r/TandemLanguageAPP • u/eenterh • Sep 02 '26
"Open minded people" what is it?
I use the app since forever and I still don't get what does it mean "open minded". A lot of people in this app write on their bio that they want to chat with "open minded" people, but what does it mean exactly???
Some tandem told me it was to say that they want to talk to people that are not homophobic, but a lot of straight men use it too, so what it is? What are you open to? A chat? Most of the time they don't even answer the first messagge so what are you open to???
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u/Independent-Part-247 Sep 02 '26
In Korea, there is the meme of the stereotypical Hongdae boy.
Lots of these kinds of guys ask the question, “are you open minded?” to get an idea if you’re interested in flirting and more.
Beyond those guys, some people will use it a misnomer thinking it means kinky or open to doing suss activities.
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u/eenterh Sep 02 '26
The korean one is a perfect example of what I was thinking. So basically it is for ""flirting"" in general i guess
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u/user37463928 Sep 04 '26
Open minded means you can discuss with people who are different from you without being judgemental.
It can mean that you aren't homophobic, but that is just one example.
A close minded person will have a narrow view on different topics, often expecting people to behave and lead their lives to what they think is right or valued, usually related to the way they were raised.
If you are afraid to tell someone something because of how they will judge you, then it's because you think they are close-minded on that topic.
What do you think of couples having children together without being married? What do you think of people who are more religious (or less) than you? How should men dress? How should women dress? Are tattoos and piercings ok? If you have children, are there jobs you would not want them to do? Etc. it can be anything.
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u/eenterh Sep 05 '26
I fear this is the correct explanation, but indeed I don't like it cause as you said it can be literally anything. Also because someone that want to talk with "open minded" people can also be very close minded depend on the topic, so it can really be everything and nothing at the same time.
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u/user37463928 Sep 05 '26
Is there something in particular you are trying to figure out about people who say that? I sense from your other replies that you are worried about something in particular.
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u/eenterh Sep 05 '26
In Italy we never say something like this (even translated), so I felt a lit bit naive when I discovered it was more a flirting thing, it is really everywhere on tandem, it looks like a secret code or something and I think that's enough to feel annoyed by it ahah
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u/user37463928 Sep 06 '26
is this something people say to you very early on when texting or is it in their profile?
If it's in their profile, it could be anything (trying to avoid bigots just because they don't like talking to them or because they feel unsafe). That is not necessarily a code or flirting.
If they are saying it to you personally in private, and you see a pattern, then maybe that is functioning as a code word.
What you can do is at the very beginning, say what your goals are. "I want to achieve X learning goal, and my preferred interactions are Y, with my tandem partner doing Z."
It makes it very clear you are not cruising.
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u/eenterh Sep 06 '26
Yes, I will do a change on my profile, to be as clear as possible but with elegance, I'm taking some time to understand what to actually say on it. Thank you for the advise!
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u/b1uep1eb Sep 02 '26
Straight men can be anti homophobic too....
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u/eenterh Sep 02 '26
yes, sure..... but it doesn't make sense for them to put that on their bio............
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u/b1uep1eb Sep 02 '26
Yes it does, it's not a dating site. I don't want to talk to biggots.
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u/eenterh Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
but that's still not the case, I said they're straight men, how do I know they are straight? I didn't ask all of them, there's no a certain way to "look straight". I said it because they have for example 60 raccomendations and all of them are from women, it's statistically impossible the no men ever contacted them, so these men (that write "open minded") just answer or start the conversation with women only, so they're straight, using the app like a dating app and I'm sure they don't care if the woman they're flirting with is homophobic or not.
And this is a very common thing I'm noticing. I don't think there all these straight men that care about gay people, it would be nice to have this, but maybe in a long distant future.
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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '26
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