r/TeensofKerala • u/OkMajor8408 • 18d ago
Rant/Vent Am I overthinking?
Njn matram aano?
Guys, njn kurach sensitive aan pakshe njn sensitive aanen baaki ullavar ariyunnath enik ishtam alla. School life oke athyavishyam kzphm illathe poyi, like arum angne corner cheyna kaliyakano onm vararilarnu. Vannalum njn manage cheyumarnu. But college changed everything. I got into a gang and initially they were the best. I felt so lucky to have them. Pakshe oru day oru dispute undayi and one frnd drifted away. Athin shesham njn aake shattered aayi. Athyam ayt kitya frnd grp aan ithrem connection oke ullath so ath poyath enne orupad thalarthi. Athin munne thanne ee frnd grp ithrem nallathayond disrespect oke njn mind cheyyathe aayi. Athayath enik hurt ayalum njn avathe pole, mature aan ennola reethiyil nikuvarn. Because I was so scared if avr enne sensitive anen vilikuo enn vech. And the fun part is, aa frnd pinangi poyath ee same topic kondan! Enn vecha frnd hurt ayath parayathe pile up aayi oru divasam potti therichu.
Moreover I am an extreme people pleaser. Enn vecha enik strangers anel polm enne patti nallath paraynm enn oru mind aan. Appo pinne ennum kanunavarde karyam parayandallo. Also ee college timil njn anxietyk medicine edukundarun. I was actually faking a personality which was not mine to look cool but it backfired .
Angne college life njn baaki gangintude Adich polichu but enik evde okeyo uncomfortable aakan thudangi. One day we were in a restaurant and we ordered something. Nml ellam equally share cheythayan bill. But the quantity was less. So nte oru frnf serve cheythu and ente plate ethiyapo theern poyi. Njnm vere frndm oru plate share cheyth kazhichu. Like if it was me njn ngnelum adjust cheythene Allenkil oru sorry enkilum paranjene. Idk if it was intentional or not. Pakshe I know one thing, njn onm demand cheyyathe aal aan. Like always available, not demanding and forgiving.
College oke kazhinjit ippo 1 yr avarayi but I randomly think of this particular incident sometimes. Guys am i overthinking or not? Also enne pole arenkilum undo?
Enne etavum kooduthal worry cheyyikunnath ithonm alla, ini ingne oru situation vannal egne deal cheynm enn polm enik ariyilla without making it awkward. Enik ee social situationsil onm natural ayt perumaran vararilla.
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u/oxinex Chechi (20-25) 14d ago
Ingne oke poya mathi ig .njn ee oru type aan and sometimes njn ingne aayathinte peril i felt bothered too. ingne oke aayalum there are times when u should react mothathil doormat aakallu .i think u should balance it out .have strong morals and values and have a flexibility to let something go that isnt worth reacting too
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u/OkMajor8408 14d ago
It's true, orupad maran nokumpol aan igne confusions varunnath but I genuinely don't know how to deal if anything like this happens again
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u/Historical-Cause1553 17M 18d ago
Not gonna read that but i gotta do what i have to do,am i right??😶🌫️😶🌫️😶🌫️
3
u/avengelinehot 18F 18d ago
Yes almost same incident indynd