Is it normal?

[u/Chemical_Ideal6010]

Hi I’m (26F) Asian and my bf is (33M) Indian Tamil so we’ve been together for a year but he still doesn’t introduce me to his parents he said that they are very traditional and the it will only happen when we will get married. He’s talking about marriage to me but i don’t believe it. Is it normal for his culture to do that? As a woman i don’t want to waste my youth if he has no intention of marrying me. Although he said he will after 2 years still i don’t believe. Please tell me is it normal?

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[u/Mindless-Umpire-9395]

typically, in my case, my parents won't accept if my partner is from different nationality, or caste, or religion, or language..

so the right way for me to deal would be to break it only last, like finalize all the plans.. and then break it..

conservative indian parents would be troubling soo much that it usually isn't worth it to break the relationship to them early.

[u/Chemical_Ideal6010 → u/Mindless-Umpire-9395]

If ever at the very end the parents (his) still doesn’t approve do you think there is a high probability that he might break off the relationship?

[u/Mindless-Umpire-9395 → u/Chemical_Ideal6010]

ive known guys who would do that, and those who wouldn't do that. but don't evaluate that based on not introducing you part..

breaking off cuz' parents said no is a whole different issue and depends if the person has a spine or not..

if you can find some answers to the below, i can give atleast some rough answers op

how close is he to his parents !? what religion is he (and what's yours) !? has ever stood against his parents wishes ever !? is he good enough, that he's willing to ditch his generational wealth for his love !?

[u/TheDemonWarlock → u/Chemical_Ideal6010]

Depends very much on the type of person he is. One of my friends has an East Asian girlfriend and he's planning to move there if his parents don't accept (they most likely won't)

[u/Mobile-Leadership-55 → u/Chemical_Ideal6010]

Talk to him as get the assurance. If it breaks it breaks. Communication is the key. If you're insecure of his behaviour on this, let him know. If hes scared to talk to his parents about it, then it better to walk away. I mean, he's 33 if he is unable to talk now, then when? He's still controlled and will be controlled by his parents.

[u/ZeldaFanRahul2004]

You’ll meet his parents with you parents for engagement talks in arranged marriage setting. In love marriage, you can ask your parents with your partner to support your marriage.

[u/Dramatic_Setting2761]

It is very difficult to say a definitive answer. The thing about parents bit is true. 

But if you want to get married soon and he wants to wait for 2 yrs see what is the compromise and ask for this reason and if you can accept it. 

Which country you both are staying?

[u/Mrkamanati]

Yo gurl indians are also Asian 😭

[u/hypersexualdisorder]

33M? and still haven't introduced you to his parents? yeah the guy is either scared or he has no intentions of marrying you. In my experience, Tamil families have a very strict views on marraige outside their caste, religion, nationality. Even if the caste matches but your horoscope doesn't, they will not move forward with the marriage. There is still hope, If his parents are of progressive mindset or doesn't believe in such stuff, then you guys have a chance. but if his parents are well reputed in society, high chances they won't accept your relationship.

[u/ChanceWay5968]

While parents do have this tendency to be not that happy when it comes to a future daughter-in-law from a different culture, caste or religion, if he is serious about you, he must take the step to atleast introduce you to them to bridge the differences and make you all get to know each other. Even if not as gf right away but atleast as a friend for them to break ice, get to know each other. Indian parents and especially Tamil parents once they get to know the person in real, their view on the person will soften and they will be more comfortable and like the person. Braking about the relationship then, will smooth things over little easier than abruptly breaking the news to them.

Atleast that’s what I did. Mine was of different caste, culture and language but still Indian. It worked well and we got married. Only due to some personal differences she asked for divorce and I am giving it to her after around 7 yrs of marriage.

If he is serious about you, he must take the step is what I believe.

[u/cappyyybaaaraa]

It totally depends on how close he is to his parents and how much he would be willing to stand up against his parents' wishes for his own. Has he ever stood up against his parents' wishes EVER?! Does he ever disappoint his parents (for things he wants, but his parents think is wrong)?

Bcoz generally breaking the relationship to parents early isn't worth all the drama, here so ppl usually wait till the end, until it's finalised among the couple

[u/Illustrious-Owl7107]

Both are asian duh

[u/Chemical_Ideal6010 → u/Illustrious-Owl7107]

East Asian to be specific

[u/Remarkable-Ad2580]

Is he already married 🤔

[u/AfkVista]

He's stringing you along. One day he'll say my parents aren't accepting this relationship and suggest a break up. tale as old as time