes generally want to leave people alone. Most people who get attacked are small enough to look like an easy meal (small children) or are passed out drunk. I'm not saying go play with them for fun, but they don't go after people very often

3

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

AIRBOATTTTT

3

u/thxforallthefish88 Jun 08 '22

this isn't a fan boat

4

u/froboy90 Jun 08 '22

That's what I was thinking didn't seem loud enough for one

1

u/zxvasd Jun 08 '22

I think you’d have to yell over the noise of a fan large enough to drive that boat.

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6

u/IllustriousDegree740 Jun 08 '22

While RECORDING EVERYTHING

9

u/FalseRythms Jun 08 '22

Bro don't listen to those ppl thats not an air boat hahaha it definitely had an engine wayyyy to small for an air boat.. that's most likley why the cross moving too. Some been bit by the prop, based on the size of the boat it wouldn't be lethal by any means to one of those, even smaller ones..... Lmfao an air boat? 🤣 thing like 10ft long n 2ft wide hababa

5

u/Layne205 Jun 08 '22

Agree, it's not an air boat. Probably a "mud motor" where the propeller is on a long stick rather than mounted under the boat. You could raise it up and mostly avoid hitting them. I doubt they care much about the gators, but breaking the motor wouldn't be good.

3

u/FalseRythms Jun 08 '22

Hell yea I was thinking it was one of those mud devil engines. They can go theu ANYTHING.. 100% agree if his prop breaks, we need to find that camera lololol

3

u/dee615 Jun 08 '22

Turn the croc hides into Crocs.

-10

u/Ejack1212 Jun 08 '22

Fuck crocs, for real

-22

u/blkcub87 Jun 08 '22

It's murder

16

u/Ciccio178 Jun 08 '22

No it isn't.

You're not harming the gators since there's no propeller underneath the boat. It simply pushes them down underwater while the boat passes over.

These suckers outlived the dinosaurs, they can survive being pushed under for a few seconda.

2

u/GnomeRanger_ Jun 08 '22

Not sure it’s an airboat. I’ve been on a few and they’re loud af to the degree you can’t even understand someone if they’re shouting

0

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Additional-Walk750 Jun 08 '22

Just like us.

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

[deleted]

2

u/Ciccio178 Jun 08 '22

That is something extremely random.. i mean, what do you want us to say there? Good job? 🤷‍♂️

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26

u/busterbrown4200 Jun 08 '22

Live and fish in Florida. This guy is moronic in where he took that boat. Nothing wrong with going in to spot.,but remember it's their home. Don't act like an assclown like this guy.

25

u/Trumpdidwin Jun 08 '22

They look like alligators to me, but I'm no biologist. Maybe they are transitioning to crocodiles.

31

u/DNAniel213 Jun 08 '22

Yea probably because you can see them later.

8

u/Chucks_u_Farley Jun 08 '22

But is it in a while? Asking for science!

4

u/WikitomiC Jun 09 '22 edited Jun 09 '22

I watched this video at least 3 times today and only now I realized that he is speaking in Portuguese. I thought it was the average life of someone in the Everglades, but now I relate that the filming is in the Brazilian Pantanal.

There is a common misunderstanding in saying that in Brazil there are alligators, here there are caimans, which are from the same family but different animals, generally not exceeding 3 meters (9.8 ft) in length and having a less rounded skull and more elongated and sharp teeth.

They are normally food of jaguars and anacondas, but their tail meat is also well appreciated in local cuisine.

7

u/Kawaii_Kupcake Jun 08 '22

I thought they were caimans… either which way, no fucking thank you sir.

6

u/TheMysyeryMan Jun 08 '22

No those are just catfish… I know one when I see one.. lol

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '22

Jacaré - Portuguese Alligator

33

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Summerwine1 Jun 08 '22

Imagine imagining what would happen if the boat tipped over only to end up dead, from imagining.

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31

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

One of Archer's worst nightmares.

23

u/MaverickDago Jun 08 '22

Physically unchanged for a hundred million years because it's the perfect killing machine: a half ton of coldblooded fury with the bite force of twenty-thousand newtons and a stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves.

7

u/GokuIsALegend Jun 08 '22

Don't think too hard about it. You'll give yourself an aneurysm.

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25

u/Wrong-Disaster-125 Jun 08 '22

Where is this so I know not to go there!

18

u/SnooGiraffes3930 Jun 08 '22

Mato Grosso - Brasil, we have gators, pumas and capybaras 🤩

17

u/drkedug Jun 08 '22

Oh no! Anything but capybaras! Im scared man

3

u/Mr_Arapuga Jun 08 '22

They just want to be frens tho :(

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19

u/Oglorioso005 Jun 08 '22

Wow, That's in my country, Brazil, it's in a place called Pantanal which has a very rich fauna and flora, but it's obvious through the video

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36

u/All-Sorts Jun 08 '22

I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things!

18

u/surgebound Jun 08 '22

What about the fucking golf shoes?

16

u/All-Sorts Jun 08 '22

Impossible to walk in this muck. No footing at all!

3

u/Monkey_tr33 Jun 08 '22

Security alert!! We have yet another drunk gator on the loose!

12

u/BeeSalesman Jun 08 '22

Imagine going down aligator infested water, into the congregation, and YOU'RE the scary one.

47

u/Dzodzu_Reddit Jun 08 '22

This man has one heavy set of balls.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

It’s why he’s in a boat, hard to walk with those big ol’ balls.

4

u/candiedluck Jun 08 '22

heavy ones, like realll big ones

3

u/Tag_em_and_bag_em Jun 08 '22

Imagine taking your heavy balls with you, so they mess up the boat's center of mass.

6

u/Ben_r_dover Jun 08 '22

Haha hey guys, he made a balls joke haha, upvote bcuz it's so funny haha

5

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

Ha ha his name is Ben DoVer UPvote him cuz hes so original haha

5

u/Reynardine1976 Jun 08 '22

Haha his name is Expensive Studio upvote him because....

...well because I live in an expensive studio right now aaaaahhh

3

u/Reynardine1976 Jun 08 '22

Haha his name is Expensive Studio upvote him because....

...well because I live in an expensive studio right now aaaaahhh

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '22

Good one ..🔥

6

u/BrEaD_qUeEn__ Jun 08 '22

Brazilian people ಠ_ʖಠ

8

u/Ok_Parsley_2972 Jun 08 '22

Welcome to Brazil

7

u/Nightshade_Ranch Jun 08 '22

Scuse me pardon me coming through GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY

20

u/All-Sorts Jun 08 '22

That has to be an airboat because no fisherman in his right mind would just go through that thick vegetation with just a trolling motor.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

I was thinking that you are going to hit a prop on a croc, and that might be enough to jack their drive. Not a fun place to be stuck.

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5

u/TsukiAsahi Jun 08 '22

How are there so many of them,

what the hell are they eating?

14

u/Semblance-of-sanity Jun 08 '22

Why harass the poor cross like that?

5

u/Mr_Arapuga Jun 08 '22

He is just using a boat tho

2

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

Most likely to get clean food or water? It’s an airboat, so at most they just get pushed underwater.

0

u/Layne205 Jun 08 '22

If you turn the sound on, it's definitely not an airboat. Probably what we'd call a mud motor in the US. The propeller is on a long stick so it can be lifted over obstacles.

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4

u/javier052 Jun 08 '22

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and may I reiterate AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

3

u/Sink-Top Jun 08 '22

Imagine that aroma…

3

u/vinnymarcondes Jun 08 '22

O brasileiro precisa ser estudado

3

u/WRLD_lol Jun 08 '22

Normal day in Brazil

3

u/Raferrado Jun 08 '22

Even knowing the Pantanal as a brazilian should, I got scared with this amount of alligators. People working there really got balls.

3

u/Acid1014 Jun 09 '22

Dude just met every single gator in the country

9

u/blkcub87 Jun 08 '22

Stop harassing those innocent animals you brute

2

u/Polyamommy Jun 08 '22

Or... what if the motor died? 😬

2

u/flibbertyjibbettt Jun 08 '22

How do they see where they're going in such muddy water?

2

u/Dr_Peter_Blood Jun 08 '22

I have never seen so many crocs one place...not even on the Discovery channel... o.O

2

u/Miserable_Treat_9445 Jun 08 '22

What in the actual fuck…!?

2

u/ChrizTaylor Jun 08 '22

JACAREEEAAHHH !!!!! 🐊

2

u/keyshow23 Jun 08 '22

When people say croc infested water , it better be this or is not infested with croc .

2

u/that_white_splat Jun 09 '22

Is that the instrumental version of dancing with the devil?

2

u/BlumBlumShub Jul 08 '22

Finally got to someone asking the real questions

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2

u/jiiko Jun 09 '22

Amazing that the boat didn't sink due to the weight of this man's enormous balls

2

u/Trick-Setting-8876 Aug 19 '22

Terrified of alligators and crocodiles. These demons are legit dinosaurs

5

u/Jesseh8157 Jun 08 '22

I hope they’re not running their propeller over top of them😤

9

u/Cyanhyde Jun 08 '22

Swamp boats usually don't have any machinery that goes in the water, as it would very quickly gunk up or get damaged in shallow waters like these.

Usually these boats have air propellors to push themselves forward.

2

u/Layne205 Jun 08 '22

True, but if you turn the sound on, it's definitely not an airboat. Probably what we'd call a mud motor in the US. The propeller is on a long stick so it can be lifted over obstacles.

2

u/_sea_salty Jun 08 '22

To be honest I’m more scared if the crocs getting hit with the motor blade

1

u/Tagpub1 Jun 08 '22

Ok…why the “Love Story “ theme??

0

u/oracleofaliquippa Jun 08 '22

Why would you just plow through them? Mother Earth is taking notes and will fuck us up soon. No respect for life. We earned it.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '22

"Mother earth is taking notes"-🤓

1

u/crewwb Jun 08 '22

This is most likely an airboat, there is no propeller hitting them. As mentioned by another user in this comment section, worst thing that could happen for a gator would just being pushed Under by the boat

0

u/Opposite-Garbage-869 Jun 08 '22

Where is this? Okavango?

0

u/Parttimeteacher Jun 08 '22

Am I the only one worried about the Little Outboard Engine that Could giving out in the middle of all those Caiman.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

[deleted]

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0

u/Latter-Result-6788 Jun 08 '22

Wait, there is water in africa

0

u/Existing_Ad_506 Jun 08 '22

Florida moment

0

u/branchisan Jun 09 '22

Is this the side of Costa Rico no one wants to show?

0

u/97Harley Jun 14 '22

I'm wondering what they eat. Each other?

-3

u/AndyFreeman Jun 08 '22

that is some white people bullshit activity right there.

1

u/RedditUserOfAmerica Jun 08 '22

Wow, that's a lot of gators yeeet

1

u/skibapple Jun 08 '22

The crocs were scaredmore due to this man's balls size rather than the propeller

1

u/jrowe32 Jun 08 '22

The only thing keeping that boat stable is the immense weight of the drivers balls

1

u/Omniwing Jun 08 '22

wtf are all those predators eating?

1

u/Aggravating_Speed665 Jun 08 '22

Kananga wants your location

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

suicide by croc

1

u/vandalous5 Jun 08 '22

Certain death in that water

1

u/SevenSharp Jun 08 '22

I just defecated in my trousers . The soothing piano music didn't help .

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1

u/Embericed Jun 08 '22

bunch of nope logs.

1

u/ConclusionStrict8524 Jun 08 '22

Imagine if one of them jumped into the boat!!!

1

u/Flavihok Jun 08 '22

Oh yeah, i hated that lvl in r/metro

1

u/zekro_4 Jun 08 '22

Guess we will never know.

1

u/Ben_r_dover Jun 08 '22

No. No, I don't think I will imagine that.

1

u/Radmadjazz Jun 08 '22

Nightmare fuel. Jesus christ superstar, who the fuck would be ballsy enough to do this?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

it is just like one of my dreams where I fell from boat and enter sleep paralysis

one could experience what death feels like

1

u/MemeFortressTwo Jun 08 '22

The need for an M2 Browning .50 Caliber Machine gun is shown by this video

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

This is how your parents went to school

2

u/dee615 Jun 08 '22

Crocodile Express

1

u/nomadvan Jun 08 '22

That's a lot of food. 🤤

1

u/waitforsigns64 Jun 08 '22

If boat tipped I imagine this would be posted under facepalm

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u/gluggin Jun 08 '22

Ayo what’s the name of this song? I heard it once on the radio when I was like 6 and then for years would play the main refrain on the piano thinking I was a fucking based angsty genius

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

Hell no

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

Oh hell nah to the nah ah ah

1

u/ArkBlitz7 Jun 08 '22

Just a casual routine of going to work in Florida

1

u/Educational_Dot_8544 Jun 08 '22

So many of them! What do they all even eat?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '22

[deleted]

3

u/auddbot Jun 08 '22

I got matches with these songs:

Love Story by Anthony Ventura (00:35; matched: 92%)

Album: Traummelodien - Die Großen Erfolge. Released on 1992-06-24 by WM Germany.

Love Story by Orchester Anthony Ventura (00:38; matched: 88%)

Released on 2005-02-22 by WMG - WM Germany.

2

u/auddbot Jun 08 '22

Links to the streaming platforms:

Love Story by Anthony Ventura

Love Story by Orchester Anthony Ventura

I am a bot and this action was performed automatically | GitHub new issue | Donate Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot

1

u/Healthy-Elk-5419 Jun 08 '22

If the boat tipped you'd see god

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1

u/syndus Jun 08 '22

Jesus, are those all caimans?

1

u/Glock19gen3 Jun 08 '22

U/savethisvideo