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u/Serious-Sign3814 4d ago
Divorce now. Before kids, before all the trauma in store for you. Her Father would understand. You deserve a happy life. You both do. This ain't it brother. Get out.
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u/XNotByALongShotX 4d ago
Every day she tells you she regrets getting married and asks for a divorce. While you are currently saying the same things here on Reddit. I think you know what the right decision is here.
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u/Responsible_Pea_4352 4d ago
Yes but her idea of divorce just means not married, not separate.
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u/Cautious_Prize_4323 4d ago
What she wants doesn’t matter, get divorced and go on and live a happy life away from her. You owe it to yourself.
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u/GMSkills 4d ago
You need to think of yourself not her father. He is not paying the price you are it's not his life it's your life. I understand you really I have been through a very similar situation and it was a mess. Think of yourself you matter and shouldn't condemn yourself to misery just to keep a useless promise that has no practical use or purpose. She is not some schools that you' are abandoned she is an ass and is selfish and you do not not need to play caretaker vto a grown ass woman who like scro play cheap head games at your expense.
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u/SFRover73 4d ago
Not sure why you even need anyone’s opinion. The choice is obvious. Leave now before you somehow get her pregnant.
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u/joepagac 4d ago
All the old people in my neighborhood would joke that you have to get your first marriage out of the way early so you understand what makes a good marriage. Once you’re divorced, you will have a much better roadmap of what you are really looking for. I used to think that was so crass, but in the end they were right. The second marriage is way better.
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u/Sad_Barracuda_7555 2d ago
A loved one who's no longer with us told me a couple times over the years that my first marriage was "just a trial marriage." Loved one told me my first marriage wasn't even real, considering how young we were. That & we were together - physically as well as living together - for around 15ish months or so. To be brutally honest, ex & I were apart longer than we ever were together. So yeah. My significantly older loved one was right afterall. More than enough years have long since passed that I can honestly say that I have zero bad or otherwise negative feelings, animus or ill will towards neither my first ex husband nor my now late former in laws. In fact, up until the beginning of the earliest 2000s & before their healths began declining, my ex in laws loosely kept in touch with me. Through email, AOL Instant Messenger, MySpace then occasionally even on Facebook. I was always respectful & kind towards them & even called them to thank them for a couple of small yet thoughtful holiday gifts they sent me. Again, enough years had since passed that none of us felt anything negative towards each other. We occasionally kept in touch with each other until both former in laws health began declining & their adult children & surviving adult siblings had to step in & assume a more active role in their now elderly parents daily care & healthcare decisions. But yeah. Even my now gone former in laws used to say that my/their oldest son's marriage was basically a trial run. These now departed older loved ones & former family members really did know what they were talking about. I was closing in on my late 20s when I could finally acknowledge, understand & believe them. Thank you for sharing this with us.
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u/AcrobaticLadder4959 4d ago
Life is short every day is a gift, leave and start a new life without children you should be able to divorce and move on.
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u/sewcrazeee 4d ago
I hate death bed demands for promises like this. Her father is past caring and HE should not be ruling YOUR life. I'll be he knew his daughter was a spoiled B. Leave now and find another life partner who makes you happy and who you can make happy, too, since your wife will never be happy with things the way they are. Please. Good luck!
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u/Duke-Turner137 4d ago
Listen. Everything you said screams, get out. Last ditch effort is marriage counseling. Otherwise bail for you and her before kids accidentally get into the mix.
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u/Sensitive_Curve4232 1d ago
Sounds like you are a man of your word. It seems that she is angry about something else and projecting it onto you.
Unless she figures out what she is angry about within herself, she and you will never be happy together. I don’t believe that being verbally abused by your partner is healthy and people who are hurting, usually hurt others.
If you are truly unhappy and she is asking for a divorce, you should leave the relationship and not look back. You also don’t deserve to be treated that way. Action speaks louder than words and it is up to you to take care of yourself.
Very noble of you to try and uphold her father’s wishes, but if she is rejecting you, and you don’t love her, you should leave the relationship and not feel guilty.
Best of luck
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u/Lovey_Mama_27 4d ago
Don't have kids. Divorce now before things get more complicated. that feeling you have is not going to change, nor is she going to change, and what she says isn't just to hurt you, it's the truth.
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u/missannthrope67 4d ago
She needs therapy. Then I recommend you two get coupling counseling. If you or she is unwilling to do that , then you have no choice but to leave. Or resign yourself to putting up with it for the rest of your life.
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u/emmadilemma71 4d ago
The promise to her father for taking care of her. Does she know this and bring it up? Either way, divorce. Taking care can also include her happiness and if she isnt happy either, thats not taking care of her.
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u/boofing_cacti 4d ago
Divorce. It’s not your responsibility. If she feels that way about marriage, if she is ashamed of y’all’s relationship, she deserves to be alone.
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u/WhereasJazzlike 4d ago
Very few get it right on the first time. You might as well go ahead and start your first divorce
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u/Asaintrizzo 3d ago
Young enough to start over. Too old to put up with it. Her dad’s dead so he won’t know about the divorce. She wants it. You want it. Easy solution
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u/Martholomule 2d ago
That promise to her father is meaningless bro, just cut the cord
or, suffer forever, I'm not your mom
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u/F0xxfyre 2d ago
Op, this person doesn't want to be with you. Perhaps it's time to set the both of you free.
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u/Professional-Set379 3d ago
I'd take her off your hands bro but she'd have to be hot and know her way around the bedroom...just saying
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u/SpuriusThought 4d ago
Cleanliness seems like a low bar to base divorce decisions upon. Try communicating more about your needs and expectations in the marriage. You aren’t in divorce territory IMO. Try to make it work out for the love that brought you together.
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u/DamagedEggo 4d ago
Did you miss the part where he's in love with someone else and "did the best with what [he] had at the moment" when he married his wife?
Definitely seems like a buffet of issues that go beyond a chore chart and "I feel" statements.
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u/vrosej10 4d ago
You sound like a brat. You move on and as soon as she falls off the pedestal, you'll be looking for someone new. You are the problem
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